The Pattern and Purpose for Marriage – Pastor Daniel Batarseh


Ephesians 5:31, therefore, a man shall
leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall
become one flesh this mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers
to Christ and the church let’s pray father we believe that this day is the
Lord’s Day we believed Lord that you are to be revered this morning and we come
to receive from you we come with undivided hearts low we come with minds
that are fully attentive and we pray that you would speak to your people Lord
we believe that as soon as this word is open it is declared in one way or
another that you are speaking and so Lord give us the ears to hear what the
Spirit says to the churches what we long for you to change us and we need your
help and so Lord as we continue in the series on marriage would you heal
marriages in this place would you redirect marriages would you sanctify
marriages Lord for those that are engaged would you inspire them and move
them towards a certain direction and Lord for those who are single this is
not irrelevant to us but law we just pray that it would motivate us to
prepare for that season in life and to realize that this season itself is
important in light of what we’re hearing this morning we give you praise and
glory in Jesus name Amen you may be seated the past couple of
weeks we have been discussing the foundational roles that a husband and a
wife ought to operate in as individuals who are brought together in holy union
under God and so if you were here for the past couple weeks you’ve been
hearing about the role of a wife you’ve been hearing the role of a husband but
we have to understand that these commands are given to these specific
roles because our sin nature pulls us into a different direction the flesh
cannot please God and the mind that is set on the flesh does not submit to
God’s law indeed it cannot and so when we see
why these commands are given it’s because our flesh wants to go in the
actual opposite direction and so we need to be told because of God’s wisdom and
because of his standard what to do in light of marriage as individuals in a
relationship but listen these Commandments be reminded of this these
Commandments are given to us as guardrails to guide couples to walk on
the pathway of God’s divinely ordained blueprint for marriage and here’s what I
wants you guys to understand that God has given us a pattern for marriage and
if a couple will honor God’s pattern they will walk in his purpose and when
they walk in his purpose they will experience his pleasure let me say that
again God has given us a pattern if you and I
choose to submit to that prescription we will walk in his purpose and when you
and I choose to walk in his purpose you will experience his pleasure and we
have a pattern here for marriage and if there’s a title for this teaching it’s
gonna be more teaching and preaching so you better hold on to your Bibles
because we’re going to different texts this morning if there is a title for
this message it is God’s pattern and purpose for marriage God’s pattern and
purpose for marriage what is God’s pattern for marriage what
is his prescription what is his idea of what a marriage should look like well it
can be summarized in the very verse that we just read verse 31 of Ephesians
chapter 5 what is Paul doing here the Apostle Paul is reaching back all the
way to the beginning he’s going all the way back to Genesis 2:24 where God
Himself gave these very same instructions of what marriage ought to
be but it’s not just Genesis 2:24 we have Jesus in Matthew 19 himself who
echoes the very thing that is uttered in Genesis and here we have Paul I think
that’s a vital observation why because in a culture that tries to convince
people that because the times have changed there is a new definition or a
new pattern for marriage that is acceptable we have another testimony in
fact brothers and sisters be encouraged by this that you have Moses who wrote
Genisys you have Jesus himself and you have the Apostle Paul that stand by this
very same standard and they lived in different times as well they lift and
they lived in a time with different philosophies and ideas as well but they
chose to stand firm by what God has said and you and I must do the same doesn’t
matter what the culture is pushing doesn’t matter what people are saying
doesn’t matter what thoughts are being developed we have the Apostle Paul here
living in a very similar culture to us very sexually confused very sexually
crazy actually but he himself is standing firm on what God has
established from the beginning and you and I must do the same so we see here
that a man and a woman according to verse 31 in marriage looks like this a
man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two
shall become one flesh you’ve probably heard that more than
once if you grew up in the church but do we really know what that means and if
you really read this verse carefully what you will see is three elements in
that reality there’s three parts to the pattern of marriage in this verse alone
but before we dive into this let’s go back to the beginning let’s go to
Genesis 2 because there’s a crucial understanding to this before we dive
into this verse what Paul is echoing is Genesis 2:24 but before we go to Genesis
2:24 I want us to look at Genesis 2:21 as you are turning there I want you to
think about this when God created Adam when God created Adam who was the first
person that he saw you don’t have to answer that out loud who was the first
person that God allowed Adam to see or who Adam saw well it was God himself it
was God himself but now we come here to Genesis 2 verse 21 when we realized that
God has told himself and to us really that it’s not good for man to be alone
so he he creates woman and look what happens in verse 21 so the Lord God
caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and while he slept took one of his ribs
and closed up its place with flesh and the rib that the Lord God had taken from
the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man so here’s a second
question who was the first person that Eve saw it was not Adam it was God what
does that tell us about relationship it tells us this that your number one
relationship in life is God Adam first saw God Eve God first before they were
brought together by God why is that important to understand when we can when
we realize the pattern for marriage here’s the understand that though there
