The Last Goodbye ft. Amy Grant | Dinner Conversations


(melodic music) – Dinner Conversations
is brought to you by Food For The Hungry, a relief
and development organization serving those in need around the globe for more than 40 years. – Help our friends at Food For The Hungry save thousands of refugee lives today by considering a generous gift. – A gift that will be matched 22 times. – It’s incredible. Visit fh.org/dinner to give now. (melodic music) – Today’s episode is with
a legend in Christian music and pop music.
– Pop music. Amy Grant is here today
on Dinner Conversations, and I’m very excited. I first heard her sing, ♪ My Father’s eyes ♪ If you don’t know that song,
“Father’s Eyes” by Amy Grant, Google it. – Did you have it on a cassette tape? – I had it on a little album first and then of course cassette. – And then CD and downloads. – How did you get to know Amy? – You know, Amy, I got to meet her through my good friend Cindy Morgan, and through that, I have
become the recipient of what I believe is Amy’s
beautiful friendship. She is a warm, inviting, accepting, open-hearted person, so kind. And what I really love about her, and I think we experienced
this on set today, is that when you’re in the company of Amy, you can just be yourself. We had a great conversation
about losing her parents. She just lost her father,
losing both of them through the journey of dementia. And of course that’s a
personal journey for you too. – Yeah. And you’re gonna love this conversation. And there’s one seat left at
that table, and it’s yours. Let’s join the conversation. (melodic music) So, Amy Grant, how are you? ♪ My father’s eyes ♪ was the first time I
ever heard of Amy Grant. – Really? – Oh yeah. I was in Houston, Texas, and
I fell in love with that song because it was speaking to me. And then I followed– – It was the year before I was born. – [Mark] It probably was. – That puts it all in perspective. (laughing) – It was probably ’80, was it ’80 something? – I recorded in that in 1979. And it was written by Gary Chapman. – And what a lyric. I was already in love
with lyrics at that time. – Yeah. – And anything that
spoke to my young heart. ‘Cause I’m a few years older
than you, but you started early. – [Amy] I did. – You were how old when you started? – Fifteen when I started writing songs, and I was 17 when my
first record came out. But it just barely. It just came out kind of like, the way dew appears on grass. No one like… The big thunderstorm, you
just sort of showed up. – What was that album? – That was just a record
called by my name. – Did you have any clue? I mean, did you know what was ahead? Did you even think about
what could be ahead? – Oh gosh, no. I just, you know, I loved music. I mean, this is still true. I am as happy in the
crowd as I am on stage. I just, through a strange
set of circumstances, got the opportunity to make music. And nobody cared. I mean nobody. I was in high school and
it wasn’t a big deal. And I told a few friends but not many, in case it was a total flop. I didn’t want anybody’s sympathy. (laughing) It was not a career path,
you know. I just loved music. And I knew a lot of people who were much more talented than I was. So I was kinda like going,
how did I get this shot? But I did. And I felt that way a lot in my life. Like I’ll get a call to do something. And I remember asking a producer one time, like was there a nuclear blast and all female singers were
killed and so I got the call? – Really? – Is that how you felt when we called? (laughing) – Close. – When did you realize, OK,
this is really taking off, and how have you dealt with
your insecurities about that? I mean, how do you handle
that? How do you fix that? Just get out and do it? – Well, the first question. – Right, I did ask three. I’m sorry. – I was a senior in
college. I did not graduate, but I was into my fourth year of college, and all my friends were
getting serious jobs, like a lot of people
were just interviewing. And up to that point, everything, it just felt like, oh, what
a fun weekend thing to do. And I just kept thinking, ooh, I
need to do something serious. I think I need to get a real job. – So music still felt like a hobby. It still felt like this
is on my spare time. – Yeah, and I think it’s because of the amount of space it took up in my head, and as weird as this sounds, it still takes up the
same amount of space. – Which means? – It means that I love doing it, but I don’t wake up and go to
sleep thinking about music. I don’t wake up… And so I don’t know if that was just how I managed my expectations, I don’t know if it’s how
I managed my insecurity, but it’s just– – It’s not your all, like
you’re not addicted to it. – Well, I guess not. I mean, I love it. But I create… There’s so many ways that creativity expresses itself in life. – I think about songs, like when he talks about “Father’s Eyes,” and I think
about now your perspective, that’s what, 30 going on 40
years ago, can you believe that? Do you, when you sing those songs, when you think about those songs, or just think about that music that was coming out of you at
that age and that time, do you still relate to that, or is it kinda like a distant memory? – Well, it’s all those things. I mean, some of that… I mean, it’s just like
anything that you did when you were in high school
or just out of school, you kinda go, oh my gosh. I mean, you’re the same person,
but you just grow and change. – And you wouldn’t have said
it quite like that maybe. – Well, like with “Father’s
Eyes,” I just sang Gary’s lyric. But it’s funny how a song like that, the meaning, some songs
the meaning deepens. And then becomes nostalgic for all kinds of different reasons. But I find that with every song. You sing it ’cause you’re coming at it from one vantage point. And then something will happen in life and then suddenly you go, oh my gosh, I’ve got a song that just fits this. – Yeah. – But that’s just perspective, you know, it’s always changing. – I think about perspective, OK. So your dad just crossed
over to the other side. – That’s right. – A few weeks ago, and your mom passed a few years before that. And so now I remember, this
is why this comes to mind, I remember talking to my mother, who… My grandfather died maybe
four or five years ago. Her mother had died
several years before that. And I was just talking to
her after my granddad died. We’re all very close. She was
very close to her parents, and I said, “How do you feel? “How does it feel to…” There were a lot of raw emotions, but what I remember her saying
is, “I feel a little displaced.” She said, “Because I’m
the top of the chain now. “I am the matriarch.” Is what she kept saying. Even though she has brothers and sisters, of her family, she is now at the top. Do you feel, even with all the emotion of losing your father, do you feel some of that placement? – I mean, I… – You’re next, is what he’s trying to say. (laughing) – I do feel like… Yeah. I mean you feel a little
bit hedged in when you can look down the road.
– Yeah, the conveyor belt. and go, he’s much older than I am. I mean, he’s my dad.
– [Mark] At least he looks it. But I think because my father had such a long battle with dementia, like the first thing
I felt when he passed, it was best said by my sister Kathy. She said, “You know when
you travel overseas, “like for every time zone
difference you’ve been in, “it takes about that long to adjust.” So if you are in Southeast Asia, you can still wake up two weeks from now in the middle of the night ’cause it’s 14-15 hour difference. And right after my dad passed, she said, “The last eight years I don’t even know “what time zone you’ve been in.” And that was really how it felt. For about two weeks, I
just remember kinda like really feeling untethered. Not by own mortality, but just, I mean not thinking about I’m next, or even the baton has been passed. What’s this? Oh, I’m holding it, oh my gosh. But it just felt unfamiliar. And our routine of how we
cared for him, so I felt– – Did you all take care of him yourself? – No, we had professional
round-the-clock care in an efficiency apartment. It was just what worked best for him, and he had saved and
planned and set aside, so we were using all of his resources. Anyway, the first thing I felt was I felt untethered from my sisters. – ‘Cause this was a joint unified effort. – Yes. And we would at least once a week try to all be with dad together. And as he lost language, it just
became the catch up for us. And my dad’s always been
surrounded by the voices of women. (Andrew laughs) And so we thought even
he’s not participating, but this is familiar to him. And that has been a big adjustment. And then I packed my suitcase. I had one gig at the Wild Goose Festival, and then I just traveled. I went to New Hampshire and
visited a college friend. I was in North Carolina,
a high school friend, hiking in a thunderstorm,
I went to Colorado. I went to Boston to see
Vince with The Eagles. It was just like I felt like
nobody was waiting on me. And I wasn’t letting anybody… Wasn’t leaving anybody in the lurch. And that was really fun. – How many years did
he have that dementia? – We started noticing it in
2009, and then he passed. – [Mark] About nine years. – Your dad, as a doctor, and
someone who I would think knowledge was a resource for him and something he collected and loved and used as an exercise in his profession, but pride in his life too. And being a father of girls. But I’m sure wisdom was
something he loved to impart. To lose those faculties. Not even thinking about him, but you guys. I just think about it in
relation to my parents. I’ve gleaned so much from them. I love being in their
company, hearing their words, their language, their advice. To begin to lose that, it’s hard. – But you’ve lost him twice. That’s the thing with
dementia, you lose them twice. – Well, that first
goodbye is long and slow. But you’re right. One of my sisters battled
