The Kapil Sharma Show – दी कपिल शर्मा शो – Ep -129 – Fun With The Cast Of Daddy – 20th August, 2017


‘The dashing Daddy Arjun Rampal
and Aishwarya Rajesh’ ‘have arrived in Shantibhan
to meet Kapil.’ You look very good. You look very good, Kapil! You’re a lovely boy. Wow! This girl is going to change
my gender. “You’re like the Big Ben.” “London dances
to your tunes.” So, let’s begin this evening
full of entertainment. “London dances
to your tunes.” Good evening, and welcome
to ‘The Kapil Sharma Show’. We travel.. Since the world is round,
people bump into each other. Ma’am, have you ever
travelled in a train? Yes. – I know you’ve come
by bus today, but otherwise.. Since you’re paying me
for the show today I took a rickshaw.
– So sweet! When you travel by train you’ll see different kinds
of people. Some are those
who travel daily. They often carry
a pack of cards. There are around five people. They keep their suitcases
on their laps and play cards on them.
– Right. You’ll definitely come across
one such person in the train who has knowledge
on everything. – Yes. Those single seats..
– Yes. They take those. Assume that.. He tries to
change his fate in the train. When the train halts.. When the train halts,
he’s sure to pass a comment. It’s the signal. It’ll leave once
Rajdhani leaves. Right! If the train halts for too long
at a station he’ll surely pass
a comment. The engine is going to
change now. Yes! Your engine should be
changed too. He’ll pass a comment
even if the train is slow. It’s delayed by two hours. It’ll cover up at night. He has complete knowledge.
– Complete knowledge. And when all passengers
are alighting at the station he’ll look for his wife. Then someone else says, ‘She got
down at the previous station.’ ‘She said he’s more concerned
about the train than me.’ She got down! There’s always one person who
tries to be familiar with everyone.
He’ll also try to help you. He’ll help you lift
your luggage. ‘Should I put this on the top
or underneath? Tell me where.’ ‘Give that to me, ma’am.’ When you come across
a humble guy consider him to be
in the waiting list. And some people are so sly
that they never tell anyone they are in the waiting list. They’ll quietly go and..
If there are three people seated they’ll try to.. They’ll try to make some space
without letting anyone know. Then gradually, they get
adjusted. – Yes. They wait for the train
to jerk, and then.. Some people are very smart. They are aware of such
people on the waiting list. They purposely lie down
on seeing such people. But these guys are stubborn too. They move their feet slightly
and sit like that. Their shoe might pierce them,
but they won’t budge. They just have to pass
their journey. Those who have a confirmed
ticket still check the reservation chart for
their satisfaction. And if a guy on the waiting list
gets a confirmed ticket his happiness knows
no bounds. That’s what happens. And people like me, who check
the reservation chart in spite of having
a confirmed ticket.. Only to check if there’s
a girl sitting next to them. When they see a girl’s name
next to theirs, they get happy. But they’re so unlucky that
it turns out to be a guy with a girl’s name. Since their intention is bad. Like this Dinesh.. He was going to Amritsar
from Mumbai. When a girl came with
a suitcase he got very happy. ‘Oh, let me help you.’ He helped her with
all her bags. She asked, ‘Are you going
to Amritsar?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ ‘Okay. Grandma!’ She called her
80-year-old grandmother. ‘This guy is going to
Amritsar too.’ ‘Sir, please look after her.’ The old lady comes and says.. ‘Dear, are you going
to Amritsar?’ He said, ‘I was supposed to..’
– He won’t go now! ‘My uncle fell ill.
I’ll get down at Panipat.’ What’s most difficult is
using the toilet in the train. Because the train keeps
moving.. It depends on the direction
of the toilet.. – Oh, God! If the train moves on
this direction.. – Yes. And if the toilet
is on this side the train moves
in the other direction. And in case you’re
seated in this position then at that moment.. I’m sorry,
but it’s the reality. The performance that he gives
at that time.. The one who maintains
a good balance there can never be
imbalanced in life. Often, the toilet doors
in the train don’t have locks. Indians are experts
at making things work. So, pressing the door
with one leg.. When they have to use
the bathroom.. Oh, God! Those who are travelling
by flight for the first time often get confused as sometimes
food is included in the fare. Yes. – Sometimes,
you have to pay for it. Those who are new to it,
like me.. As soon as the see
an airhostess approaching with the food, this is
the kind of face they make. She hasn’t even reached them
yet and they raise their hands. Yes! When the English people
travel in flights they don’t care about
anything around them. When we travel, we eat
whatever’s available on the flight. We use the washroom
the most. The English travel
business class. They read all the books. At the most,
they order green tea. They don’t even use
the washroom. Everything happens online,
on the laptop. Whatever they do.. We have to make a lot of efforts
in order to travel. The lives of crows
and pigeons is so much fun. They fly
for as long as they want and when they get tired,
they sit on a buffalo. They enjoy. If they want to
travel fast, they sit on a dog. Just as we take a rickshaw
to travel.. You must have often noticed a
pigeon sitting on a dog. – Yes. So cute! Of all the couples that go to
a hill station for an outing there’s definitely
a newlywed couple. – Yes. You must have also noticed.. It often happens that a girl who
wore traditional attire all her life, suddenly wears
western clothes on her honeymoon.
– Yes. Right? They borrow some pants
from their brothers. The one with broad bottom. They flaunt their
western attire. If some don’t have their own they borrow from their husband.
It happens. Normally, we carry
only a pair of jeans as that can be repeated. If the man and his wife
wear them both and both get wet in the rain the husband has to stay
in the hotel room wearing his wife’s clothes,
waiting for the jeans to dry. The couples that go to
a hill station are of two kinds. Those who intend to make
a family.. I mean, those who are
newly married. And those who’ve made
a family. See the difference
between them. Those who are newly married
have no clue what’s happening around them. All they do is share
the same ice-cream. They enjoy themselves. Everything else is like
background noise. The mountains, flowers
and everything else. Those who’ve been married
for around eight years and have a child or two.. Their case is different. The husband enjoys the view
of the hills, walking alone. The husband is around
10 meters away while the wife is making
their 3-year-old pee. ‘Come on, dear.’ ‘Hold on!’ No matter where we go
in the world we always look for Indian food.