is a pattern for marriage and though there is a purpose for marriage your
life purpose is not marriage it’s not as vital and as much importance God places
upon a union and holy matrimony we see from the beginning that Adam was to
prioritize his relationship with God Adam and Eve’s the light purpose
identity pleasure all those things were rooted in the relationship with God
before one another if you change that order you will be extremely frustrated
not only in your relationship with your husband or wife but also in your
relationship with God and so here we even see that God allows Adam to see
himself he didn’t create them at the same time and he takes Eve even when he
creates Eve with Adam on the scene he does something else with her outside of
that and he allows her to see him before he brings them together
the first person in your life is Jesus Christ always as exciting and as
thrilling and as life-giving marriages it does not replace your relationship
with the Lord now we come to this verse it says here in verse 24 a man shall
leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife there are some obvious
things that we have to read here it does not say that men will leave and there
will be wives it is a man and wives it doesn’t say wife and men one man one
woman what else do we see does it say male will leave male or male will meet
with male or female will meet with female know a male and a female
I hope those things are non negotiables this is foundational understanding we
know that there is a man who leaves his wife or rather Lisa’s parents comes to
meet with his wife and cleave to her but now we have to understand what this
actually means as we break it down the first part is understandable here
therefore a man shall leave his father and mother this part tells us something
concerning relationship then another in order for a foundation to be built there
must be a separation from a different kind of relationship in order for
something to start anew there needs to be this decision made by the man and the
woman to separate from something in which they are so familiar with not only
familiar probably the closest relationship that they’ve known their
whole lives and that is with their parents and so it just makes sense in
order for you to start a new home you need to leave your home and if that’s
not honored what will happen is you will not experience the fullness and the
freedom of what your relationship should look like there’ll be a lot of
frustration there will be a lot of challenges there will be a lot of
butting heads in that and so God is giving us an understanding here if you
want to start a new foundation you have to leave and separate yourself from
something that you have been living with your whole life and so there has to be
that separation and this is obvious here that this is a physical separation this
is something in which you have to remove yourself from in order to join yourself
to something new but here’s the reality there’s so many people who separate
themselves physically from their parents or family but they don’t separate
themselves fully they don’t separate themselves fully
what I mean by that that a man can leave his parents physically but not
emotionally a woman can leave her family physically but not emotionally and so
you might have a wife that joins a husband and they’re starting a new home
and they’re in a new place but the wife still honors her mother’s word or her
father’s word above her husband’s she brought that into the relationship or
you might have a husband who left his family his parents but it’s still more
emotionally involved and invested in his parents or family than his wife and
neglects her emotionally and so there has to be this internal separation as
well that I am now making an investment into this other person she has the
relational priority of my life she has the relational priority in my life now
why does it say that a man shall leave does that mean that a man is the one who
moves if there’s a moving decision not necessarily what it does mean is that
the man now is understanding it as he’s making this decision he is not going to
rely on his parents to be the protector and provider of his new relationship he
is taking that upon himself he is he is stepping into that responsibility as he
is stepping into this relationship and men who are single if you want to step
into a relationship you better have this in mind you better realize that you are
now stepping into a whole nother standard of living you’re stepping into
an OLE a whole other responsibility and God ask of you because of his wisdom and
knowing what a relation should look like that you are not to be dependent upon
your parents you are to take that upon yourself as a man and so the reason why
man is mentioned here is because the weight falls on him concerning
responsibility initiative and leadership so men shall leave
a man shall leave but that doesn’t mean that you disown your parents it doesn’t
mean you don’t communicate with them all it means is that this person now has
priority in your life in every aspect of life many marriages are extremely
frustrated because of this simple rule and we’ve talked about that
in light of the last two messages but here we’ve seen God echoing it again a
man shall leave his father and mother and do what goes to the next part of the
pattern here hold fast to his wife or another translation cleave to his wife
so this is the second part what do we understand here that we’re before a man
was planning providing and protecting with himself in mind mainly and perhaps
his immediate family all of those things are now directed in love towards his
wife and where a woman before was deciding dreaming and delighting mainly
with herself in mine and perhaps her immediate family she now with honor lays
that down with delight before her husband and so what we see here is this
mutual surrender to one another and understanding that both these people now
are placing each other above all other human relationships and so significant
is marriage so significant has God uplifted this institution that it even
has somewhat of an effect on your relationship with the Lord now turn your
Bibles to first Corinthians 7 32 to understand what I’m saying here
first Corinthians 7 is a well-known passage concerning marriage there’s
principles for marriage here and if you’ve ever read first Corinthians 7 you
probably got this idea from Paul that he’s not really a big fan of marriage