cancer for a while, and she’s great now. But you know, she just said, “I want so bad to be able to talk to dad.” ‘Cause he was in radiation oncology. You know, but mm-mm. But when he first started losing it, like you would get a voicemail. My sister played one for
me and he was trying to talk to her, and then he’d be
like, “Come on, Burt, come on.” Like talking to his own brain. – Oh my God. – And we chose to speak
as openly as possible with him about what was going on. And so I don’t, you know… Oh my gosh, I remember
being out at our farm, which none of us have ever lived there, but we have just enjoyed
getting away there. And I loved taking my parents out there. And at the time, I had a little golf cart that I would just… Just moving my mom from the circle where everybody was
sitting to the outhouse. Sounds awful to make an 80+
year old woman use an outhouse, but it’s all we had. But I was motioning to my son, going, this is you and me, buddy. I want a golf cart ride to the outhouse. Got this? (laughing) And he’s on the other side of the circle with a lot of family.
He’s going like this, straight to the home. (laughing) – Well, I can tell him how to do that. My mom had dementia and my dad was trying to take care of her. And finally, we said, “Daddy,
we can’t let her kill you.” And so he agreed, and we told her she was going to the hospital for tests, and that satisfied her. But she went to a home. But he came every day,
and she was only in there seven months. And her last words were,
“I’m going to the light “on the other side.” – Wow. – Isn’t that cool? So the dementia thing
for us wasn’t as long, but it is a double goodbye, you know? – Yeah. Well, you know, life is… Everybody’s life is unique. And we, you know… I think we’re given the tools for a unique journey that we’re gonna be on. That’s part of faith is just trusting that you have what it takes. And you know, I’m kind of a tree nut. I have more enthusiasm
than I do knowledge. But we’ve done two
different small loggings of trees at our farm. And looking at the growth
rings on a tree, they… You know, if like I’ll
say, well, this black walnut was very strong or this ash, whatever. But you know, the growth
rings on a tree are tight, which makes for really strong
wood when the times are hard. And the growth rings are very relaxed when there’s enough
water, enough sunshine, enough…
– Interesting. And I do feel… I feel like I got some tight growth rings. And you can’t undo that. You
can’t undo loss of innocence, you can’t undo a new toolkit
for problem-solving skills. But I mean that’s what we
all go through, that’s life. (melodic music) – You can help save thousands of lives by giving a generous gift to
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for every dollar you donate, we will enter you into a drawing for our Season Two grand prize giveaway. And! – What is the giveaway? – It’s dinner with me and
Andrew in Houston, Texas, at my favorite restaurant. – And right after dinner we’re
coming back to Mark’s house to be a guest on Mondays
with Mark live broadcast. – And your travel and
accommodations are included. (melodic music) Does it ever concern you that you might… My brother and I have
talked about dementia. I mean does that worry you at
all, that you might get it? – [Andrew] Do you worry? – Do you ever think you might have it? – I just have never known you to be… – ‘Cause sometimes I think
why did I come in this room? – Yeah. – Have you gotten there yet? – Oh, yeah. I mean every time I lose anything– – I think you did that
when you came in here. (laughs) – Why’d I come in this room? – Yeah, no every time you
lost the car keys it’s like… But you just can’t… – [Mark] Worry, no. – Yeah, you can’t worry about that. – He said that your mom said going to the light on the other side. I distinctly remember this. I must have been maybe in junior high, and a few of us went to a show of yours. It was right after Rich Mullins had died, and you were doing a song or
something in tribute of him. And you said something to that effect of, “Now that Rich is on the other side.” And I remember in my very young
perspective and experience just so deeply identifying
with that, even at the age. That was the first time I had heard death as kind of that definition. And I think the identification
was already knowing, at 11 or 12 or 13, that I am in this life, present in this body, and
a beautiful life it is. But I mean pining for what is not yet. Do you find yourself, even… Especially in– – You mean like for heaven and all? – Yeah. Well, and to be complete. I mean even more than a place. I want to be as I was created to be, which I believe we’re just not yet. Do you find yourself in
that kind of not yet, in between the ever after, you know, really pining for that even more? – Because you’ve got
more people over there? – [Andrew] Maybe so. – Yeah, I mean, at different
times, I feel different things. I mean I, as a high schooler, I went to such a vibrant, alive church. And this was in the 70s, and everything was Maranatha, which means “come, Lord Jesus.” But I remember going, please
don’t come until I’ve had sex, I really wanna be a mom. (laughing) There were always things that
I really looked forward to. And so I was like, I mean,
yes, I want you to come, but this is beautiful. – Right, yeah. Meaningful and… – And grand babies,
you got that coming too, or have you already got ’em? – I have two grandchildren
from Vince’s daughter Jenny. And I’m crazy about ’em. – How old are they? – [Amy] Four and seven months. – Ooh that’s a good age. – I know. Four-year-old spent the night last night. – [Mark] Really? – Yeah. – The battle is on. – It was good, it was good. But yeah, I think I just… I don’t want to outlive
my brain or my body. I would love to just be grateful
for the day that I’m in. And it’s hard and sad to see people… To see anyone that has
outlived their curiosity or outlived their joy
or outlived their mind. – Yes. It’s tough when you’ve outlived your mind. – Is that where you’re at?
(laughing) – No, but I was thinking about a friend. You know Sheri Easter, by chance? – Mm-hmm. – Her momma had Parkinson’s
and just passed. And I’d go visit her when
I’d go see them, you know. And she was literally awake, alive inside. But she couldn’t even open her eyes. And that’s when I think, where
is the Lord in all of that? I mean, why? And is it wrong to give ’em a little push? I’m serious. ‘Cause we just put our dog down. – Like give people a push? This just got really weird.
– [Mark] I mean is it wrong? (laughing) – Now this is going… I’m doing a U-turn here, but none of this will make the tape or all of it will. But no, if you were dying,
where do we get it in the Bible that we can’t help people get on to glory? – Well, maybe even reorienting that idea is like we’ve extended
our lives synthetically to some degree.
– There you go. And I think that’s the heart
behind what you’re saying is– – No, not really. (laughing) It probably is. – I was invited, this
has been a few years ago, to a dinner party that Senator Frist gave, and this was the invitation: Let’s have dinner and talk about dying. – I love that. – And I went, oh my gosh. And then he sent out an
invitation, I mean a guest list. There were 30-some odd people there, and it was our names, where we lived, and then some description of who we were. But when I– – I thought there was gonna
be a birthdate and a dash. – No, yeah, that’s a good idea. But everybody had… It was sort of comical, you know. And we showed up, and we were
told that it was gonna be basically a led conversation. But as a doctor, he said, “Seventy-five percent of people say they
wanna die at home. Twenty-five percent do. “End of life care is the number one cause “of personal bankruptcy.” And he said, “We should
make some decisions “ahead of time, have a plan.” And as you were saying, I think, do not resuscitate is a
plan that a lot of people are starting to choose because
there’s so many options that people will outlive quality of life. – It sounds dark, but isn’t that kinda… I feel like that’s kinda
giving life quality. To die gracefully or graciously. – If you can. – [Andrew] Right. – You don’t get to choose
your exit, usually. But if you have any input into
that, I would say painless. I don’t mind dying. I honestly can’t wait. It’s the only thing I haven’t done. I am looking forward to it. I don’t like pain. – OK. – OK. Do we got that straight? She’s like… No, but dying doesn’t scare me, but getting there, the
physical aspect of it. – Yeah, who knows. Yeah, you’re right. (laughing) – Where do you wanna take that? – I just wanna go to… There’s so much about today
that is worth engaging in, and so I don’t really even… – Entertain it. – You know, I tell myself
what I tell my kids. You’re still breathing. OK, people are more
important than things. Just keep breathing and we
will figure it out from here. And so yeah, I mean… – Take it as it comes. – Just take it as it comes. – My dad always says that, I’m
taking it a tick at a time. – Yeah. (melodic music) – [Andrew] So this is how we first met. – It is. – In chairs like these, talking to… This is the moment– – And we really should
have just left it there, shouldn’t we? (laughing) – I was gonna say it’s the
moment that changed your life, the trajectory of your entire late life. – Late. – Yeah, exactly. You know what I wanna (laughing) talk about today is your mother, Bev. – Bev. – Anyone who has even seen our show, but even more so has followed your career, seen you in concert, or
known you through the years, knows that your mom has had some influence on you, some kind. What kind of influence do you feel like your mom has had on you? – You know, it’s interesting
now that she’s dead. I see her differently, and I saw her see her mother differently when her mother died. She and her mother had a very
contentious relationship. I mean, it was really contentious. – From both sides? – Well, I only saw one side
’cause I was on my mother’s… I was at the house when she would hang up the phone on her mother and then say, “I love her,