– Right. Like, if a Rajasthani goes
to Paris he’ll enjoy the view of
the Eiffel Tower all day but in the evening,
he’ll ask people.. ‘Where can I find
Rajasthani food?’ Gujaratis don’t do that,
as they carry their food. – Yes. They take so much food along that sometimes, they try to
sell it to the airhostesses. ‘Do you want to buy one?’ You’ll notice, the ladies at kitty parties often show off. ‘You know, this year,
I’ll go to Switzerland.’ ‘My sister lives there.’ She says she’ll go to
Switzerland. That’s what suits her. The other one says,
‘Okay, Switzerland.’ ‘We’re planning to go to Paris.’ ‘My husband and I are
waiting for the visas.’ They get exposed when both bump
into each other in Dehradun. They’re sitting on the pedal
boat over there. When they confront each other.. ‘There was some visa issue.’ But they don’t even
feel embarrassed. Some things are so similar.. Whoever goes to the Taj Mahal,
especially newlyweds they definitely click
pictures there. They pretend to hold
the tip and.. The newlyweds do that,
holding the wife in the arms. Then, 15 years later,
when they have a fight and when the wife sees
that picture, she gets furious. ‘Look at the way you used to
get pictures clicked with me!’ ‘What happened to you now!’ The husband also gets furious. ‘I didn’t know
you were this arrogant.’ Foreigners enjoy
their journeys. – Yes. Indians carry so much luggage.. Even if they have to go to Delhi they’ll carry four
suitcases along. They’ll look for their kids
like crazy at the station. The wife, while managing
her sari, looks for her child. They can’t even manage
their belongings. It takes them two days
to pack their bags although the journey is
of a single day. They stuff their large suitcase
with 12 underwear of the husband, towels,
bed sheets.. Some people also carry
their own pillows. They can’t sleep on
other pillows. Then they take
their child’s help to close it. They make the child sit on the
bag so they can zip it Then they zip it. Later they hear a voice
from within.. ‘I’m inside.’ Then they get the child out.
There’s so much to do. Foreigners have
the best time. They wear shorts.
– Yes. They carry a backpack along with
their wife or girlfriend. That’s how they go on trips.
They have fun. We are only worried about our
suitcases during our trips. That’s all that
we’re worried about. Some even carry
their utensils. They share them with
their fellow passengers. Foreigners don’t interact much.
They are busy reading books. Indians fix alliances
in their journey. ‘Is she your daughter, ma’am?
– Yes.’ ‘How qualified is she?
– She’s pursuing MA in Hindi.’ ‘I see. Our son is
pursing MA in Math.’ ‘He failed this year, but..’ They even share
their utensils. Then, when they are about
to alight they remember their vessels. ‘I forgot my glass!’
The train is moving. That’s true! You see, when a foreigner comes
to a small town it’s the children that get
excited the most to see them. They start screaming
on seeing them. They feel they are different
kinds of human. ‘Hey, a foreigner!’ ‘Hello!’ ‘Take a picture of me too.’ The foreigners don’t understand.
‘Naughty kids!’ ‘You..’ Thank you. Okay, I’m sure all of you
have travelled. You might have some interesting
incidents to share. You can share them
if you feel like. Is anyone interested?
Yes, ma’am. Hello, sir.
– Hello. Hello, ma’am.
– Hi. Sir, I took a solo trip
to Switzerland. So..
– I’ve never been there. Let’s go together, sir. Will you pay for my ticket? You went on a solo trip?
– The company will reimburse. Okay.
– We’ll go on a tour. Kapil! What’s going on? I’ve seen Switzerland
only in movies. I’ve never been there.
– We’ll go but listen to the story first.
– Yes. – Okay. So, basically.. So, did you go to
Switzerland alone? I take solo trips.
– Okay. Yes, so..
– Are you from Mumbai? I’m from Lucknow,
but I’ve been in Mumbai for two years now.
– Okay. Are you solo over here?
– No, I have a husband. She is solo.
Why is he sitting away from her? So, then why did you go alone?
– Don’t change your tone.. Your husband is over there.
What should I do? I’ll take care of him.
Don’t worry. Hello, sir. I don’t mess with anyone. Okay.
– So, I was waiting for the train to go to
the next station. There was a Chinese guy as well.
– Okay. Just to confirm, I was
asking him what time the train would arrive. The train arrived, and while
talking to him I got inside his compartment.
– Okay. So, when I was about to get
inside the compartment I realised it wasn’t
second class. Because I had a second class
pass. – Okay. So, I asked him,
‘Is this first class?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ And I was wondering how
a person like him has a first class ticket
while I have second class! I was like, okay. That was a penalty for me.
He was flirting with me. ‘What’s your age?’
– That Chinese? Yes. ‘What’s your age?
You look young’ ‘but you’re mature.’ I was worried about
the penalty as I’d have to pay
a good amount. He was assuring me
that nothing would happen. And as soon as I got down,
he held my hand and dragged me. But eventually,
we were caught but he contributed a bit in my penalty. So, we shared it.
That was it. But he was a good man, then.
– No, he wasn’t. I got fined because of him. Why is your husband away? Why is he away?
– We’re together all the time at home. So, do you intend to shift him
to a different house? No, it’s all right.
I’m okay with it. Okay. You two are very cute.
– Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for
coming on the show. Thank you. Mr. Archana, when
a beautiful heroine visits us I feel happy.
– Yes. Today, you have come here so, we have invited
a special guest. And he is ‘Daddy’. What!
– Yes.. So, our guest
for the day is.. – Yes. He is very handsome.
He is dashing. He is amazing. He is a model,
actor, producer. He is very talented. And what a voice
he has.. Really? Please, welcome
the very talented Arjun Rampal. “Dance is my life.” “Dance is my devotion.” “Dance is
my happiness” – Sir! How are you?