if you’ve read first Corinthians 7 you probably think to yourself I’m sure Paul
believes a marriage of a man he hears really pushing the singleness thing more
than anything and that might be the impression you get but there is one
verse that changes the whole context of 1st Corinthians 7 look at verse 26 he’s
giving advice in light of a circumstance that the Corinthians church is
experiencing what is he saying I think that in view of the present distress it
is good for a person to remain as he is there was something that the Corinthian
church was experiencing in which Paul was giving instruction and light of
perhaps it was persecution perhaps it was something that in his mind he knew
that listen as we’re gonna read in a moment marriage right now is probably
not something that you should pursue though I’m not putting this restrain on
you I’m giving you some wisdom in light of the circumstances that you’re
experiencing so remember that as you’re read 1st Corinthians 7
now we don’t completely separate ourselves from 1st Corinthians 7 because
of verse 26 because there are general truths of marriage yes in this chapter
that we have for all time but if you I’m saying this because you might get this
idea that Paul seems to be advocating that if you are single you’re more
spiritual and that’s not necessarily true
he’s writing in light of a specific circumstance and context in which he is
saying listen I’m giving you my advice I’m not putting restrain on you if you
have passion get married it’s better to have that than to commit fornication but
I’m telling you this that in this present time and he gives advice but yet
still there are general truths for all time for marriage here including verse
32 what does it say here I want you to be free from anxieties the unmarried man
is anxious about the things of the Lord how to please the Lord but the married
man is anxious about worldly things how to please his wife now when he’s saying
worldly he’s not talking about sinful he’s talking about earthly things
physical things and his interest verse 34 are divided and the unmarried or
betrothed woman is anxious of other things of the Lord how to be holy in
body and spirit but the married woman is anxious about
worldly things how to please her husband and so listen this is not again Paul
saying if you are single you’re more spiritual there are many married couples
in fact there are many men of God who are men of God because they have wives
who are a woman of God and who have been able to do much for God because they had
that support from their wives don’t get it twisted but what we do here is what
we see here is a general truth that when you are married God so sanctified
marriage he’s so elevated to a place of importance that even spiritual people
there is a division in interest now whereas before when you were sick
we’re gonna talk about the beauty of singleness sometime these weeks
there’s something about singleness in which you can give yourself to God to a
degree that you can’t when you’re mayor why because you have a ministry now in
marriage requires greater attention greater energy greater focus and what
he’s saying here is that those things are divided now it’s not sinful it’s not
wrong and nor is it less spiritual it’s just the reality of marriage and we have
to tie that in with Genesis 2:24 that when you give yourself to marriage you
have to keep that self you have to keep that in mind now my my interest in my
energy my focus is going to be given partly to this person you’re cleaving to
earth at the word there is almost like you’re glued to her you’re joining –
there’s a fusion that’s there now and which you are part of another person’s
life and they are part of yours and so much so that the Lord Himself even says
through the Holy Spirit that your your interest will be divided that your
attention will be divided that’s not necessarily wrong it’s just the reality
of marriage which gives you a little bit of a taste of what we’re gonna speak
about concerning singleness to take advantage of that season of your life
concerning your relationship with the Lord and this is where it comes back to
Genesis 2:24 – the last part of this pattern and the two shall become one
flesh the two shall become one flesh God’s pattern here highlights the
exclusive experience that is only or should be to be known within the
boundaries of marriage when he’s speaking about the two becoming one
flesh he is clearly speaking about the sexual union that is reserved for those
that are in holy matrimony for those who have given themselves in covenant
relationship to one another is this final pattern only to be experienced
with and this verse alone tells us important things in light of sexual
intimacy first thing it tells us that sex is God’s holy design sex is God’s
holy design do you realize that God had given this instruction Genesis 2:24
before the fall sex is not a result of faul many people believe that believe it
or not the pleasure the joy the the bonding power that is found in that act
is something that is a pre-fall reality so there’s a holy thing about that’s why
I believe when ministers speak about they should be very mature and reverent
so many people that tackle this subject are so flippant and they just want to
sound casual with it and even the Scriptures themselves when they speak of
these Acts they do so in a veiled manner they they want to keep it holy and
sacred because it is holy and sacred and unfortunately among so many Christians
you say that word and you’ve they feel dirty and they think it’s a dirty thing
when they don’t realize that it’s a pre-fall reality when god had said in
his creation process it is good it is good it is good it includes sexual
intimacy he didn’t say everything is good except that part that part is again
that’s kind of fleshly no he says it is good and we should as believers see it
as something that is good and one preacher said it this way we do not
think enough about sex not we do not think about sex enough that’s a
completely different understanding but we do not highly esteem this thing as
much as we should in fact if we really highly esteem it the way God does I’m
sure many people will be able to fight this temptation in a greater way the two
shall become one flesh this is sacred it is God ordained and like the rest of
creation it is something that God declared to be good and listen when God
instituted this physical aspect within marriage he did so with a multifaceted
purpose God didn’t just do this for just no reason no no there was a reason