but I don’t like her.” And that’s where I first learned that you could love someone and not like them. And… No. (laughing) Well, you know, and during my
time, years with my mother, we got into some heated arguments. I mean, anger, angry, ’cause we
were so much alike, I think. And she had an opinion about stuff that I didn’t want her
to have an opinion about. – [Andrew] Like? – Like anything to do with my career, because when I joined the vocal band, ’cause she was a part
of my life in my career, I had a career at 11. So she was part of all that. – Kinda manager mom a little bit. – Yeah, maybe. And then when I joined the vocal band, I moved into a world she
knew nothing about, right? And so I would come home with new problems and she would wanna give her own opinion, so I just quit coming home
with any problems at all. I knew not to discuss anything to do with stuff that she doesn’t know. – So did that kinda… I mean, if you can’t bring your
problems home to your mom. – No, I just, I wanted… I didn’t have any problems. Being in the vocal band was
the easiest gig I’ve ever had. There were no problems, but I couldn’t discuss anything because… I didn’t really want to anyway. I didn’t come home to talk
about life on the road. I came home to be her
son and be with my family and go see my friends. But I came home rarely
when I got on the road ’cause I was on the road all the time. But I reminded her often
that you gave my to God. She would always tell me that growing up, “I gave you to God before you were born.” And she did. She lost the baby before
me, she nearly lost me, and so she said… And she laid in bed for seven months ’cause her water broke with me at three months.
– That early? Three months into the
pregnancy her water broke, so she had to lay down for seven months. – [Andrew] To keep you from… – Or whatever, six months. – [Andrew] Crawling out. – Yeah, well the doctor
said, “You’re not pregnant.” And I was on the inside of her naval holding on for dear life,
saying, “Yes, she is.” (laughing) – You were gonna make it. – So while she was in
bed, she over and over prayed and gave me to the Lord, so she reminded me of that my whole life. And I felt special because of it. Well, when the Lord called
me to do what I’m doing and I left, I left at 17
and I never looked back. I mean, that’s what you do. I’m not a millennial,
we leave home, you know? And when I would go home,
she would be so smothering, ’cause I was home so rarely,
that it made me come home less, because I can’t breathe. – You felt like controlled a bit or? – I wanna go home and see my friends too. So that was really aggravating. So there was all that but when they die, and I always used to make fun of momma ’cause I said she’s rewriting history. ‘Cause after her mother
died she became a saint. – Her mom did. – Yeah. Not another negative word. – Really? – Ever. It was like a whole new person emerged. – Did you ever ask her about that? – Oh yeah. You know me, I’m gonna ask. But the truth is, when I explained this to Gloria one time, Gaither. I said, telling her
about this, and she said, “But you know, that’s just
like when you go to heaven. “All the negative’s gonna fall away.” ‘Cause I do have trouble remembering the negative about her now. I have to make myself remember it if I’m going to remember it. ‘Cause now I remember all the good. I remember that I’ve never
known anyone love Jesus, or believe in Jesus, I don’t
know how much she loved him, but she believed in him. I think she loved him too. And it caused me to. I mean, we talked about Jesus
like I talk about Andrew. It was as real as you are. So that was good. – And same. – And same, and similar. Yeah, he had two eyes also. – [Andrew] Handsome little devil. – Yeah. – I think about your mom. I do wanna talk about the last
few years of your mom’s life. She had dementia the last– – Three years. – [Andrew] Three years of her life. – That we know of. – OK. Tell me, when did that… When did it dawn on you
or when did you finally have that realization that
she’s gonna lose her mind before she takes her last breath? – When my dad called
and said the doctor said she’s in the fourth stage. How do you get to the fourth stage without somebody knowing it? But my dad said he’d already… He knew it. Because when she went to a lunch meeting with some of her girlfriends, that she had done a million times, and couldn’t remember how to get there. That’s when he first
knew something was up. So I’d heard someone say
the problem with dementia is you lose them twice. That wasn’t an original thought. But I heard someone say that,
and then I watched it with her. But it wasn’t bad because
she forgot all her dogma, which I didn’t agree with anyway. So it was great, actually. – Become more tender, or? – She became much sweeter. She became not so concerned
with what you believe but just that you are. It became like it should
have been all along. – How interesting. – She no longer was slipping
a cassette into my pocket of a new song she wrote. – Interesting. So you experienced a
side of your mother… – She became a fan when
I joined the vocal band and quit being my mother, which was odd. I would go home and lay on the couch, and she’d be taking pictures
of me like a fan would do. OK, now that was odd. – Yeah. – But when the dementia came, I
got three years of her not… She didn’t even remember
I was in anything. I mean, she remembered me, but she didn’t remember anything else. She didn’t remember she wrote “I Thirst.” Oh, she was so proud that she wrote that. Like I’m proud I wrote “Mary Did You Know?” I mean, she should have been proud. The cathedrals sang it and it became a big Southern gospel song. But the last week of her life, we were singing it in the nursing home. She knew every word. And at the end of it, she… I asked her, “You know
who wrote that right?” She said, “No, who?” I said, “You did.” She said, “Oh, I did?” And then she said, “That’s pretty good.” Which I thought was cute. ♪ Thirst ♪ ♪ Yet He made the sea ♪ ♪ “I thirst,” said the King of the ages ♪ ♪ In His great thirst
He brought water to me ♪ You know who wrote that? – Who? – [Mark] You know who wrote that. – No, I don’t. – [Mark] You wrote it. – Oh, I did? – [Mark] Yeah. You sure did. You’re good– – That’s good. – You’re a good songwriter. But it was nice ’cause she
still remembered Jesus, which we could talk
about Him, which I loved. And she knew every word to every song, every hymn, the harmony. – When I think about, you
know we talked with Amy about her parents both
experiencing dementia, talked about the two goodbyes. And the interesting process of seeing someone you know begin… Their memory, I guess, begin to diminish. I don’t know if their mind diminishes. Their memory, right? – What it is, it’s like a VHS tape, it was explained to me
by the head of the… I did a concert for Alzheimer’s big operation in Dallas. And he said, “It’s like
a video cassette tape.” He said, “And you run
through your whole life.” He said, “You get to the end and it starts “erasing from the end.” He said, “It erases from the
most recent to your childhood.” So you could ask momma, “What year is it? “1947,” she’d say. Or I told her one day, I
said, “Daddy’s coming.” Well, she thought her daddy was coming. And she jumped up, “Oh, is he? Is he here?” And I realized, oh my God, she’s
thinking her dad’s coming. So it’s like the memory, that’s the way they explained it to me. – So it’s almost as if they’re
becoming a child again then, if they’re going that route,
and there’s some of that innocence probably of the childhood too. You’ve said a lot not only on our show but I’ve heard you say before, too, you know like about grief. We’ve talked about grief on our show. We talked it about with
Chonda and Ken Davis. And you’ve kind of eluded
to I’m not sure that I grieve in that way or
that I’m actively grieving. Like we kinda talk about
experiencing grief a lot. And then especially in
relationship to your mother, that– – Well, I didn’t see her that much. – When she was, in the past. – When she was living. I saw her two or three times a year ’cause I was on the road all the time. I mean all the time. And I didn’t live there. And Lynchburg is not easy to get to. You gotta be headed there to go there. I mean, to even go through
it, you just don’t, it’s out of the way. So maybe that’s why when
daddy called me after… We had Thanksgiving on
Thursday. Monday she dies. And dementia doesn’t kill you, it just… You know, you die from something else, but you lose your mind,
you just live like that. But she did, she died,
she had a heart attack. And he called me and
said, “Your mother died.” He said, “Your mom went
to be with Jesus tonight.” And it’s like someone
hit me in the stomach. And I cried there just for a brief second, more so for him ’cause
I heard it in his voice. ‘Cause 62 years of marriage, and it seemed like he loved
her more now than back then. He would sit and hold her hand. I never saw them sit and hold hands. And he just doted over her. That’s why it took him forever to let us put her in a nursing
home, because he said, “No, she’d do this for me.
I’m gonna do it for her.” Well, I saw him dying. – Right, trying to take care of her. – Yeah, and I said, “Nuh-uh,
I’m stepping in here. “I know she’s your wife,
but she’s my mother “and I get a vote too. “And you’re not the best person
to be taking care of her.” And so he agreed with that. And it was so wonderful.
Anybody dealing with that, put ’em in a home. Trust me, you walk in, if it
smells like pee you walk out. That’s how you find a nursing home. And there are people who love,
that feel called to this, and we found one in Bedford, Virginia. And daddy then became her husband again and not her caretaker. And that needs to be
separated in their minds. – For your dad’s sake. – For my mother’s sake ’cause
she would get mad at him. And he’s the care… She can get mad at the caretaker, but she would never get mad at him if he was just her husband. – So do you think grieving, like you say, she’s kicking up gold