– “Dance is my life.” What happened to
Mr. Sidhu? Sir, you check on him. “Dance is my life.” “Dance is
my devotion.” – Come on! “Dance is my happiness.” Mr. Arjun, you have come
to our show before. Many times. – You’d
have greeted her from here. You have put in
a lot of effort. I never saw Mr. Sidhu
like this. Mr. Arjun is playing the
role of a brother in ‘Daddy’. Sir,
what is the film about? Arun Gawli was a don. Yes.
– He wasn’t called as a don. He wasn’t considered
a don or a goon. People used to
call him ‘Daddy’. Sir, how many years did
it take you to get ready for it? Three years. Three years?
– Three years! Sir, you made a film
based on a underworld don. Did you not feel
scared that things can go wrong
anytime? – Right. I didn’t think
about it. Don’t discuss all this
on your show. It’s a family show.
Why are you scaring people? No, I am..
– You are scaring me as well. We’ll pack up and
go home. You have one the film. Did you show the film
to them? – Yes. What did he say? He kept quiet
for a long time. He said, ‘You have shown
everything.’ I see. – ‘Don’t you think
this is too much?’ I wanted to show
all this. ‘You have shown
everything.’ ‘You have made the film
as per your wish.’ ‘I want the film
to be a hit.’ Great.
Our best wishes for the film. Sir, you are welcome
to the show. Please, be seated.
– Thank you. Thank you. You have written
the film. You have acted. You have produced
it. – Yes. That means, no one
dared to do this before. Everyone was scared. Who would write
the story? Who would make the film?
How would it get presented? No one was ready
to make it. I see.
– So, I had to produce it. That’s great. Now, it’s time to call..
Mom.. Sorry.. It’s time to call
a talented actress. Applaud for her.
Please welcome, very beautiful very talented,
Aishwarya Rajesh. “Dance is my life.” “Dance is my devotion.” “Dance is my happiness” Welcome, Aishwarya. A big hand for Aishwarya. Thank you.
Thank you. Aishwarya, come.
No? Why?
– Come on. Why are you sitting
so far? – Come on.. I have to sit
next to you! Yes.
– You look very nice. You are looking beautiful. You are looking beautiful. Kapil! She gave me a compliment
as soon as she came. Do you know
about my history? What?
History? I mean, I am very
loving guy. Oh! You are
a very cute guy. Wow.. She will change
my gender today! Cute boy! And that’s
a handsome girl. Are you married? No. In the film.
– He is asking in English. In the film? In the film, you
are married to ‘Daddy’. – Yes I am married
to Arun Gawli. You are single in real life. Yes.
– Just shift a little. I mean.. Would you like
to have something? Sorry.
– Tea or coffee. We have a huge budget
of Rs. 150. It’s going to be
tough for me. Why? Only English. No!
I can talk in Hindi. – Hey! She can! First, she wasn’t
able to talk in Hindi but she started talking
like a gangster. I am playing
the role of Asha Gawli. Yes.
She is in her character. Very nice, Aishwarya.
Good to see you. Thank you.
It’s a pleasure. I know, it’s a very big show. Kapil Sharma.. It’s.. It’s.. So kind of you. What should I say? Happy Independence Day. Okay.
I’ll teach you something. Wait.
– Yes. I’ll teach you
a few words in Tamil. Amazing.
– And.. Tamil?
– Tamil! – Superb. Yes.
I’ll give my best. What do you want to learn? Love. Okay. – I want
to propose to a girl in Tamil. Okay. – This
is awesome. Learn it in Tamil and tell it to anyone you like. No one would
get to know. ‘I love you’. Say it.
– There’s a no at the beginning. I.. I.. I love..
– I love.. I love..
– I love you.. I love you..
– I love you.. – I see! I love.. Not that word.. It means, ‘inside’. I love you..
This means ‘You’. – You. I love you..
– Yes. I love you! I love you..
– Same. I love you.. I love you.. I love you..
– That’s all. Right.
– What does it mean? I love you. She said it before everyone. I love you.. Was it good?
– Good. Good. Was the accent correct? That was good! Are you from Tamil Nadu? Nice. I love you.. Wearing a black sari.
– You are saying it wrong. You said it wrongly. I love you.. I love you.
– Right. So, I’ll say it
in Malayalam now. I love you.. Are you a Malayali?
– Yes. Oh!
– Wow! Amazing.
– The entire country.. Praise Mother India! People here are
from different states. Ma’am, where are you from? I am from Malad. Malad! You speak Malayalam in Malad. People there speak Hindi. My roots are in Kerala.
Cochin. Cochin. From Kerala.
– Yes. I find the South Indians
so cute.. Please,
do come to my house. – I mean.. I’ll prepare ‘Idli-Sambar’. Kerala is famous for ‘Puttu’. ‘Puttu’.
Yes. ‘Puttu’ is our
favourite breakfast. Yes.
you can give him ‘Puttu’. – Yes. What is ‘Puttu’?
– You can give.. ‘Idli’ is round
in shape.’ ‘Puttu’ is straight. Steamed rice.. Same.
Both are same. Ma’am, I want to
know one thing. – Yes. There is a dish
called ‘Mendu Vada’. It’s ‘Medu Vada’. ‘Medu Vada’. Sorry, I added
a bindi to it. I was asking woman,
maybe, that’s why.. ‘Medu Vada’ is round. Yes.
– Round in shape.. When you put it
in the Chutney and there is a hole
in the middle. – Hole! And the
chutney soaks in. Yes. Who invented this dish? I don’t know. But my
husband prepares it at home. Yes.
Good. But why is it like that? Just to save Chutney? South-Indians
are very educated. ‘Medu Vada’
is eaten with Sambar. There’re Sambar and Chutney
in everything. It’s eaten with Dosa.
– Yes.. Do you take it with tea? No. Is your husband Maharashtrian? No.
He is from Mangalore. Mangalore?
– Yes. Okay. See, whenever..