behind why he gave marriage and married couples this gift within their
relationship number one is the obvious reason procreation that this is to
reproduce the human race this is to multiply and he did so by making it a
pleasurable experience giving people a greater motivation to want to do this
act and so this is in which lines up with Genesis one that
you shall be fruitful and multiply but listen so many people have limited this
to just that so many people have brought it down to just that in fact the church
fathers though they did a lot of things right and though they gave so much of
what we believe in greater understanding concerning theology many Church Fathers
have gotten the understanding of sects very wrong there is this influence in
their day certain philosophies and certain thought patterns that believed
that if anything was physical it was evil and everything spiritual is good if
it’s anything pleasurable to the flesh then it’s wrong and everything spiritual
is good and unfortunately many of the Church Fathers have allowed that
thinking to come in and to infiltrate their understanding and to completely
remove themselves from the word and so many Church Fathers have taught this in
fact it has reached all the way to this point in time of history where they said
listen sex within marriage even is simply for procreation that sex within
this boundary yes it’s only to fulfill this reproducing command and many many
people throughout history have felt guilty and many people have even
destroyed their marriages because of that kind of thinking why they came to
that conclusion again it’s because of the philosophies of that day but we have
to come to what the scripture says what does the Bible tell us and the Bible
tells us something about this act that God has deposited within marriage and
this is one of the great things about it that within a relationship under God it
is to express it is to express one’s love for another and it is to experience
a depth of intimacy that cannot be known and of any other human relationship
there’s an expression of love that’s there in this physical act and there is
this experience of deep intimacy that you cannot ally should not experience
with any other person in the world think about it if God had created
marriage to be between a man and a woman and God had instituted that they would
be one man one wife for the rest of their lives what he does here with this
act is that he deposit and he gives it as a gift in order to make that
faithfulness between that couple more secure more solidified he gives this
gift and he created sex in a way that would strengthen the attachment between
a man and his wife and so sex itself is an investment to increasing faithfulness
in a marriage and it is a gift it is a gift given by God so that this couple
can know some kind of a joy in their relationship realize that realize that
the Scriptures gives us language for that realize that the Bible gives us an
entire book dedicated to how God advocates and champions and has created
that the Song of Solomon it is an investment to increasing faithfulness it
is a gift from God to know joy in a relationship and the bonding power of
sexual intimacy is far greater than many people have thought and currently think
that the consequences of this act can have great positive influence or great
negative influence it can go either way it can be glorious or it can be
disastrous it could be joyful or can be the most
painful thing and the very language of Genesis 2:24 describes it that the two
shall become one flesh it’s there that connectivity is even spoken in the very
command that when these two come together there is a oneness that is
known again that is not known with any other person on the face of the earth
think about how beautiful that is that when you say your I Do’s and when you
have saved yourself for that moment what you are saying to that person is I have
kept this part of my life completely reserved for you there is no other
person in this life or in this world that I
will give this to it belongs completely to you now if you don’t believe that to
be true if you don’t believe that there is this bonding power to sex if you
don’t believe that there is an influence that can come about when a person gives
himself this way to another person how is it then that those who have ended a
relationship that was sexually active are more emotionally bruised than those
who might have ended a relationship that was not sexually active that a person
who gives themselves this way and then does it in a manner in which does not
honor God whether they end a relationship or it was before marriage
and that relationship is cut off you know what happens they experience a
greater pain than a person who might have been in a relationship and did not
go to that length there’s great power with this so what does God do and his
wisdom knowing what he created and the power that it contains calls us to a
standard concerning sexuality for our joy and for our good you might have
grown up as a Christian hearing don’t do this why cuz it’s bad just wrong don’t
do it okay you know what that doesn’t really help a lot of people because they
go for it anyway but you when you realize how holy it is and you realize
how powerful it is and you realize what investment it can make into your
marriage I’m sure again that you will have greater hesitation to act upon this
outside of God’s ordained way the early church fathers again got this wrong but
we see here that the second part of understanding sex concerning Genesis
2:24 yes number one that it is a holy design but number two it is exclusive
for those who are in marriage it is exclusive for those who are in marriage
this is God’s standard for sexuality and the devil is attacking this more than
any time he has been doing it throughout history but do you realize that an
understanding the holy power that this act has he is going full
pledge against it in our society he’s convincing people in this day young
people especially as young as possible that you can perform this act and it can
be harmless it can be recreational it could be something that you just do is
something that will just release some pressure something that will just just
help you actually they’re saying all these things not realizing not realizing
what it actually affects not realizing the depths of its influence on a person
and listen let’s make the connection if sex and sexuality has a great
contribution to marriage to bringing a couple to a nearness and a oneness that