dust, she should be… – Well, I believe what we sing about. I believe the message of Jesus, that God sent Him to us to
take us home, to deliver us. So if I say I believe,
and I really do believe it. I mean, it’s not hard for me to say that because I really do believe it. That she’s in Heaven, and
she’s got a great mind now. And now she knows God is as sweet as I told her all along He was. We used to argue about that. She’d call and say, “The fear of God’s a beginning of wisdom.” And I’d say, “But perfect
love casts out fear. “How do you fear someone
who loved you enough “to die for you, momma?” I don’t fear God. Nothing in me fears God. I adore Him, can’t wait to see Him. If everything I’ve
heard about Him is true. – Yeah, in awe. – He’s more wonderful
than I’ve ever dreamed. And there’s nothing to fear. He’s a welcoming, loving Father, who wants you to run
boldly into His presence and jump up in His lap,
like every healthy father has been an image of that for years. But the dementia took all that away, all the fear of God, all the dread. She loved Jesus, but she’s
scared of the daddy. – Kinda legalist. – Yeah, ’cause Jesus came between her and the Father and took the beating. And so she’s a little leery of daddy. Well, she never got
that when you see Jesus, you’ve seen daddy. Jesus is the Father. They’re all one. It’s hard, you gotta go ask Richard Rohr. – That’s right, yeah. – But The Divine Dance I think
explains that really well. The Trinity, I’m reading that right now. So I think she’s gonna be a blast. You know I don’t know why I don’t grieve. It’s a lot of wasted time. They wouldn’t want you to. – And some people grieve, I think… I’ll speak for me. My grief would be for… That maybe I’m still, and I think this is the idea of what you’re saying maybe, is that I’m still here
in this kind of broken world.
– They should be grieving. – Yeah.
– For me. – And so I experience that as
that’s what I call grief. – Well, I say that in… I say momma’s kicking up gold dust. I’m looking at you, let her grieve. Now I’ve said that and that’s
a joke, but it’s true, too. I don’t think there’ll be
any grieving in Heaven. I mean, what’s to grieve? Unless they can still see down here. – Sure. But even then, maybe they
have a different perspective. – Right. Oh yeah. Oh, no doubt. If we could see what’s
going on behind the scenes, what God’s up to something. As Gloria Gaither says, it’s
eternal and it’s for our good. I think when we get home, He
is gonna replay our lives, like we’ve always dreaded. But it’s not to embarrass
us but to show us how He was working behind the
scenes to get us home. It was a lot more work
than you ever dreamed. And you just thought you
were stumbling through coincidence after happenstance. And I’ve been working my
butt off to get you home. – And maybe that’s even part
of the grief, I keep thinking, is that I want to see
behind the curtain more. You know, yearning to see and know. – When someone dies that
I have seen every day, or I’ve been in contact with
every day, I might grieve. But I have not really, I’m
never around anybody very long. Which is kinda sad when
you think about it. But I like my life for
what it is, I don’t… I mean, I have blissfully, airheadedly danced all the way through it. (laughing) And I’ve really enjoyed it. Even the bad stuff. I look back, it’s wow, I learned from that. I got a good story outta
it. That was 20 minutes. – [Andrew] Yeah, that’s right. (Andrew laughs) – That’s 20 minutes of material
I don’t have to worry about. Everything I go through that’s horrible, I just look for the
diamonds, and they’re there. They’re everywhere. Especially when the world’s falling apart. Especially when you get a doctors report. Especially when you hit Shepherd Drive face first without a helmet. They’re diamonds. And while we’re here, it’s
only 80 years if you’re lucky. When you look at eternity,
that’s a blip in time. Just, you know, hold on and trust Jesus and you’ll get through it. – Hold on, you got 20 more. – Maybe. (Andrew laughs) No one knows. Dinner Conversations is brought to you by Food For The Hungry, a relief
and development organization serving those in need around the globe for more than 40 years. – Help our friends at Food For The Hungry save thousands of refugee lives today by considering a generous gift. A gift that will be matched 22 times. – It’s incredible. Visit fh.org/dinner to give now. – To learn more about Dinner Conversations visit dinner-conversations.com. – And while you’re there,
check out our Season One DVD with all of our past episodes
and some bonus stuff, as well as check out these cool show mugs. – Yeah. So when we have our next conversation you can have coffee with us. Let’s get back to the conversation. (melodic music) – In my experience with you, there’s been a lot of openness to people. I do see that in your life
and our interactions together. It’s something I hope
for my own life to be… To have an openness to
be able to receive people and have the capacity to
receive them where they are, no strings attached. That’s the sign language for
that, no strings attached. Do you feel like there’s something that caused that openness or created or curated that openness in you to allowing people to just be who they are in your company? – Well, I guess, first
off is you try to provide for other people what you
hope to be provided for you. And it does go through my head a lot, if I were that other person, what would I just long
to be extended to me? And then my mom and dad, they were just… They were gracious, and I
would even say probably shy. But I mean, neither one of my parents would like command a room
when the crowd came in and oh, here goes my dad
telling his favorite stories. Mm-mm, no. But their door was always open. And so you know, I think that
I absorbed from my parents. And I think it’s important, through life, we sort of figure out,
oh, well, it’s important to close the door sometimes. All those, just the swing
of appropriate boundaries, appropriate everything. But you don’t usually learn something until you do it the wrong
way, and I have done… Yeah, whatever I’ve done right, I’ve done as many things wrong. (laughing) I was thinking about some
amazing things have happened because I risked and opened the door. And some incredible
things have gone wrong. And sometimes at great financial cost. And the only thing I… When my kids are getting
involved in something, if they’re working with other people, I just go, people are messy. People are messy. Family’s messy. But if you just go, well, you know… I mean, I really believe that
our ultimate fulfillment here and feeling like we’re
living a meaningful life, I think it has everything to do with how we connect with other people. Especially need and surplus. So whatever side of the fence you’re on, you’re part of a really
important dynamic equation that will bring a
heightened sense of purpose to your own life. And so because that’s been my experience, it has become my belief. And so you can’t… You just always, you know… I mean, years ago when my kids were tiny and Mary Chapman, Gary’s
mom, taught me a prayer that I still pray every morning. And it’s, God, lead me today to those I need and those that need me, and let something I do
have eternal significance. And she said, “Now you’ll
never know what that is.” – Yeah. – And so it’s funny
because my daughter Corrina is a senior in high school, and we have traded that
prayer back and forth. I can’t believe it, I can’t believe… I mean, even when she’s like… When we’re not getting along
great or there’s tension, we’ve not broken that. And sometimes we say it
with a foreign accent, sometimes we say it with a dance move, but it’s always that same thing. I had so many early flights
on my last work trip and one of them I… (gasps) It was crazy early and
I was on mountain time and I went, oh my gosh, she’s
about to get in the car. And I just went, lead
me today, dot dot dot. And we finished the prayer via text. Of course, I’m like,
please don’t be driving. (laughing) – Yeah, right, right. – But you know, I just… I mean, she’ll figure her life out, but I did think, I wonder when she’s walking out of her apartment
or when she has a toddler, I wonder. I am so crazy about all my kids. She’s the only one that I was not sort of in damage control following
a divorce because my… Matt, Milly, and Sarah
were 11, nine and six when Gary and I split up. And so for all the things that were… I mean, everything had changed. So we were… That was not… That was, you know. – Not easy. – It’s not easy. It’s not easy even when
people seem to find a different kind of stability later. It’s about a 10-year tunnel. Five years going in,
five years coming out. To have that chance to just
not be so laden with guilt. And then to go, hey, guess what, teenagers get mad at your parents anyway, even if it’s not because
you had a divorce. (laughing) They’re just mad. (laughing) And then I’d be like, this is fantastic. – Maybe I didn’t do everything wrong. – [Amy] Yeah, yeah. – Yeah, I think it’s cool,
the full circle of life. Even you talking about
that you pray a prayer. – I love that prayer. – That Gary’s mom– – [Amy] Taught me. – Taught you. And you’re now teaching
it to your daughter that you and Vince had. I mean, do you think about that sometimes? How cool, how gracious
is life, and generous, to extend that kind of
grace, I just think. – And that divorce time, that was tough. I mean, on your career and reputation. I mean, wasn’t it, for a while? But you survived it. – Yeah. Honestly, when you’re going
through something like that, the list of things that matter, career and reputation
are not even on the list. When you’re going through it, uh-huh. It’s kinda somebody trying
