(funk-like music) Aristotes Ahaada. Good morning, Your Honor. So you are charged with not having the lights on in your motor vehicle. And let’s see, it was one o’clock in the morning. Wasn’t sunlight, was it? No (chuckles).
No. What do you wanna tell me about this? Well, I was leaving one of my friends’ houses, and I literally just pulled out. So, I flipped my headlights on. But, apparently there was a police officer lurking nearby. He saw me driving around without my headlights, and I was driving around for five, not even ten seconds before I flicked the headlights on, so. Um, I don’t know when he saw me, but he did track me down a little bit afterwards, and informed me of my headlights. He told me that if he wasn’t with his chief at the time, he would have let me go, because I did flick them on. But just because he was with– His superior. Yeah, his superior at the time, that he couldn’t let me slide. You know what that’s called? What’s that? It’s called good cop, bad cop. Is that what they call it, Inspector? Yes, Judge.
You did that right? Sometimes.
Sometimes? Two cops? Soften the blow. One cop is always the good cop, saying you know, I’d love to help you, but I can’t. Because you know, my superior’s here. Then he goes back to the superior, says: what’d you tell him? I blamed you–don’t blame me! I wanna be the good cop. Were you always the bad cop or the good cop? It depends, Jugde, sometimes a good cop, but sometimes a bad cop. Really?
Sometimes. Does he look like a bad cop to you? Not at all, Your Honor. Your buddy’s buttering you up for his day. He wants me to be the good cop, Judge. (chuckles) Well so far, I think everybody here likes you, you’re trying to get all the cases dismissed. Wait ’til I talk to his superior. I have to go through a process before I make a decision. In your case, it’s gonna be a question of credibility. Based on what you said.
Yes. You said you got in the car, it was one o’clock in the morning, you were leaving your friend’s house, and you actually did turn the lights on, but then the police pulled you over because they weren’t on when you first started operating the vehicle. That’s basically what you said. So, if I believe that, I’m gonna dismiss it. Okay. And I’m not sure whether or not you’re an honest guy, so I’m gonna have to go through Inspector Nato. Inspector Nato? Seems like he’s pretty honest right now, Judge. Boy, you’re a softie. Well, he admitted he didn’t have them on at first, Judge, so I believe him. Well, I know that’s what he said. My question is, do you believe him? I do, Judge.
You do. Well, I’m gonna dismiss it based on the recommendation of Inspector Nato. Thank you, Inspector. And you guys don’t know each other, do you? Uh, not yet. (chuckles) I’ll take him out to dinner after this, though. Some lunch for helping me out. Take him out to dinner? Well, not dinner, no, just lunch for helping me out. Oh, are you thinking about taking him out to dinner? I mean, I might. Whatever it takes, right? He’s a nice guy. Alright, the matter is gonna be dismissed. Thank you, Judge. Forget good cop, bad cop. How about good cop, ticked off cop? This Ziggy wanna-be fills in for me one day, and lands a dinner invitation? Are you kidding me? I’ve been busting my hump in that courtroom for 15 years, and haven’t had so much as a donut thrown in my direction. What the heck is going on? All I know is that it doesn’t matter if I’m bleeding internally, I’m not taking another day off. That’s right, buddy, you can take your perfect smile, your 32-inch waistline and keep walking. This is Ziggy’s house and I’m not going anywhere. Except to dinner, but only if you ask nice. Mr. Pagway, you have seven unpaid parking tickets. I do. We’ll take those first. Okay, what do you wanna tell me about those? Well, I just wanna tell you that I guess I made a lot of bad decisions back then, and I’m currently trying to put my life back together. Paying my tickets, get my license back, ’cause I’m in a program called Building Futures, I don’t know if you ever heard of it. I need to have my license back in order to get my apprenticeship, so that’s what I’m working for right now. Inspector Carrigan, do you wanna make a recommendation on this? Yes, Your Honor, speaking with this gentleman, due to the circumstances of the top one, which is the smoking in the park, he was unaware of that due to his circumstances, and so the city would like to issue a warning for that one. It is signed, so the city is willing to dismiss. The second page, Your Honor, we recommend a hundred-dollar fine with time to pay. Inspector Carrigan has recommended that the smoking in the park be dismissed, I’m gonna dismiss it. Thank you. However, I know you’re not gonna listen to me, because it’s tough to do. Why don’t you re-think smoking? I don’t care whether you smoke in the park– Actually, I haven’t smoked in about two weeks. You haven’t smoked in two weeks? The first two weeks are the toughest. They are, and that’s the truth. It’s the truth? This is like useless information I’m gonna give you, alright, but, I’m not a smoker, but when I was in law school, I would drive to law school at night in a car in Boston, I went nights, and the guys I went up with, they’d all smoke. So I smoked for a very short period of time. Then came the time to quit and it was tough. So what I did was I bought a bunch of carrots, and every time I felt like having a cigarette, I’d munch on a carrot. Now do you know how long it takes to chew a carrot? I do. Takes a long time to chew a carrot. Because I found it was a conditioned reflex, you know? It wasn’t that I really wanted to smoke, I just, now I wanted to do something. So I ate carrots for about three weeks, and I never had another cigarette after that. (audience member laughs) So, just some useless information I’m giving you that maybe, when you get the urge again, buy carrots. Or gum.
Whatever suits you. For me, carrots worked, right? Gum gave me cavities, so I didn’t do that. Alright, Inspector Carrigan, also you had 525 dollars worth of tickets, he’s recommended that we reduce that to 100 dollars. I’m going to accept that recommendation. Good luck, we’re rooting for you. Thank you, Your Honor, thank you, Officer. Have a good day. All rise and hit subscribe so you don’t miss the latest viral moments like this one. Share these videos and weigh in on the cases. You be the judge, subscribe now.