is so profound what is he doing his attack on sexuality is ultimately an
attack on marriage that he is telling people to give themselves over to more
than one person to in fact give yourself to as many people as possible he’s
telling a young man to do that in his high-school years now it’s even younger
he’s telling a young girl to do this convincing them with all the craziness
that’s being pumped into our brains on a daily basis and guess what when that
person finally finds a person that he wants to commit himself to and when that
individual wants to give herself to the husband that she wants to deliver the
rest of her life with that bonding power now has been loosened ultimately
affecting the marriage to some degree if you don’t believe this you’re fooling
yourself and all these china convince people is this is something that you can
do recreationally not telling you that there is actually a transaction of the
soul that takes place in that act that there’s a giving of yourself and a
receiving of another person that happens in that moment oh no just a physical
thing just blow off some steam and move on and all the counseling sessions
around churches in America would testify otherwise God had created this from the
beginning to be so powerful no wonder Satan wants to reverse it
ultimately affecting the faithfulness that can be experienced within a
marriage and the love and the intimacy that it can be known within that realize
this and so what we see here is that there is
advice for us whether you’re married whether you’re single even if you have
committed any sexual act outside of God’s standard I want to speak to these
three people I want to give advice from the Word of God to married couples if
you’re still in first Corinthians chapter 7 look at verse 5 first
Corinthians chapter 7 verse 5 before you go to verse 5 look at verse 1 Paul says
now concerning the matters about which you wrote it is good for a man not to
have sexual relations with a woman ha so the Corinthian church has some
questions about marriage and about sexuality and guess what Paul had some
answers the church needs to give people answers concerning this matter the
church should not be afraid to speak of these things as long as they do so
according to the Word of God and with reverence people need to know and the
Corinthians has some questions and Paul is giving some answers and what is he
saying verse 5 concerning sexual relations within a marriage do not
deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you
may devote yourselves to prayer but then come together again so that Satan may
not tempt you because of your lack of self-control a husband and a wife
depriving one another of their bodies no matter what the motive may be and though
there are right motives and there are times for that if there is a wrong
motive behind that even if there are spiritual reasons as he says here could
be detrimental to the marriage in a long term you’re robbing that experience from
the other person to know and nearness and to know a closeness and an intimacy
that God has instituted for marriage and to deprive one another is a dangerous
thing it opens the door for destruction to come in it opens the possibility for
adultery to come in it opens the door for pornography to creep in and so he
says here don’t even if you’re praying even if you have a season of time where
you want to just spend time with the Lord which tells me something about
marriage that you don’t divorce with God when you get married with somebody like
so many people do they get married and they divorce with God they don’t care
about God they’re not zealous for God anymore
he’s saying here even if you want to get away to get to know God on a deeper
level to be intimate with God don’t do that for too long lest Satan come and
tempt you practical wisdom here come back together quickly and when you come
back together realize this that sex is less about you getting something and
more about you giving yourself the biblical understanding of this is that
this act is actually you giving yourself to someone else rather you getting
something from somebody else look at verse 3 what does it say the husband
should give to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband I’m giving a part of
me to you I’m laying this part of my life down to you with joy with delight
it’s an act of giving more than an act of receiving do you see even how God
designed sex to be a selfless thing there is no license in the scriptures
for one party in a marriage to withhold this intimacy from somebody else to
either manipulate or get a point across there is no room for that there is no
right for that that is dangerous for somebody to hold that back for
manipulation to know that they can get that person to do something because they
are reserving that that’s not scriptural at all again it’s about you giving
yourself away not you’re trying to get something from somebody else and using
sexual intimacy as a vehicle to move you’re selfish today agenda in marriage
and so ask the Lord to sanctify your understanding of this and to have the
heart of God relating to this the Scriptures encourage that this type of
intimacy it’s not just about rules and regulations yeah I give myself there is
a joy in this and there is a blessing in this and there is a thrill involved with
this and we’re not going to take the time to see how the Scriptures clearly
display that so marriage couples see what the scripture says about sex take
this word let it saturate your mind and obey it in faith knowing that it will be
for your pleasure I want to speak to the singles now
and you might be facing great temptation unless you said your I Do’s yes you
might be engaged but I want to be speaking to you in the same category as
well you might be facing great temptation and on top of that you might
be thinking hey you made it maybe I’ve thought this thought well if God wanted
me to wait for my wife or my husband to give myself in this way why did he allow
me to experience these temptations instead of young young age why is there
such a long period between me feeling these emotions and coming to the place
of finding somebody and me having to fight this almost on a daily basis well
know this that one God had created you and me he did create us with appetites
he did you have an appetite for food you have an appetite for drink and guess
what human nature has an appetite for this kind of physical intimacy yeah