to escape a house fire and wondering if their makeup looks good. – Oh wow, that’s brilliant. – [Amy] Just different. The good news– – Some would check it. As they’re exiting. (Andrew laughs) – That’s not real. – Hold that smoke! (laughing) – Yeah. – What’s the good news? – What was the good news? – Well, I was just gonna say,
life has a lot of chapters. And this last summer we were… It was a day of day
camp, so I host two weeks of day camp at our
farm, Barefoot Republic. And then we provide sort
of additional activities because it’s a farm– – Did you say Barefoot Republicans? – Mm-hmm. Barefoot Republic, it’s a camp. – Oh okay. – For kids. – [Mark] I didn’t know the name of it. – Anyway, we have about 300
people that are there every day, and my cousin actually does the cooking, but she had a couple of
days when she couldn’t. So that is a lot of
cooking for these kids. So months ago I find
myself with the opportunity to go to Billy Graham’s funeral. And I go by myself, catch a
5:45 flight out of Nashville. I get there, it’s a little
bit of a cattle call, but trying to get… You know, I find a seat, and by then, I’ve seen some familiar faces. But I was not familiar with
the two people next to me. But it was freezing cold,
and so we’re all kinda snuggled together and talking, and it was Cindy and Bubba
Cathy from Chick-fil-A. And we’re just talking, and I said, “This might be so incredibly
opportunistic and gauche, “but is there any chance
that you would help me “feed 300 children at my farm? “One day a week for two weeks.” And they said yes. And you know, I thought, why not ask? – Yeah, I love that. – And the day that they came to the farm was one of the days when
Vince came by the camp because camping is not his thing. If he’s gonna sweat, it’s gonna have to be working at a good score of 18 holes. He’s a golfing man, but he’s not… And he doesn’t even come
out to camp every year. I think he’s been twice in four summers. But this particular day, Bubba
and Cindy were both there. And then Vince came out. I
was like this is fantastic. And Bubba brought us a
ukulele, and he’s singing songs and all the kids are around. And I said this camp is
really about reconciliation between the haves, the have nots, racial reconciliation,
cultural reconciliation. It’s kinda good when there’s clashes because then we go, well, now
here’s how we reconcile. – [Mark] We talk about it. – Talk about it, approach all that stuff. Anyway, we’re sitting there talking, and I’m so glad that they
had a chance to meet Vince. And then in comes a car
and rolls the window down, and it’s Gary Chapman, my ex-husband. And he was doing something
else with Matt at the farm, and it felt, after all these
years, like such a gift, to do the hard work of reconciliation. Which can happen even in a divorce. – Even where? – Even in a divorce. – Yes. – And so I think people can say I don’t know that I can
do the long haul here in the context of marriage. But choose your context, it’s
still about reconciliation. And so that has been, you know… I didn’t know that was
gonna be part of my journey, any of it. – Sure, yeah. – But now, you know
it’s funny ’cause you… You can’t listen to
another conversation and go there are a thousand ways
that you could live this day. (melodic music) – Dinner Conversations
is brought to you by Food For The Hungry, a relief
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literally help save lives. – It’s an incredible opportunity we have, and I think of Jesus’
own words in Matthew 25, when He says, “What you have
done to the least of these, you have done unto Me.” So give today at fh.org/dinner. (melodic music) If I could see what the angels see Behind the walls, beneath the sea Under the avalanche, through the trees Gone would be the mystery If I could see If I could hear what angels hear The thunderous sound of a crashing tear Holy, holy in my ear I’d never doubt that God is near If I could hear I’d see that love will conquer hate There’s always hope, it’s not too late I’d find the truth is easy to believe If I could see If I could know what angels know That death’s goodbye is love’s hello And spirits come and spirits go I feel them but they never show If I could know If I could stand where angels stand Watch this world while God commands And see how love designed this plan Reminders on His feet and hands I’d see that love will conquer hate There’s always hope, it’s not too late I’d find the truth is easy to believe If I could see If I could hear If I could know There’s nothing to fear If I could stand If I could see Maybe that’s finally eternity If I could see what angels see Behind these walls to you and me And let the truth set me free I’d live this life differently If I could see I’d see that love will conquer hate There’s always hope, never too late I’d find the truth is easy to believe Just like sunlight shining on my face I’d feel the presence of Your grace I’d find the truth and finally be set free If I could see If I could see – We’re all just finding
our way, you know? – Yeah, yeah. Well, we’re all connected
to each other, we are. And years ago, in the
middle of personal upheaval, my brother-in-law, who was
at the time my manager also, Dan Harrell. He said, “Just as soon as you can stop
stoking that fire of anger, “do because we’re all gonna
be at the same banquet table. “Just a heads up.” – Ooh. – And he was talking about, obviously, on the other side of this life. But it made me… (laughing) It just made me think about some tables that my family has been a part of. (laughing) Yeah. – I think we’re gonna be
surprised when we get home, how full it is. I think Jesus wins. – Oh gosh, yeah. – I just believe it. I think we’re gonna be surprised. – Well, I know my mom’s face, right as she was
breathing her last breath. And my mom, she knew a lot
of beautiful things in life, and she knew a lot of tragedy as well. Anyway, but she loved everything
that had to do with God, everything that had to do with Heaven, everything that had to do with Jesus. I mean, I have so many unread books that she gave me, so many… And she would even say, “I must
sound like a broken record.” But she said, “The older
I get and the things that “I have lost the capacity to
do and the ability to do,” She said, “That faith frontier
just gets more exciting.” And so I was like, “Mom, have
at it. I’m captive audience, talk all you want.” But as far as just being probably the most verbal person of faith I was consistently around my entire life. – Your mother? – [Amy] Was my mother. – I’d love to have met her. – Anyway, but at that
moment, like she had not really had much interaction
for about 36 hours. And three of us were with her right before she took her last breath and
we were singing a little bit, and of course we were choked up. And all of a sudden, I
don’t think she really even looked around at anything or anybody for about a day and a half. And her eyes flew open, and
she had a look on her face, like she was a four and a
half year old at Disney World and there were no lines. – [Mark] Wow. – I mean, it was so incredible. I grabbed for my iPhone, and
just held it above her face. I don’t even know that I knew how to… And just… – Did you get it? Any of ’em turn out alright? – Yeah, I did. You know, it was a slight fade by then. Because the thing that
made me grab it was just, just what I saw. But I mean… – She saw something, huh? – It changed the way I feel about death. I mean, I’m so sad when somebody dies early and all the lives that are
changed, all the lives. The way it was is over,
and there is a new chapter, for everybody, whenever somebody leaves. But I just can’t, with a straight face, say that it’s all bad. ‘Cause it’s not. – Yeah. I remember being in Nicaragua,
and these women who were in the depths of what we
consider poverty, right? Amazing how un-impoverished
their hearts were compared to mine. And she said that the reason
we can be friends is because… Or the reason that we have a connection and don’t even know each other
or speak the same language, she says, is because God is a wild frontier with no boundaries and no borders. – Yeah. – That’s beautiful. – And I think that’s
what we’re entering into, you know, the fullness of that. It’s just that wild frontier. It’s pretty cool. – Well I’ve loved watching
your journey, it’s been fun, and interesting, and calming. There is a real wisdom with
you, that God has given you, Chaz and I have talked about it too. Isn’t he funny? – Yes. (laughing) – But no, God has really
gifted you with a… Even with the Women of Faith, there’s just this calm spirit. Are you that way with your kids? Do you ever scream? – Well, my mother was not a screamer. I’ve screamed probably. I bet
it’s been a handful of times. – Oh, really? – Yeah. – My mother was a screamer. – I think it’s genetic. – Is it? – Really? It’s just natural or not. – I’m just saying, if you
were brought up by a screamer, you’re probably gonna be a screamer. – I tell you something
that’ll make me scream. Let’s go back to you
saying you visiting Boston while Vince is with The Eagles. I just freak out about that. (laughing) When I first heard, I was
like, are you kidding me? That’s a good life right there. That’s a good way to be present. – That’d be a good mic drop. – Yeah, it would. – Thank you for being with us. – Sure, yeah. – Would you eat now? – Yes. I sleep with a good guitar player. (laughing) – [Mark] What did she say? – [Andrew] I sleep with
a good guitar player. (laughing) – [Mark] That’s funny. – [Andrew] Yes, ma’m. – [Mark] Yes, you do. – Wow, I am not… – Amy Grant. OK. – Baby, baby. – Are we done? – We’re done. – I gotta pee. (laughing) Oh, sweet, sweet Amy. Wasn’t that a great episode? I hope you enjoyed that. – You can find more of Amy’s
music, so much of her music, through our Amazon affiliate link in our episode descriptions. – And if you wanna binge watch all of Season Two of Dinner Conversations, you can do that right now on Amazon Prime. – So thanks for watching
Dinner Conversations with… – Mark Lowry. – And Andrew Greer. – Yeah. Turning the light on. – One question at a time. (laughing) (melodic music)

