The Most Important Key to Marriage (and It’s Not Just Love) // Dave Scharf // Time of Grace

Yesterday we saw how God brought Adam and Eve together
as husband and wife. Immediately following that account, the next verse in the Bible gives us three ingredients for marriage. Principles that will set a firm
foundation under a marriage. The verse goes like this, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. And the two will become one flesh.” And I just want to walk
through that passage and pull out those three ingredients. So the first thing the passage says is that a man will leave
his father and mother. In other words, husband and
wife are going to leave behind, or refocus, all those other
relationships in their lives. So for husbands, your priority structure is changed. Same with wives. It now goes, God and then spouse and then children and then everyone else, including friends and
family, even parents. So for husbands, when you your friends want to go
out on a Friday night, it’s not just automatically going to be that you go out on a Friday night. You have a new priority structure. And of course, wives are so often wanting their husbands
to have that time with friends. So, very often, they will have no
problem with you going out with them. Very quickly, husbands, you’ll learn which “Sure” means yes and which
“Sure” means you better stay home. And for wives, it means that since your priority structure is changed, your mother can no longer be the main marriage counselor, or marriage
counselor for your marriage. First of all, think how awkward that is for your husband if your mother knows all of the dirty laundry. And secondly, since your
husband is now number two, second only to God in your life, you owe it to him to try to work out
those issues together as a couple. And of course, if you can’t, there are marriage counselors and there are pastors
that you can talk to. So, the first key is that husband and wife
will leave behind or refocus all those other
relationships in their lives. The second one is this. The passage says, “A man will
leave behind his father and mother and be united to his wife.” So, both the man and
the woman will commit to each other by joining as a unit. Well, when does that happen? Well, that happens on your wedding day. When you make that promise in
front of God and everyone else that you are going to remain husband
and wife for the rest of your lives. Now, anyone who’s been
married for more than a day will be able to answer this question. When you are united as a unit on your wedding day, do you
have marriage figured out? No. And that’s why the third
key is so important. Both the man and the woman, it says, will leave his father
and mother, be united to his wife, and the two
will become one flesh. So, both the husband
and the wife will commit to becoming one flesh. To a lifetime of growing in unity which often involves unselfish compromise. So, did you catch the essence of
marriage in those three ingredients? Maybe you’ll catch it if I say
them all quickly, all in a row. So, both the man and the
woman commit to each other by leaving behind, or refocusing, all those relationships in their lives. Both the man and the woman commit
to each other by joining as a unit. And both the man
and the woman commit to a lifetime of growing in unity. Did you catch it? It’s love – no, it’s commitment. The essence of marriage is commitment. And there are a ton of keys to commitment. I mean, it takes hard work. It takes priority
It takes love. It takes respect. It takes growth in God’s Word. But the most important
key to commitment is seeing how totally
committed God is to you as husband and wife. Jesus never gave up on your salvation. But he loved you all the way to a cross. And he still loves you today. He always loves, he always forgives, he always says, “I’m
not giving up on you.” Now that’s commitment. Let’s pray. Dear Jesus, You committed
to winning our salvation and now guiding us home to Heaven. Use your total commitment to inspire us. To commit to one another. As husbands and wives. Amen. Today we talked about
commitment in marriage. And we said that that is
the essence of marriage. On the day that you,
as husband and wife, were joined together as a unit, you made that commitment. Now, what do you remember
most about that day? Comment below and
share it with all of us. God’s blessings
on your day.

About the author


  1. Commitment you hit the nail on the head. Jesus helps us do that keep him 1st and your commitment to your spouse comes easy.

  2. With him being gone
    We had a beautiful wedding
    And a2 wkhoneymoon
    Chuck and I grow as a couple
    Everyday we love the lord
    Continue everyday to bless his holy name

  3. In other words if your parents are control freaks cut them off. Wonderful advice glory to Jesus. Also this is why we need the freedom dividend so more people can move out of their parents houses

  4. Amazing man! This really helped me out!๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ Blessings.

    Much Love,
    From one of your supporters, Giancarlos'Stacks'Hernandez, out here in Central Florida, (Co-Owner of KQ 93.7FM/Producer/Radio Personality & Humanitarian on the rise)๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผโค

    Snapchat: StacksNotorious
    YouTube Subscribe:
    Giancarlos Stacks Hernandez
    Instagram: StacksOficial
    Facebook: Giancarlos Hernandez

  5. One day I gotta move out of my parents' house to live with that one person for the whole of my life! but for now, I still gotta enjoy this time with my parents.

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