that’s right so I must I must satisfy this appetite like food and Drake hold
on there cowboy you can survive without sex you can’t survive without food and
water you can live your entire life not performing this act and you will be
a-okay in your survival food and water no this appetite yes next time you are
fighting this temptation next time you feel like it’s overwhelming you and it’s
actually overriding all the other appetites you might have realize this
realize this let this be a thought for you I can survive about this in the
moment it might not feel like it in the moment you might feel like if I don’t
perform a certain Act this is actually going to do some harm to me no it’s not
you’re gonna be fine you can survive without it and as
awesome as it is in marriage a marriage you can have a marriage without this and
there are some people who have unfortunate circumstances where a person
can’t do that a marriage can still survive it’s a joyful thing in marriage
it’s a thrilling thing in marriage it is a great vehicle for to bring people
together but you can survive without this appetite realize that it’s not a
necessary thing to gratify in order for your survival to be prolonged
but with that I hope up to this point that you would have a fresh faith to
fight this temptation in your single years it’s all the moment in which you
give yourself under God and before people as a witness that you are married
to a person would you fight this fight of purity with what you just heard
concerning the investment that it will make into
your marriage if there’s any motivation that you would have and there should be
many but if there’s anyone that you should add to your fight let it be this
I’m keeping myself I am reserving myself I am protecting myself for the sake of
my wife you don’t know who your wife is your future wife by faith your future
wife by faith your future husband engage people you have all the more you know
who you’re gonna marry for those who don’t know they’re gonna marry would you
in faith fight this fight knowing that I don’t know who this person is yeah but
I’m keeping myself so that I can invest in my marriage I want I want to give
something that will contribute to our bonding and to our our attachment to one
another believe that fight for that fight for your wife fight for your
future husband that’s what we see here is that there is even advice for those
who have committed this act because you’re hearing about the bonding power
and you’re hearing about what it does and you’re hearing and probably up to
this point you’re thinking I have messed up because I had given myself maybe more
than one person but I want to tell you this you might not be able to change
your past but you can determine what your future will look like and you must
believe that God is able one to forgive willing to forgive to heal the deepest
wounds possible and not only heal but preserve you until you give yourself to
that person believe that and believe that when you come in Christ you’re a
new creation when you’re in him it’s a new life it’s a new start start fresh
with God walk with Him commit yourself to fight yes for your
marriage but also for his glory don’t use your mistakes from the past as
a crutch to continue in that sin because you thought yourself I already done this
and I already messed up so might as well just keep going into it no ask the Lord
fight for this and believe that he has the power to so rewire your mind
– so renew your heart that you coming into that season of marriage will be a
glorious one he’s able to restore he’s able to redeem so believe that believe
that according to the Word of God believe that for yourself
we talked about the pattern of marriage and we just learned that God has a
pattern just from Genesis 2:24 but this pattern also leads to a purpose what is
God’s purpose for marriage is it just for companionship companionship as part
of it is it so that a man and woman can reflect the relationship with Christ in
the church as a as a testimony to the world that’s part of it is it something
that helps a person look more like Jesus in a sanctifying way because realize
that whether you’re a man or a woman when you come into marriage it’s gonna
require greater humility it’s gonna pull out of you greater love it’s gonna pull
out of your greater patience if you want to if you want to know how you can be
refined to the person of Christ marriage will help you do that but is that the
only purposes is there another purpose those things are included but God even
gives us a very clear mandate in his understanding of instituting marriage
Malachi Malachi 2:15 this is profound in the book of Malachi 2:15 the Lord gives
us indictments to the people of Israel concerning how they’ve treated their
marriage and he says did he not make them one with a portion of the Spirit in
their union this is probably one of the hardest verses in the Hebrew to
interpret that’s why in different translations there might be a different
slant with a portion of the spirit in their union
and what was the one God seeking so here we understand that there is God
establishing the fact that they’re gonna become one we already talked about that
not only that that the Spirit of God is mingled in that union but what was God
seeking in bringing a man and a woman together godly offspring so guard
yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your
youth godly offspring marriage has been instituted for a man and a woman to come
together as a team to do what to nurture and disciple a new generation to follow
the ways of the Lord I hope that as you hear this you’re gonna you’re gonna
understand marriage in a fuller way companionship yes sanctifying yes all
those things are great but God says there’s a mission that I have in mind in
marriage that when a godly man and a god-fearing woman come together that
they would produce godly offspring to multiply Christ followers is an aspect
of the call for the Christian couple it’s not the only but it is a main part
of it because there’s some couples who can’t have kids that’s true we got to be
sensitive to that but God’s intention is this that you
were to raise up Christ followers what an honor what a privilege what an
excitement what a what a way to rewire your understanding of who your wife is
she’s your partner he’s your partner you’re investing your planting you’re
depositing something in your children that will live out the gospel God
willing even after your lifetime that is you woman of God you man of God long for