About the author

Comments

  1. Yea,that's the other thing..it seems like all a y'all in the heart land are all in showbiz in some way. My turning point to gospel was the sound track from the movie "The Apostle. " Steven Curtis Chapman had the single"I will not lie down"

  2. Sorry to change the subject. I just saw the post for the 2nd Christian massacre in.a week. Nigeria, have you seen that news feed. Isaw tjat your public Facebook pave was not accessible message wise(little dense on my part). What's your input. I think we're all goin to meet Jesus sooner than we thought.

  3. Dinner Conversations is a gift. It feels like we’re sitting at the table with you, listening to the conversation firsthand. Would that it were so! That would be such a blessing!

  4. I'm suffering a brain disconnect listening to Amy talk about her grandchildren. lol. I'm having difficulty believing she's old enough to be a grandparent.

  5. Another great show with Amy Grant I really enjoyed her part in the conversation. What caught my ear was the interaction between Andrew and Mark about loss. I lost my sister, then mom and dad and for each one, I had my cry, then turned to help others in their grief. That is how I was raised. I miss them but don't grieve them, I look forward to what God has in store.

  6. Amy's comments on peace, reconciliation and community are incredibly important. She knows obviously what she is talking about.

  7. wow,..Mark,..this was the best of the best. You said it well. She has a calm that is contagious,..what a gift to the world. Thankyou for this episode

  8. The question at 18:33… Straight Ahead from 1984 has a song called The Now & the Not Yet. As you all were talking, I thought of that song 🙂

  9. What a lovely bit to show up on my Youtube timeline! Thank you for coloring my morning today. Amid all the political craziness, it is really good to hear solid truth and love. I would love to sing with you folks someday. I believe I will, on the other side of the veil, if not before….I feel so good about watching this. Things are changing in my life, and this episode helped me stop and take a breath.

  10. A lovely conversation that I needed to hear. I am a fulltime caregiver for both my elderly parents and my mother has dementia. Thank you for sharing your experiences on YouTube so we who are of low income can be blessed with helpful insight.

  11. Dealing with this very similar topic, so blessed by this conversation with Amy Grant…. He "became her husband again and not her caretaker, and that needs to be separate…" 💖

  12. Hands down this was THE best interview/conversation I have ever heard with Amy. I have been a fan of her music and of her as a person for 30 years now, and this was amazing. Thank you!

  13. Wonderful, wonderful conversation! The concept of giving the loved one "a little push" struck home with me. No matter what the person's condition, they hear everything that is said in the room, never forget that! My father suffered a head injury and unexpectedly hung on for two weeks. When we were alone, I let him know specifically how my siblings and myself were taking care of Mom, and our plans to care for her in the future. He seemed to relax and within 24 hours he passed on.
    My mom had a stroke and caught a terrible flu from the nursing home to which she was transferred. She ended up in ICU. We had an appointment with hospice the next day, as she was still getting IVs. I knew she didn't want to suffer, and she could understand everyone, even though she couldn't speak. The hospital chaplain and I prayed with her. I told her many times how much I love her, I prayed with her, and talked about how wonderful heaven is in as many different ways as I could, and that she would see Daddy again. The next day at 12:20 am she passed away on the most fitting day: Good Friday. Two days after Easter, was a loving and grace filled celebration of her life and her love of Jesus!
    I miss her for myself, but I'm happy for her. And as Andrew said, while I serve my purpose here, I pine for the day I finally get to go home and made whole, joined together as one.

  14. Great conversation with Amy. She is a bright star to us all. Thank you for helping to illuminate her brilliance with these important topics about death, family, redemption and a fresh perspective about our own strengths that we bring to a fulfilling life with Jesus. Bless you both.

  15. Mark, I understand 'not grieving', when my husband went home, I felt relief that he was no longer suffering, and I had so much peace and was rejoicing about Who he was seeing and being reunited with his family who had gone before him. He loves the Lord so much and he's with Him. Plus the Lord is so much with me, it's awesome!!!? Who could grieve with Him being with you in a powerful way??!!

  16. She was Christian when Christian wasn't cool! I've been an Amy fan for decades, riding along beside her as I navigated my college years listening to her first albums. What a ride it has been. Kinda like this interview. She is hard to follow as she discusses one thing and then leads into another, talking in analogies and quotes requiring a large amount of deciphering. It's exhausting. (Or maybe I'm just not much of an intellectual, which is VERY possible). Anyway, she's a writer and that is what writers do, I guess. Good luck, Amy, in the next chapter of your life. You were a faithful, loving daughter and you deserve every happiness. God bless you and your family.

  17. Absolutely one of the best "shows" I have ever watched! Better than Daytime or Nighttime TV! When Amy is in the house everyone is better! She has such a way about her that is comforting and reasonable. She is an example of "peace". When I met Amy a few years ago, I was a nervous fan but she made me feel so wonderful. She said "we grew up together" (referring to our age and lives- not literally). And now my Mother has dementia and she is helping me to deal with this in my life. Thank you all so much! This was great!

  18. I am almost 85–And I have 24 great grandchildren, and when you have little ones–like my 4 year old and my 7 year old grands, it is hard to think about out living your mind. They sort of keep me going.

  19. I thoroughly enjoyed that. Both conversations helped me in the current chapter of my life…dealing with death and aging parents. Thank you.

