Strip Clubs Suck


– Well guys I think we did it. I think we planned the perfect
bachelor party for Shane. We’ve got booze, we’ve got drugs, we got all the stuff
that we know Shane loves from years of being friends with him. Is there anything I’m forgetting? – Well, I mean, no one’s said it yet. Someone has to say it. So how about a strip club. Strip club. Strip Club. – Oh yeah, I’d love to go to a strip club. – Oh yeah, strip club, we have to go, and now that you said it I’ll be a killjoy if I shoot it down. – I mean why would you shoot it down? – I wouldn’t. – There’s nothing I love more than being around my buds when I’m horny. – Oh yeah, nothing like
a night on the town with a bunch of sexually frustrated guys with distractingly persistent boners. – Bink, bink, bink. – Are you saying you don’t wanna go? – I wouldn’t say that
because then you’d think I’m less of a man. – Well I guess it’s settled, we’re going. – Oh yeah, we’re definitely going cause people expect us to, you know, and that’s a good enough
reason to go I guess. – And make sure you have plenty of cash because if money isn’t leaving
you hands every two minutes they’ll think you’re scum. – Fine by me, I love spending
money in small forgettable but collectively significant amounts. – Then you’re gonna love those ATM fees. – I can’t wait. And hey, if I get sick of
it I’m sure it’ll be easy to get a large group of people
to leave at the same time. – Why would you wanna leave? – Do you not wanna go? – No I wanna go. It’s a strip club and it’s a
bachelor party and I’m a man. – Yeah me too. I’m also a man and I love
lookin at those women. – I bet you do. – Yeah I love lookin at em and wondering how their life led them here
and whether they’re happy. – Nothing makes me wonder
if I’m a good person quite like making somebody
get down on all fours and sweep their earnings off the dirtiest floor in the world. – That’s why I spend all my time trying to convince them that I’m not a creep. Even though. – You don’t care. I like to push those
thoughts deep deep down until I don’t even consider the strippers as people anymore, you
know, like a monster. – Nice way to justify your presence there. – I don’t have to justify it. I love going to strip clubs. – I’d go right now but I
need time to get drunk. – Oh right because they
don’t serve alcohol at a California strip club. – Oh yeah a place where it’s too loud to have a conversation and
all the normal social rules have fallen away completely. That sounds like a place
where I wanna be sober. – You’ll be glad you
are when you’re trying to figure out how much a lap dance costs while it’s happening. – Talk about a perfect
combination, sex and math. – Sex and math. – And don’t forget about the angry bouncer who will be watching you the whole time. – Hey, no touching. – That doesn’t make me uncomfortable. The only people who will be uncomfortable with this situation because I won’t be and the bouncer won’t be,
the strippers won’t be, will be our wives and girlfriends. – The people we care the most about. – Man, tell me about it,
cause it’s gonna be like, hey calm down, we have to
go, it’s a bachelor party. – We have to go. – No we want to go. – We have to go but we wanna go. – Have to go want to go. – We could spend all that time and money like going out and
exploring parts of the city that we’ve never been to before and buying all the expensive drinks that we don’t normally
buy because it’s not a special occasion but this time it is and gambling and playing
games, cracking jokes, til the sun comes up. But we have to go to a strip club. – Right. We have to. – We want to cause it’s a bachelor party. – Right, you gotta go to a
strip club on a bachelor party. – We have to and we want to. – Oh we definitely want to. – Yay. – Hi it’s Mike Trapp from College Humor. Click here to subscribe. Click here for more fun things. And send help to keep me from sinking. Please, please help. Please help.

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