the glory of God you who have been changed by the gospel this should be
your motivation that as you come together with that person you so love
God that you’re gonna invest in your chilling that even when you go down Six
Feet Under you have offspring that are still living
and moving about on the earth perhaps going to different nations and
places and workplaces to glorify the god that you so loved what an honor and a
privilege and this is why I encourage women all the time don’t you dare ever
belittle your role as a wife and as a mother so many people kind of object to
this idea of the central role of a woman who’s in the home to raise up her family
and they think like is that what I’m limited to have I been brought down I
have all these gifts these dreams these ideas these passions and rightfully so
God wants you to use those things but think about the call that he’s giving
you as a mother to pour into these young ones to be an investment to the renewal
of their mind to train them up in the ways of the Lord to be an example and
I’m not obviously a mother but I have a mother and I know different mothers and
I can tell you this even those who have made great sacrifices to raise up their
children I even have heard of one who was a
medical doctor but gave herself to just raising up her children wholeheartedly
raising them up raising them up raising them up and she even said with her own
lips that when I see who they are now cuz all of them serve the Lord and have
godly wives it was worth it it was so worth it investing my time
investing my energy putting a pause on my life to just pour into them was so
worth it and so your marriage young man young woman your marriage to some degree
because it is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the
church should inspire your kids to love Christ and to love the church as they
watch your life as they watch your life and as you are a walking breathing
living picture of that in the home in the living room in the kitchen in your
travels would they look at your relationship and say because my father
treats my wife in such a way I want to be a part of Christ and because my wife
my mother treats her husband in such a way I want to be a part of the church
your marriage has the potential to make Christ and the church attractive to your
children so there is a mission here there is a
partnership here and there is something that you and I have to realize that
there is something greater than even companionship would you see surprised
that there is a godly example of this with a person that you might not even
thought of that there is an example of this partnership displayed for us and
probably a place in the Bible that you might have thought of would you say that
Samson was a godly man I mean he’s in the Hall of faith but there is one thing
for certain and that debate he had godly parents have you ever realized that his
parents were so godly go to judges chapter 13 judges chapter 13 there’s a
man named Manoah which is Samson’s father and there is his wife who is
unnamed she was barren and something happens a messenger comes the angel of
the Lord and to tell this barren woman that she is to have a child now he used
to be consecrated unto God verse 6 it says then the woman came and told her
husband a man of God came to me and as appearance was like the appearance of
angel got very awesome I did not ask him where he was from and
he did not tell me his name but he said to me behold you shall conceive and bear
a son so then drink no wine or strong drink
and eat nothing unclean for the child shall be a Nazarite to God from the womb
to the day of his death and so you know what I see here though that this angel
does not appear to both of them at the same time appears to the wife and the
wife makes this decision to go tell her husband she runs to the husband because
what she realizes we’re in this together we are a team were partners as she goes
listen this this is angel this man of God came up to me and told me that I’m
gonna have a child but I didn’t ask where he came from now look what the
husband does in verse 8 the manoa prayed to the Lord and said O Lord please let
the man of God whom you sent come again to us and to teach us what we are to do
with the child who will be born and God listened to the voice of Manoah and what
happens to the fast Ford he appears to the woman again and what
she runs back to the husband you just see this symphony in their marriage this
oneness spiritually this connection that they have this concern this mutual
relationship with God that they are sharing together and Manoa comes to this
man and look at verse 12 how precious is this verse and Manoa said to the man now
when your words come true what is to be the child’s manner of life and what is
his mission husbands fathers mothers that should be your collective prayer
for your children Lord what is the manner of his life and what is his
mission what is he called to do where is she called to go Lord how can
we invest in them how can we invest in him how can we invest God give us the
wisdom God give us the instruction God give us the leading God give us
sensitivity to your spirit God show us how we can pour into them because God
had in mind that Samson would be a deliverer for the nation of Israel and
this couple understanding the possibility of that are asking God in
their humility would you help us do you see the picture here between this man
and a woman in partnership in light of the fact that they have a mission you
have a mission in your marriage you have a mission as a couple how thrilling and
exciting unfortunately so many couples are limiting their future and the future
of their children – what kind of job they will have and if they just don’t do
drugs and if they just attend church once a week you know what this couple is
saying what is their mission God reveal it to them reveal it to us show us how
we can posture them to fulfill the call of God in their lives and you might be
saying well I’m hearing you and this is where it gets complicated because this
is God’s ideal but that’s not the reality for so many people one gets
saved in a marriage the other person is not saved ones more spiritually zealous
than the other doesn’t care a thing about their children to care about the
call of God in their own lives what do you do in all these different circuit
Sansa’s what are we doing all these different situations is there hope for a
person who might be carrying more of the weight spiritually whether man or woman