– Kannada. Whenever you want to marry.. Marry a boy from
some other culture. Why? Like a boy from Punjab.. Okay..
– I will tell you.. But why?
Why Punjab? Because sometimes..
– Okay.. Give me two minutes.
I am trying to a make a sentence.
– Okay. When you feel like fighting.. Sometimes, if you fight..
– Fight. When you are angry
with your husband.. – Yes.. Speak in your language. And he will say
what he wants to. None of you would
understand. Ma’am, it was pleasure
meeting you. – Thank you. Thank you so much
for coming. Thank you. Aishwarya, is it true
that you started your career.. Oh, ho! I spoke so many words
at a stretch. Yes, very good. Did you start your career
as the host of a comedy show? I hosted a comedy show
for 10 to 12 episodes. I got movie opportunities
when I was doing that. You hosted this show
on Sun TV, right? Yes, Sun TV. Did you ever think
that you’ll come on Sony TV from Sun TV? No, I never thought
I’ll be coming to your show. But..
– So sweet. I’m very happy. And I should thank Arjun.. Thank you so much
for coming. Thanks. Thanks a lot. “My heart sighs
and suffers.” “You have punished me
in love.” “What crime
have I committed?” “I am devastated.” “I am devastated.” “I am devastated
in your love.” “My heart sighs and..” Why are you crying
so much? Be a man.
What happened? Kapil Sharma, do you
see vermilion on my forehead? I have come
as a man itself. What more do you
want me to do? Shall I wear
two boxers? Arjun and Aishwarya,
he is Bachcha. I don’t
know whose kid he is. – Bachcha? He comes here. Greetings, Mr. Arjun.
– Hello, Bachcha. Greetings,
Ms. Aishwarya. There is a big problem. Tell me.
– How did the problem arise? My problem was sitting
on the sofa. It arose when I came,
to respect me. Why do you ask
such stupid questions? Mr. Arjun, I’ll tell you
what happened. I have a buffalo
named Phuljadiya. – Oh, okay. She has been kidnapped. She must have eloped
with a bull. Kapil Sharma don’t question
my buffalo’s character. She has never looked
at any bull. I am telling you
the truth. Many bulls roam around
my buffalo. But she says no
to everybody. But she never gives grass
to others because she knows
there are other buffaloes and it will eat
the grass. Nonsense. But she has told me
clearly that her prince charming
will come on a white horse. She had told me this. But I don’t know how
a bull will sit on a horse. Why have you come here?
Complain to the police. I had gone there.
They told me I am very fat. So, they cannot
enlist me. Not for that.
Complain to them. Why should I complain?
I admit that I am fat. They are just doing
their duty. File a missing report
of your buffalo. Oh, report?
– Yes. I had gone to file
a report to the CID. ACP Pradyuman
is very strange. He asked me
how my buffalo looks. I said that it looks like
an orangutan. It’s a buffalo. I got to know
one secret after hearing this. What? – They
have an officer named Daya. He doesn’t just
break the doors. Sometimes, he breaks
bones too. You will have
to help me. I need your help. Go somewhere else. Why have you come here? Whom will a kid go to
when he is in trouble? To his dad, right? They have told me that they’ll make
the buffalo eat a lot of lemons and make its milk
turn sour if I don’t pay them
Rs. 1 crore. Oh God! I was very scared. I asked them
for an alternate way out. They asked me to check
the navigation in my phone for another way. I asked him whether
he is joking. So, he said
he is joking. There is no other
option now. You tell me, Mr. Arjun. My buffalo is
with them. They don’t have
the fodder. What will she eat now? What will she eat? Don’t cry.
She is not the only buffalo. Get another one. No, that is not done. Nobody else has
a buffalo of that model. My buffalo is
one of a kind, Mr. Arjun. Really!
She gives chocolate milk if you give her
a chocolate to eat. Oh God! You will get strawberry milk
if you give her a strawberry. So, you will get vanilla milk if
you feed it vanilla ice-cream. Kapil Sharma,
you are talking nonsense. Have you seen any buffalo
giving vanilla milk? How can it give
strawberry milkshake when you feed
a strawberry to it? That is a different
situation. It gives soya milk if somebody sleeps
in front of it. Possibly.. Tell us how your buffalo
got kidnapped. You are crying
continuously. That’s a long story. Forget it. Don’t. – I’ll narrate
it from the beginning. Forget it.
– This is what happened. Three sides were dark
at 3 a.m. It is four sides. But the light was on
in one house. So, it was dark
in three sides. Look at
the coincidence. I was also sleeping
in the stable. I woke up all of
a sudden and guess what I saw. What did you see?
– Burj Khalifa. Kapil Sharma, when I open
my eyes all of a sudden I will see whatever
is present in the stable. You ask
such stupid questions. Mr. Arjun,
I was lying down. I saw four legs.
– Okay. I thought a bull
must have come to meet my Phuljadiya. And I am open minded. I panned and checked. It was not a buffalo. They were two men.
– Oh! They used chloroform
on my buffalo and dragged her. Didn’t you do
anything? – I did something. I extracted milk
from her immediately. How would I earn money
the next day? Mr. Arjun, my buffalo
is missing. You will have
to help me. You are my only hope.
Do something. He cannot help you. Go. Why should he help you? Do this
if you cannot help me. Give me sympathy. Give me Rs. 3,000 if you don’t want
to give me sympathy. I will manage with it. Okay, just give him
Rs. 3,000. Bachcha, this has
never happened. You are seriously asking money
from our guests. Give it to him.
– Okay. Give it to me.
Thank you, Mr. Arjun. Wait a minute. Hello. Kidnapper, I have got
the money. Please give me
your account number. I’ll send Rs. 500
through RTGS. I’ll send it
right now. – Rs. 500. The ransom amount is
Rs. 1 crore. Why will he accept
Rs. 500? Kapil Sharma, you are
very innocent. Who demands a ransom
of Rs. 1 crore for a buffalo? He had asked for
Rs. 500. I agreed to pay up. I took Rs. 2,500 more because I want
to watch your movie. Bachcha, you didn’t
tell them any joke. Oh, yes. Mr. Arjun, I forgot. What happens here is,
I crack jokes. I very funny.