  20. Wow!! What a blessing this was!!! Thank you so much for sharing! I can relate to having a parent with dementia and going though a divorce.. hardest days of my life so far. But so thankful for the hope we have in Our Lord and savior Jesus Christ❤️😇

  21. This was a wonderful show. Have always loved Amy Grant. Such a gracious and faith filled woman.

  22. 52:32 & ff re reconciliation. I wonder how Amy reconciles the fact that the Cathys actively work against LGBTQ rights through donating to anti-LGBTQ groups. Even after they said they were going to 'leave that to the government.' https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/3/21/18275850/chick-fil-a-anti-lgbtq-donations

  23. Ok – so I'm either not as weird as I thought I was, or I'm as weird as Mark. You are the first person I've ever heard to publicly articulate the same type of approach to grief as I have. When my mother passed away, she had been an invalid for 15+ years due to MS; then she was dancing in heaven (and finding out it's ok to dance!). What's there to grieve about that? It was probably six months before I shed a tear, and then it was because a my eyes met those of a passenger in a funeral motorcade and emotion just came pouring out. But once it was done, it was done. There are worse things than dying, so I'm all good with it whenever the Lord sees fit to call me home. Great conversation guys!

  24. Thank you enjoyed the conversation. Amy Grant is and always has been a woman of Faith and graciousness. What you see is what you get. She is an amazing person. Fan for over 30 years…and counting. What a Great Mom she is to her children and extended children. To hold camp for 300 children..what a commitment that is. God Bless Amy , Vince and family ❤Love you!

  25. I'm defiantly a ( Tree Nut ) too Amy!! This was so awesome! i felt like i was there with her and I thank you. When i lost my dad (2015) I felt the same. I was his primary care. I lived with him and was his aide day and night. He had Cancer not Dementia though. But as with Amy, when he passed, I felt like i could travel now, got to the store , go for a walk in the park etc and not feel i had to rush back. Not that he was a burden at all, I felt and still feel i was blessed to be in the situation where i could take of my Dad and will be ever so grateful for that!

  26. My mother was born in Rutherford county. My grandfather was a sawmiller and singing school teacher who raised his own sawmill crew and gospel singing group wish he was here to here his wonderful fellow NC singers but one day they will get to hear each other sing. They migrated from Sunshine, NC through Georgia into Alabama. They were Toneys. There story was very much like, The Waltons

  27. Haha Mark .. I needed some laughter and some peace. You offered both. Thank you so much. Wonderful interview.

  28. I've followed/listened to Amy since she was an "artist" at the old Jesus NW concerts way back when….  It was when she first came out and only had one album out at the time.

  29. My Father died on Dec1,2018 of dementia. I missed him when he was here. And I miss him now that he is gone. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony. God Bless you all! With a smile 🙂 Julie G

  30. Seeing her here I got confused about her age and had to Google it. It's hard to believe she's less than two years away from turning 60. She looks much younger.

  31. This was so good for me to watch tonight. My own mother is in the transition stage of of leaving us and meeting the Lord and it was a comfort to listen to Mark and Amy share their own experiences of losing their parents. Mark is so right. With Dementia, it certainly is like losing them already. Sometimes my mum knows who I am. Sometimes she doesn't.

  32. I lost my Grampa to Heart Failure and Dementia and it truly was the hardest thing to watch. I loved him so much and it still hurts so bad after 10yrs knowing I couldn’t do anything to help him. It broke my heart!

  33. It was ok, nothing to wow about. Sorry to say that, one instance worth remembering was your father's love for your mother. He was exhibiting sacrificial love, as God calls His people to do.

  34. I agree Mark, I want to go, I don't like pain! I am in my later 1/4 of life I am looking to going home peacefully.

  35. Thank you for sharing. When my father had dementia we use to call moments of happy times diamonds. We would visit dad and share our diamond moments with each other. Later mom died of a brain tumor. It was different but very similar. Dad had to be placed in a nursing home for my mother's safety. You are correct to say that your dad was able to then able to be a husband again. Mom was able to be a wife. When mom died we were able to keep her at home. If we could feel the love in heaven we would be jealous.

  36. I first heard Amy's music courtesy of my Mom, who was a big fan. That was sometime in the mid-to-late '80s, and I still love her songs. I was blessed to attend one of her Christmas shows with Michael W. Smith, in 2016.

  37. I Enjoyed the Conversations and can Totally Relate because My Mother has Dementia and I am Her Care Giver but Thankfully She is still Cognitive a lot of the Time. (Her Doctor Explains Dementia as example: If You Lose your Car Keys then that's OK but if You Lose your Keys and find the Keys but you don't remember what the Keys go too – then That is Dementia) PS. Everybody Loses their Car Keys but they don't have Dementia – Gospel Music is a real Blessing to my Mom and I – and We really Enjoy listening and Watching Amy Grant and The Gaithers Singing (We love Vince Gill too, – It is a real Blessing to us since we can not go to Church very often. Just want to mention the Song Title: "She still Remembers Jesus Name" – Sung by the Booth Brother's. Awesome Song!!! Thank You for Sharing this Video with us. We Love Amy Grant and Enjoyed Her Christmas CD this Past Year (I still have an old 33 Amy Grant Record and Tapes and I remember the Song "Giggle" and "His Fathers Eyes" Awesome Songs and Music in the 70s – I am the Same age as Amy – Thank You Amy for Your Years of Great Gospel Music. We Love You!!!) and We also Listen and Watch the Gaithers almost every day. You all have been a Great Blessing to Us. Thank You for Sharing Your Music and Laughter and Wonderful Singing to us. May God Bless You All as You Share the Good News of the Gospel in Song and Gods Word.

  38. I cared for my mom who had Alzheimer's for many years. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I am so glad I did. Truly, only God got us through it. I have lived alone for most of my adult life and when you live alone, you have no idea how selfish and self-centered you really are. To suddenly have to put someone else's needs first and love someone better than you love yourself is difficult at best and at worst, it's a cesspool of no sleep, impatience, resentment, depression, and guilt. I failed my mom many, many times, but I also cared for her better than anyone else could. There was laughter and joy mixed in with all the negative. If I learned anything, I learned that my mom had done her best in raising us. I wouldn't trade those years for anything. After my mom passed, people would say, "This is so sad! I'll bet you wish she's still here," and I'd laugh and say, "Are you kidding? My mom is dancing with Jesus right now! Her mind is clear as a bell and she's full of joy. Why would I want her back here to suffer more?"

  39. Aluminum is believed to be one of the major causative agents in brain degeneration and is found in brain tissue on autopsy of people with dementia diagnosis. All of the vaccines we currently receive have two forms of aluminum and mercury in the form of thimerosal as adjuvants. The purpose for these ingredients is to cause an inflammatory response which the pharmaceutical companies say will boost the effectiveness of the vaccine. Every autoimmune disorder has inflammation as a basis for the illness process. Just something to think about, along with the drastic increase in diseases of dementia and neurological disorders in our population.

  40. Big mistake Amy to divorce and remarry while you set an precedent that adultery is OK! I was never a fan after I learned of your adultery even as you proclaim to be God fearing! Your adulterated weak partner was lucky I was not the Husband! I would get physical.

  41. I lost My Mother From Breast Cancer,Also She suffered with dementia 😪😞She’s gone one year April 18,2018.I miss her so much😞But I know she is in a better place with the Lord.I been a full time caregiver for many years.My Mother had such a sweet spirit also singing and talking about the Lord,We had a true special bond.She touch others from Hospice and people who were visiting her.

  42. I remember Amy Grant,😊💕What aspiration she is,I’ve listened to Amy Grant since I was a teenager.Now I’m over the hill at age 55yrs old.Therefore many years ago I saw her in concert.😊Amy thank you for your sweet voice and for your warmth and for the wonderful music.You bring.

  43. Mark and Andrew, these are superb videos and so encouraging as I sit and watch in Houston! I will get back to Nashville someday and hopefully can be a part. I used to shoot for CMT. Thanks for doing these and helping so many of us.

  44. I think as Christians we too easily accept these things as normal when they are not meant to be. Correct thinking and understanding who we are in Christ, right thinking living by the word of God and living from heaven will not open doors to any sickness and disease. We need to change out thinking and start living in the fullness and wholeness of our identity as sons and daughters of God. Choose life!

  45. Is that Amy Grant now? I remember her as a high school kid coming up to Faith Center in Eugene, Oregon (Pastor Roy Hicks, Jr.) when she had "big hair" (curly) and she stuck in my mind singing something about "bubbling, bubbling, bubbling." Of course I remember her for "El Shaddai" and "My Father's Eyes." She's making me feel old.