absolutely don’t forget about Timothy don’t ever
forget about Timothy where the Bible and the Holy Spirit gives us this man and
gives us his context and gives us his situation to show us that there is
always hope for the next generation even if the parents are not necessarily in
partnership what did Paul say to Timothy in 2nd Timothy 1:5 I am reminded of your
sincere faith a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother
Eunice and now I am sure dwells in you as well
notice he didn’t mention the father Timothy I’m reminded that you are the
man that you are because of what your mother well your grandmother invested in
you you know what description we have of Timothy’s father acts 16:1 you don’t
have to turn that you can if you want Paul came also the dhurbey into lystra a
disciple was there named Timothy the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer but
his father was a Greek as people debate who this father was or what kind of
influence he had on his child and his family some even say that he might have
died early on in Timothy’s life but what I see here is that the mother was a
believer and perhaps the the husband was actually pagan nevertheless it did not
derail Timothy in his walk with God and I want to encourage what side of the
line you’re on wives that are not with godly husbands godly husbands that are
not with godly wives know this as painful as that might be
and as prayerful as you might be concerning your spouse may your heart
and mind also be consumed with the mission and the possibility that you can
invest in your children and you don’t even know who that child might become
for the glory of God you have no idea what your faithfulness
even in brokenness can bring about in another generation you don’t know if
your son will be a Timothy you don’t know if your daughter will be
some somebody great for God that Lois that unis have it in mind that one day
Timothy would be the pastor of the Church of Ephesus do you think that they
had in mind that one of the Apostle Paul himself would recruit this young man to
join him in the mission for the gospel no idea I’m sure of it but I’m sure they
were glad that they invested in their son once they knew and once they saw
Timothy leave that house to go and join the Apostle Paul to serve the kingdom of
God what do you think happened to that moms heart despite the brokenness of a
husband that wasn’t serving god what kind of joy do you think filled her
heart when she knew that all the times in the Word of God all the times of
kneeling beside Timothy on his bedside praying to God all the times of telling
him to be aware of all these things in these temptations all the encouragement
all the things that I’ve told him in the Word of God concerning men of God we’ve
been used by all of this is worth it don’t give up if you are with somebody
unfortunately that does not see the same thing that you see take all that energy
bring it in intercession take all that energy invested in your children invest
it in a future Timothy do you have no idea God’s pattern and purpose for
marriage God’s pattern and purpose for marriage is this something that you will
submit to that marriage is between a man and a woman like God’s goodness and
wisdom he creates sex to be exclusively experienced within marriage but the
sacrifice is made from each individual concerning submission and leadership has
been given to enrich your relationship will you trust God’s patter will you
trust God’s purpose that although it is for companionship and to enjoy another
individual in light of worshiping God there is yet a higher call a deeper call
an exhaustive purpose in it that you have the influence to pour into a people
whether one two three four five as many as God gives you to go out as Christ
followers even beyond your time I hope so let’s break together God’s
pattern if it is honored will lead you to his purpose and his purpose will
ultimately lead you to pleasure his pleasure his holy pleasure and as we’ve
been doing if you can in your own heart just by faith for the glory of God in
where you’re sitting right now ask the Lord Lord I’m praying for my
brothers and sisters that are married God would they see your pattern would
they see your purpose pray that for your own marriage if you’re engaged pray that
for yourself and even if you’re single ask God for the fresh faith to fight for
your purity and for the investment of your future wife and your future husband father we come before you and as the
psalmist has said so many times I rejoice at the work of your hands and
Lord today we choose to rejoice at the work of your hands not just in creation
and in nature but in marriage we rejoice in how you have created marriage to be
with a heart full with a heart trusting that the way you’ve planned it to be
ordained and to be experienced is for our pleasure and for your glory and Lord
we just asked for every married couple here that they would realize the purpose
of their union that they would take it upon themselves to live for this and to
pray Philippe Rea into their children and to be an example and the way they
treat one another God for those who are engaged in which temptation is even
heightened to a greater degree convinced that they are for one another Lord would
they would they believe that if they just wait it will make that experience
so much greater that it would be free from guilt and shame and regret Lord for
those who are single and perhaps have had a past before Christ or who were
perhaps living in it right now any sexual sin law we just pray that
they would have a fresh motivation to forsake that sin and Lord they would
have a fresh faith to believe that you can heal the wounds of that sin and Lord
would you give every person the power to maintain that purity not not in a way in
which we are thinking that we are withholding ourselves from joy but
believing that we are actually investing in a joy to come so lord help every
person in every season of life in this place but father in heaven we come to
you this morning to worship you in song in light of your creation and marriage
we come to to sing to you because of your wisdom we come to worship you
because of your goodness towards us by giving us this gift and so Lord we
submit to the authority of the word of God willingly this morning and we say
thank you thank you thank you Lord may you be glorified in every person’s life
this morning and your name we pray

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