– Okay. I very funny.
– I know many jokes. But he does not. I am telling you
a joke now. Okay, ready? Kapil Sharma.
– Yes. A girl gives you
a kiss. – Okay. She gives you
one more kiss. How many did you get? Two. 22.
Think closely. Twenty-two. It was great fun.
I’ll make a move now. Thank you very much.
Nice meeting you. Yo! Love you. I’ll bring my buffalo. Mr. Arjun has
a strong voice. When you and Mr. Bachchan
worked together in ‘Aankhen’. There was one more movie
in which you worked together. ‘Ek Ajnabee’.
– ‘Ek Ajnabee’. Actually, when you sit
and watch it in the theatre. When both Mr. Bachchan
and Mr. Arjun talk with their heavy voices,
those big speakers put up start vibrating
under your seat. It’s the effect
of their voices. Sir, when you worked with
Mr. Bachchan for the first time did he ask you,
‘Are you trying to imitate me?’ Did any such thing
ever happen? – When I worked with Mr. Bachchan
for the first time I was playing
a blind person in ‘Aankhen’. Yes.
– So, it was a good thing because I never
had to face him. – Okay. I had to stand facing
the other side. When I worked with him
for the second time in ‘Ek Ajnabee’.
I had to go to him and say ‘What’s up, Sam?’
I had one such dialogue and I had to look
into his eyes. I would always forget
the line. Whenever I looked
into his eyes I used to forget
the line. So, he said, ‘Arjun’. I said, ‘Yes, sir’.
‘You’ve done a movie with me’. So, I was like,
‘Yes, sir.’. So, he says ‘Why are you getting
nervous?’ So, I said ‘Sir, I was blind
in the other movie.’ So, it’s not possible
to compete with him. His voice is definitely unique.
– Of course, undoubtedly. We love you, Mr. Bachchan.
His dialogues are also similar. Such dialogues sound good
only with a heavy voice. ‘Don’t sit
until you are asked to.’ If it was someone
with a thin voice. ‘I’m the big daddy
here. My name is Shaheshah.’ It will just not
sound good. – Yes. Hey..
– Hey.. You.. Move.. – Hey..
– Hey, what are you doing? Look, we have
guests here. Hi, Arjun. Hi, Aishwarya.
– Hi.. – That’s wonderful. Hello.
– Your entry has added glory. Now, she’ll come
and spoil the atmosphere. Hi, Arjun. Hi, Aishwarya.
Your entry has added glory. You’re copying me.
You’re a copycat. Hey, as if you have
copyrighted this line. People say that
you look like a monkey and you’re
calling me a copycat. Why don’t you say anything
to her? – You’re looking hot. She used my make-up kit
secretly. Hang on. Why would I use
your make-up kit? I’m already very beautiful.
I don’t need your make-up kit. Oh.. Listen, if you use
my make-up kit the next time I’m not
going to leave you. If I use your make-up
kit, will you not leave me, too? The news channels
don’t alert people as much as
he flirts with girls. – Yes.. Well.. We’re helpless.
Piracy is so rampant that people are no at all
interested in original stuff. You and original?
In fact, you’re the first copy of the duplicate.
– Oh, God! A lady who makes her lips
red by eating betel leaves.. Hey, you’re a lady
and your mom, too. Hey, you’re a man
and your mom, too. Hey, cheap!
– Hey, black panther! Hey, you, giraffe!
– Hey, you, frog! I’ll kill you.
– I’m not going to spare you. When am I going
to get this offer? Kapu, why don’t
you explain her? – Lottery please understand. Get convinced.
– I’m not a festival for you
to keep celebrating me. You’re not a festival
but a witch. If I’m a witch, you’re
a poem without rhythm. Oh.. Wow!
– Oh.. Lottery is on fire today. Lottery, tell me,
what do you want me to do? I’ll help you.
Shall we send her to jail? Let’s get her arrested
while she’s gambling. When I have
a better person to help me why would I
seek your help? – Oh.. Hi! – Buddy, I made
a mistake by making ‘Daddy’. Will everyone address me
as ‘Daddy’ now? He’s already a ‘Daddy’.
Make me one soon. Oh! Anyways, Arjun,
I’ll catch you later. After the interview,
okay? – Okay. Bye. – Bye.
– Bye, Aishwarya. – Bye. The one who should have
stayed back has left. And do you want
to be paid to leave? Shall I call the lady police?
– Why do you want to call the lady police?
– Why won’t you leave? I’m not going to leave
so easily. Find a girl like me
and then, I’ll tell you. That’s true. You don’t find
stubborn girls these days. You don’t find them. Sarla, you know what?
Before you came here we were talking and we
found a good alliance for you. Listen, I don’t lack proposals.
– She doesn’t lack proposals and the instalments, too. You know what? She went
to buy half kilo of ‘paneer’ at instalments. She’s asking
the down payment to be paid! Ms. Archana,
it’s my fault. – Yes. I give him so much
of attention. There are much better guys.
– I have a hefty guy. Shall I call him here?
Hey, Bachcha! Come, buddy. – Look,
the fruit of your hard work. I had asked for
a fruit, not the tree. Listen, I can also
address you as bottle gourd but even the bottle
gourd would feel insulted if it’s compared
with the Ivy gourd. There’s a hero sitting here
and why am I talking to a zero? By the way, you both
have to get married. You’re fighting when your
alliance is being discussed. I’m Bachcha.
You must have heard of me. No. I haven’t.
– So, have you never come across anyone who
addresses kids as ‘Bachcha’? Looking at you,
I can definitely say that you must have been
born in some big city. Why?