  46. Mark, it's amazing how you mom can forget so much but the song she wrote she knew every note and line. It's as if she grew to be a child yet hold on to what really mattered in life. Only the life we have in Christ.

  47. WHY NOT FEED THE HOMELESS IN THE UNITED STATES AND FIX THE HUNGER ISSUE IN THE STATES RATHER THAN FEEDING THE HUNGER ISSUES IN OTHER COUNTRIES..

  48. I just watched this and it was very enjoyable!! Thank-you very much for this wonderful interview with Amy Grant! I have never heard of your show before so I am so happy to come across this today, great interviewing on both your parts, take care and God Bless.

  49. Thank you for sharing yourself, Amy. I have loved your music for years, and now I adore you as well. Thank you. You are loved.

  50. My mom is in the last stage of Alzheimer's. She was always the one who was the life of the party, organized family reunions, daycare worker at church, foster mom, and adoptive mom to me and my sister. Daddy is caring for her now and it is so hard on him to see the light disappear from her eyes, coming to terms with not hearing her sweet voice like he used to and having to help her do everything. We already lost 2 family members and a really good friend to this awful disease. Another family member has ALS and is very quickly declining. I miss my mom even though she is still alive.

  51. What a blessing to listen to your interview with Amy. My dad is dealing with dementia now too and it's good to hear this conversation. During your conversation a couple of you spoke out the most gorgeous Hook…"A Double Goodbye". What a hook! The three of you aughta write that song, if you haven't already. How I wish I knew y'all and could join you on a co-write, because that is seriously an amazing hook. Years ago, when I was last able to visit Nashville, I was privilaged to meet Amy once at Third and Lindsey during Tin Pan South when she was singing there. Vince was sitting at the bar watching a golf game and no one could tell where he was till the end of the show, when Amy pointed him out, and it turned out he was right behind me. Everyone there swarmed around him once he stood up after the show, but I went straight to Amy and we talked songwriting for a few minutes. She was truly the most gracious person I've ever talked to in the songwriting world. Thank you Amy and Thank you Mark and Andrew for these engaging dinner conversations and caring for the poor. Just one request…Can you share the recipes of what you eat during your luncheon's?

  52. Amy Grant on the comment that she lost her dad 'twice' to dementia, "Well that first good-bye's long and slow…' Well said-such truth. We are losing my dad to Alzheimer's, it is such a terrific tragedy to watch him slowly drift away. What a blessing your dad (and mom) had in you and your sisters to care for him the way you did.❤

  53. Oh how I could relate to the part of the conversation of always waiting to be who God created me to be… oh the longing to be Home and be ALL Yehovah God created me to be, but also the longing to be more useful to Him while I'm here… and yes, the longing to see loved ones who've gone on before us… however they left this world.

  54. Andrew Greer is a dufus. He can't even talk about dementia without laughing? That's inappropriate and immature.

  55. I became saved due to Amy Grant her music and testimony really set me to seek a relationship with God. Thank you for having her on. My step mom has dementia and it has been hard on my dad. I use to work in geriatrics and more attention needs to be on this and help for care givers.

  56. My father had dementia for several years. It was heartbreaking to see a genius science teacher lose his mind. Two months before he died I was the only one to stay with him when Mom caught pneumonia so stayed in the hospital and rehab for 17 days. I was so sleep deprived because I had to stay alert to prevent him trying to leave the apt. The Lord’s daily grace kept me going. Hindsight has given me the attitude that it was a blessing because the Lord gave him one lucid moment when I had taken him to a dr appt. He tapped my hand and said, “Thank you, Karen, for taking good care of me.” I tearfully responded, “You are welcome. I love you.” We hugged and he said, “I love you too.” Then the lucid moment was over. The last two weeks of his life, he lost the ability to talk. Garbled yelling and pounding on his leg and then silence the last 2 days. I got the call the night before Easter. It was too late for me to drive an hr to be there, so I spent a half hr singing UNTIL THEN to be able to go back to sleep with peace in my spirit. Due to family not being able to attend a memorial service till two months later I prayed that all of those who would share their memories of Dad would be able to speak without crying, especially me. The Lord answered that prayer. Since I’m usually an emotional person, friends came up to me afterwards and remarked how amazing it was that I spoke clearly and even shared humorous memories. I told what I had prayed for and that the Lord gave me the strength. All my siblings and Mom shared that we were given peace because Dad was healed with his home-going to heaven! I pictured him singing praises to the Lord while he walked the streets of gold.

    Mom will soon be 95. She has done well living On her own I n the senior center this whole year. God is good!

  57. Is it just me or is the interview given by two homosexuals ? any if you don’t stand for something you fall for anything. Not the Amy I remember. Using Lords name in vain..OMG rolls of her lips so easily.

  58. THIS ARE NO CHRISTIANS!!! IS JUST ANOTHER SECULAR TV SHOW!! REAL CHRISTIANS ONLY TALK ABOUT GOD AND HOW TO OVERCOME THE WORLD THOUGH CHRIST BUT MOST OF ALL HIS HOLINESS!*!*!

  59. What about going to Puerto Rico to help them build a new life, as they are still suffering from natures furry in their country.

  60. IF ,,,,,THAT'S IT IT'S ALL SOMETHING WE'VE BEEN TOLD,,,,IT'S ALL OF ITS TRUE MAYBE IT IS MAYBE IT ISN'T ,,,,,,,,,IF. YOU SAID IT

  61. I begged the Lord not to return until I was able to get married; then I shifted the goal posts to "not before I am a father"; then it was "not until I am a grandfather"… bottom-line, He will return when He wants to! Hahaha haha…

  62. We have been caring for Mum with dementia for at least 5 years, the last 3 have been very heavy on the emotions. Dad became involved with Mum's care at their home but he ended up needing to be on oxygen around the clock, so we had carers come help Mum who is bladder and bowel incontinent. Dad and my sister and carers also have to wash and move Mum's position, feed Mum. What grieves me is Mum lost the instant short memory among the early things that went, then her body became less and less able. When her memory started robbing her she would go to say something or answer us and it would start a couple of introductory words then vanish like a vapour. So we didn't know and still don't know what she wants to say. Then last year over about 8 weeks Dad suddenly became unwell, needed care himself, bed baths etc and then he died July 2018. Mum went into Nursing home care and is still there. I grieve Dad and miss the opportunities I thought would happen when Mum went but he went first. Now Mum can't move other than her eyes, mouth, arms from elbow to finger tips. she can't use my name and hasn't now for 3 years, she can't squeeze my hand to let me know she cares and loves me, she can't kiss me in return for kissing her. I struggle to go see her as she is not the Mum I know, not who I can turn to. Just trying to write this or share with friends I start crying with such a deep ache in my chest. My own health, back, feet, shoulder issues has meant me not being able to help much in her care My sister has all her life been close to Mum with me on the outer edge of the family, she has physically , practically and emotionally invested, committed herself to Mum at home and in the nursing home. I feel useless, I cry as I leave Mum, I cry off and on for days after seeing her, I cry even not seeing her. My sister doesn't connect with me, really care about me, she is so hard and abrupt with me no matter what I try to talk about yet she is so tender towards Mum. My own children never visited my parents, they rarely even contact me or show they care and love me so I have living family yet struggle on my own in so many ways. While I love the Lord I struggle to understand why He has allowed so much struggle in my life as a child, a teen. an adult , in my marriage/separation, my children and even being kept at a very distant relationship with my two grand daughters age 4 and age 5. Mum is 81, I'm 53, my children are 29 and 32. I live in Australia on a disability welfare pension so financially I have a hard time with basic living so I have nothing financially to give family or charities. I am grateful I get to see these videos and Mark, Chonda, Amy and many others for free on Youtube so thank you for speaking to me via the internet.

  63. I am going through this now. My mom moved up with us in 2017 after refusing for 6 years (after my dad's passing). Her dementia is still in the early stages but so much of who she was is already gone. I appreciate knowing others have or are going through what I am experiencing. Plus, I've adored Amy Grant since 1980. Thanks – this interview was great!

  64. divorce is reconciliation music business just aint what it used to be when the folks just aint all that talented in the first place then it all sets in wow we dont have nothing to sell

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