– Because such silly things keep happening
in big cities. When you have someone
like Arjun as your guest you should have taken
some inspiration at least. I wish the guy
was someone like Arjun at least. What’s this? Listen, there’s
nothing wrong in dreaming. Even I can dream
about Ms. Aishwarya. But a person shouldn’t
dream beyond his limits. Everybody has
their own point of view. Many people consider me
to be as sweet as ‘Laddu’. What?
They consider you a ‘Laddu’? Those who aren’t vaccinated
properly in their childhood they speak
such nonsense. It happens! You need not
get angry. Now that I’m
in a romantic mood. – Wow! Let’s have
a romantic conversation. The family doesn’t run
on romance. Are you educated or not? I can write
but I can’t read. What can you write? I don’t know that. When I can’t read,
how can I say what’ve I written? If you want
into my life then remember that the girl has
to belong to a good family. To stop things
from going further let me tell you that I belong
to an influential family. My grandpa is so influential,
Ms. Archana that he can even catch
flying birds. Wow! – Even my
grandpa is influential enough. He doesn’t have time
for such useless things. You always irritate me. Today I’ve attacked you
with a group of people. You would’ve got
a gas stove instead of him, Kapil. It would’ve been
of some use. What is this? You’re getting annoyed,
unnecessarily. I’m just joking. A house doesn’t run
on jokes. Mine does.
Provided I do it properly. I mean to say, can
you actually run your family? No.. I’ll sit behind. You may run it. Forget all this. I’m being
so nice to you. Did I demand
anything from you? Don’t you
even dare. – Why? Because you might
get arrested by the police. Wait a minute. Let me tell you
something. My dad, sir.. My dad once said that I’ll get a girl home
without any dowry. I’m the one saying
that for God’s sake get some more
clothes as well. I’m giving you
so much respect. What else do you need? And if, by chance,
this alliance gets fixed let me tell you you’ll have to wake up
at 4 a.m. Why? – My cock
has refused to wake up alone. He wants a chick
to accompany him. Can you do the
household chores? – Yes, I can. In a day
how many houses can you work in? Excuse me! Why should I work
at somebody else’s house? I’m an educated person. I can stand
on my own feet. Kapil. I won’t
marry this man. – Are you mad.. Even if I die unmarried.
I won’t marry him. I’ve gone crazy. See this.
Wait a minute. The confidence
with which you said this it denotes
your lack of confidence. Heroes don’t look
at you. Kapil
doesn’t pay attention to you. You don’t have
any other option. And let me make
one thing very clear that if you don’t have
an air conditioner at home you shouldn’t
quarrel with the fan then. You may go and die! Oh, God. She’s stupid..
– What have you done? This is wrong.
– You are wrong. No.. Even I
feel the same. – Yes. She’s a bit weird
and stupid as well. Go fast.
– But I like her. Convince her.
– I’ll convince her. Go..
– I’ll be back. Since you’ve done this
movie with Mr. Arjun. – Yes. How many movies have you
done, down south? Mr. Arjun, have you worked
in any South-Indian movie? No.
– I would like to ask you. What difference did
you find.. – Yes. Between the Bollywood
and the south movie industry? What’s the difference? – I think
it’s just the language. I don’t know much. There’s not
much of a difference. I’ve seen one or two movies,
Aishwarya, in which the.. Action sequences
are pretty dangerous. Yes, a lot.
– Yes.. A hundred goons. The hero comes,
lifts his ‘Lungi’ up. Delivered the dialogue. Moved his legs.. The dust flies, a tornado
rises, he kicks the tornado and that slams the goons. Sometimes this.. Now I don’t remember
in which language was the movie. I narrated this story
to Jackie Chan as well. He was very happy.
He was shocked as well. Now if one guy fired
a bullet. Okay.
– The bullet is on the way. Okay. Because there are
four villains. Oh, God! – And
the hero has only one bullet. One bullet.
– He fired one and then he.. How do we say this? Take out. He took his knife out
and threw it at the bullet. Okay. – The
bullet is cut into four pieces. Wow! And..
– It’s really good. Isn’t it? All four of them
shared the bullet and then.. In bits and pieces.
– They went to sleep. Now I would like
to call upon three more artistes
from the movie ‘Daddy’. Please welcome
the writer, director and actor Mr. Nishikant Kamat. The very talented,
Rajesh Shringarpure. And Anand Ingale. “Life..” “Is a dance..” “My devotion..” “Is a dance..” “Every happiness..” “Is dance..” How are you?
– We welcome all three of you. Thank you.
Thank you very much. How are
you? Okay? – I’m fine. How are you?
Going good? How are things here?
– Going good. Are they
disturbing you? Yes, I’ve seen
this show once. They irritate people
a lot. Has he done the same.. How
are you? – I’m fine. These kind of shows,
should they be allowed? We can do something.
No issues. Why don’t they speak
in Marathi? No..
How can he speak Marathi? The thing is that
they can speak only Marathi. We need to progress. I’ve only learnt this,
sir. Okay. I see. Enough of progress.
Shut it up now. Now..
– The thing is that.. This friend of ours. He always talks
stupid. What?
– He always talks all this. It is.. – So people call him
the Marathi Kapil Sharma. Hey, stop it. You mean.. Hey, what are you saying? Don’t you lie. No.. – Was
this a compliment for him or was it intended
to insult me? No..
– Have a seat. Have a seat.. I feel good meeting
all of you here. I have watched
the trailer of your movie. It looks fantastic and all
of you have worked real hard. First of all,
congratulations. Sir, what are the roles of
all three of you in the film? It’s a B-R-A gang. It was famous
that way. – Yes. B for Babu Reshim. R for Rama Naik. A for Arun Gawli. Basically, you three are
in a gang. And Mr. Nishikant
is playing a cop. Yes, mister. I am Babu Reshim. He is Rama Naik. And..
– Of course.. – Arjun. I couldn’t recognise that
it was you in the trailer. Sir, he might have lost at least
25 kg for this. – That’s great. When will you lose
the remaining 75kg? No, the character you
have portrayed is amazing. Mr. Nishikant,
congratulations to you. You have made
a lot of great films. And one of my favourite
is ‘Drishyam’. You have directed
a great movie. – Thank you. I had fun watching it. Rajesh, you have worked for
a Hollywood film as well, right? Yes. ‘Raid on Osama Bin Laden.’ I will definitely
watch it. Good to hear that. As I’ve seen his films
at times. With the villains.. They play a song
and ask them to dance. They speak to the point. Even if the villain has
surrounded the heroine she will snatch his
pistol and point at him. Leave me
or I will kill you. In our movies, they say
‘Stay away or I’ll kill myself’. We are.. But no.. Our industry,
the Bollywood industry there is no one who
doesn’t know about it. The whole work
knows it. – Absolutely! Bollywood is working
at its best. Sir, here we have.. The viewers come here
to talk to their favourite stars to talk to their
favourite people. We give them a chance
to talk. You can ask them
whatever you want to. Yes.
– Hello! Greetings to everyone
at The Kapil Sharma show. What!
Greetings, Kapil Sharma show? Greetings, blue T- shirt.
– Greetings, sir. How are you?
– Sir, I’m good. My name is Suresh.
– Okay. I’m a medical representative..
– Medical field. Sir, I always reach home late as
I don’t have a fixed schedule. So my question is for
Mr. Arjun Rampal. – Yes, mister. Sir, whenever I return home
my wife keeps yelling at me for coming home late. Does it happen
with you as well, sir? My wife doesn’t
give me a kiss. Does your wife
give you a kiss? I mean to say..
– She kisses! Oh you mean to say
she kisses you. Sorry. Sorry. She kisses! Whenever I go home
she scolds me for being late. Then why do you go
home so late? Sir, my schedule is like that..
It keeps changing. Which medicine are you
making in this medical field? I am into sales, sir..
I am… Sometimes I get things
on time and at times I don’t. When your wife yells at you
hold her and start kissing. Okay. – Yes, that’s
right. – Sir, I’ll do it. Ask them to
prescribe a pill. You’re a medical
representative. Take one and give one to
her and make her drink water. She will sleep
immediately. This is.. Or else change
your house. Change your house.
– Should he change his wife? Change the wife
instead. If there’s a problem in
one house. Then you should
change the house. He changed
so many houses. Hey, no.. Thank you, sir.
Thank you so much. Yes, is there
anyone else? Yes. Hello, sir.
– Hello! Hello, Mr. Arjun.
– Hello! Sir, I’m a very big fan
of yours. You look like
a small fan. Oh! Thanks. Kapil, I watch your show every
day. I’m a big fan of yours. It isn’t aired every day.
You liar! It does.. It is aired only on
Saturdays and Sundays. That too some of
the telecasts go missing. You have done something
to your face. Yes, sir. Mr. Arjun. The fresh and active face
which you have. I try to keep my face fresh
and active by doing yoga. Can I do and show it
to you? Please do it. Please come. How are you going
to show it? Sir, I do face yoga
in front of the mirror. I will show it to you. Audience, will you do this
along with me? Then all of you do it. A! E! I! O! U! If you do this five times,
day and night your face will remain
fresh and active. I want to be fresh too.
I want to try it. Yes, sir. Let’s do it together.
– Yes, sir. All of you do it. Let’s see if our faces
get fresh or not. Come on, you start.
– Okay. A!
– A! E!
– E! I!
– I! O!
– O! U!
– U! Sir, do this five times. But you had the same
expression in A, E and I. No, sir.
– Show it to me. A!
– A! E!
– E! I?
– I! I!
– I! So A, E and I.. Sir, I will repeat it. Hey, no man.. A!
– Hey, what is this? E!
– E! I!
– I! O!
– Oh! U!
– U! Sir, after this you have
to blow the air out. I know too. Yes, sir.
Please do it. You have to repeat
what I say. Yes, sir. G!
– G! O!
– O! T!
– T! H!
– H! E!
– E! R!
– R! E!
– E! Go there!
– Go there! He is trying to
fool us. – Thank you, sir. But tell me
this, honestly.. I have put on five kg. But it’s good. It was superb.
A, E, I, O, U.. I do it every day. My mom doesn’t allow me
to do. But I do it every day. Please obey your mom. I will try it.
– Okay, sir. Thank you. I have put on
five kg. – Yes, sir. All of you try it too. And dear, change
your expression, at least. Yes, sir. Okay. I will do it, sir. It’s good. A, I..
It’s good. Is anyone else here?
Yes, please.. Hello, Kapil!
Hi, everyone! Hello, ma’am! You are acting in
a movie named ‘Daddy’ and also, you are father
of two daughters. So, even I’m blessed
with two daughters. So,
being in the Indian society don’t you think
you should have a son too? Because I’m being forced
that I should have a son also. I really want to ask you
if you feel the same. I did feel that I should
have a son too. At times, I think of it. But when my second
daughter took birth my father walked up to me and said that
he’s proud of me. That I have really proved
that I’m a ladies’ man. And I think daughters
are very good. As a parent, you should
be happy for your kids. You should make sure
the child is healthy. – Yes. That’s the most
important thing. And you are
blessed to have a baby. Thank you.
And yes, I am. Times have changed now.
But still, there are people who say all that. In fact, in my family daughters are
treated better than sons. It’s okay. I don’t have
any problem with that. But we get sidelined. If daughters are loved
in your family then I must say that it’s
an ideal family. And the family which has
a son like you has no option but to
love the daughter. He’s actually true. That’s why I said that he
has good values. He knows whom to love..
Oh, forget it! Well, that was the theme
of my first film. Now the second one
is ‘Firangi’. Sir, I promote my movie
whenever I get a chance. He does its promotion
time and again. Thank you so much
for coming. – Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you. Mr. Soni. I’m not going to stay in this
society even for a second now. Then why don’t you stay
for a few more days? I’m with you, Lottery.
Why are you furious today? Why are you here? You are the one who
troubles me the most. Lottery, I can’t see you
so tensed. Come on.
Let’s commit suicide.. Or let’s go and watch
a movie together. Watching a film with me
is not going to help you. Be happy
only by dreaming about it. Your sister is here today.
Even she talks just like you. Aishwarya.. Aishwarya.
– Yes? He is also.. What? Gender change.. Hindi.. Listen.
– Yes? I’m fed up of this. Sarla used to trouble
me so much. And now, her grandpa has
come to trouble me even more. I can’t do anything
about him. Where is he? He is here. Hello, Mr. Sidhu! Don’t you think you have
applied a lot of makeup today? Oh! Mr. Arjun..
– How are you? How are you?
– I’m fine. Don’t do this..
– How about you? I’m younger than you.
It’s okay.. How are you,
Ms. Aishwarya? She is very sweet.
– Good. No. It’s not needed. Please be seated.
I will be standing. He is Sarla’s grandpa.
He came just yesterday. He has changed his
tone today. Look, dear. You’ve a problem
with my arrival. You come here
twice in a week. Why don’t you talk
about that? Hello! Why are you
standing here? Go. Get tea for the guests. How many times will
you have your tea? You already had it four
times since morning. He wants tea it seems. Look,
I’m so frustrated. It’s okay. The glamour you add
to our show.. That’s enough to hide
everything. She’s complaining
that I have tea early morning. It’s not good to have
alcohol in the morning either. Right.
– Did you get your answer? Mr. Arjun, I must say. You’ve maintained your
body so well. It’s amazing.
Even I have done it. But I forgot my body
at home. Please be seated.
I will be standing. It’s okay. Please come here. It’s okay.
Please be seated. I’m comfortable standing.
Don’t worry. Mr. Soni, arrange for his
accommodation somewhere else. Otherwise,
I will leave. – Hello! Look, there’s no use
if you leave. Mr. Arjun, I won’t take
much of your time. She’s talking about
leaving this society. I’ve travelled the world.
The world is nothing. Delhi was built under
my direction. India Gate was so small
back then. It was very small. Let me tell you. India Gate grew up
then. And I went to
see the Statue of Liberty. I saw many buildings
there. So, I asked which among
them is the Statue of Liberty. She raised her hand.
I asked her to stay like that. Since then, the Statue
of Liberty has stood that way. You always talk nonsense!
– There she goes again. Please be seated.
Why are you getting worried? I’m fine here.
Please be seated. Please come
and sit.. – No.. I insist..
– No.. It’s not good to make
the guests stand. Great!
– Yes.. Great!
– Good. He troubles me so much. I have so much of work
at the hospital. He doesn’t let me do
anything. Hey, you!
Let me reveal your truth! Do you call it
a hospital? They have installed
a television there. You can just see straight
lines on its screen. I have connected
a cable network wire to it. Go and watch
Sony channel now. That’s ECG. We measure the patient’s
heartbeat with that. Really? That’s something
Suniel Shetty is concerned with. I remember
a dialogue from a movie. ‘This is
my motherland.’ Listen. If he keeps troubling me
like that he will ruin
my entire work. That was funny..
– What.. Great!
– What? I mean,
I will lose my job. Don’t worry about your job.
Why do you care about that? Mr. Arjun is here. I will ask him to cast you
for the role of mother. But tell me something will you forget me
once you get that role? Grandpa, please come
inside. Have your food. The ‘Khichdi’ is ready. Have you gone mad? I’ve such a beautiful
girl in front of me and she’s asking me
to go have food. She is impossible. Look, don’t even dream
of being with me. I will surely not spare
you today. Henceforth, think before
you say something. Hey, you! Don’t you dare
tell her anything! Meet me
at the backstage. I will leave you confused
with my words. Exactly!
– Yes. We are still wondering
what you just said. – Exactly! And, listen don’t threaten and
ask her to meet you backstage. She is a kid. But I
will come there to meet you. Please allow me..
– Grandpa.. You are already crossing
your limits.. Hello!
Don’t tell me anything. Curse my
granddaughter for that. Grandpa, let’s go back.
Your food is ready. Come..
– Listen to me.. Be seated, sir.
– Let’s go. Please be seated. Even you come with us. Go and give medicines
to the patients. Come! Another big round of
applause for the entire cast of the film ‘Daddy’. All of you,
thank you so much for coming. And, Mr. Arjun..
Let’s do it for our audience. Look, there’s no doubt that
your film will be a hit. So,
let’s celebrate it in advance. I’m sure you will get
busy later. – All right. Let’s do it.
– So, I present you Arjun Rampal. He’s the DJ tonight! “You are getting married.
What do I do now?” “You are taken now.” “You walk with heels,
making that tapping sound.” “You apply makeup too.” “You read in English
and speak in English.” “Like our Queen Victoria.” “You’re the bell
of the big ben.” “You make the entire
London sway to your tunes.” “In the woolen sheet,
have your honeymoon.” {an5}”Come in front of me,
and tell what’s your size.” {an5}Thank you.. {an5}Thank you so much..
– Thank you, everyone! {an5}Thank you so much for coming.
– Thank you everyone! Thanks a lot.

About the author

Comments

  1. Sidu ji baithe to pichhe Ladkiyan baithti h or or archana ji baithi h to pichhe ladke baithe h aisa q ladke k pichhe Ladkiyan or ladkiyon k pichhe ladke pde hote h? By madhu, reply please ….. Kapil sir….

  2. Arjun rampal one of the 🔥 , sexiest and handsome actor , model in world unsung though !
    May god bless him with happiness. My biggest crush ❤❤😍. So humble in spite of working so hard ❤❤

  3. I am also malayali.i don't understand this language. but I love it Kapil Sharma show.
    Aishwarya smile so sweet.

  4. Kapil Sharma ka sho to bahut Accha Lagta hai,lekin Archana Madam ka Hasi Bahut Bakowas Hai, Ye Archana Kidar sai Ata Hai Gandhi Hasi Owali Madam

  5. Hello sir
    Apka show bahot achha he
    Me jab bhi sad hota he to me apka show dekhta hain or bahot achha felling aata meko
    Thank you sir

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