The Real Reason for Marriage – Prof. Jordan Peterson


About the author

Comments

  1. If you like Jordan Peterson's material you might be interested to know that both his audiobooks, “12 Rules for Life” and “Maps of Meaning”, are currently available FOR FREE via the Amazon Audible Trial program ( https://amzn.to/2D9maL2 ). They are even narrated by the man himself. 🙂

    The above is an official Amazon affiliate link.

  2. "Marriage appears to have degenerated into an extortion racket where females engage in wealth extraction from Men, and the corrupt system supports them, and women know this. It's too bad, but these are the cards we all have been dealt. Marriage is a complete farce now, and a useless path for Men, and it should be suspended/stopped as a threat to public safety, like we did with DDT, thalidomide, or whatever." Douglas Stejskal

  3. 2:48 in theory, all he is saying is true. (You d think divorce is evil and it ruined any chance of long happy marriages. Long marriage for sure, vut dunno about happy) Except, that realistically, marriages for life in traditional societies, historically go hand in hand with patriarchy. And what patriarchy installed in those couples, is that it's the woman's place to endure hardship, to sacrifice, to be patient, to put herself last..etc i'm not saying those values are bad necessarily, but it's the inbalance btw what is expected from genders that made the women's right to divorce freeying and the idea of a way out of marriage reassuring for modern women. The unbalance was made so that women were expected to endure all kinds of abuse, the forgive and justify the man's cheatings, for the sake of the children..and also because, goid women and good wives were defined as self sacrifycing… Individualism and consumerism that came with capitalist values made the final nail in the coffin of marriages's ethics..coz often, the desire of insta gratification, the reluctance to endure any hardship i.e any kind of frustration, the abhorring of parental /adulthood duties.. The irrealistic expectation of ''eternal love and continual happinrss''..all that made quiting ones marriage too precoce.. We went from enduring hell in sile'ce out of respect for religious values or out if fear of social stigmas or out of financial imprisonment and dependency…to jumping on divorce coz we are ''bored'' and ''dissatisfyed''.
    In traditional societies, only men were permitted to divorce or marry again..and not only because of the prejudice against divorced women.. But because men were financially capable of doing so… So i can see why some would view the right to divorce as a future reassurance…

  4. I've seen and heard it so many times through friends, friend of friends and ex coworkers people almost take their lives going through a divorce. Then when everything is settled after 7-10 years of misery, they get a burst of happiness for a short period of time and then they're ready to recommit to a new spouse because of loneliness or found true love. Whatever..it's either stay married till death do you part or just stay single forever. Don't try to act or do both or in between. Pick one!

  5. Marriage is a bad business for men, that's why divorce is expensive because it's totally worth it after it comes down to it. You should avoid bad businesses.

  6. This marriage thing, I'm not sure about the seemingly dismissal of the values of step parents, I think it's a small minority of bad eggs in a sea of people who care as much for the children as for the new partner? Even you know if you love someone you can love what they love, I watch you on my walk to work , I need something to compete with my cacophony….Kindest wishes

  7. I understand where you are coming from, but sometimes someone becomes so abusive and toxic you have to leave.

    A friend had to do that once her husband was not only abusive to her but her daughter. You can only go through so many years of that before you see the damage done to the kid.

    I've seen many times where divorce ends Much Better.

    You want to work things out and give that as much of a chance as you can, but if the person is unwilling or abusive- Get Out. Don't emotionally Bankrupt your child.

  8. You know, I would maybe consider marrying if only the women wouldn't all be declining me, or in your view: "I'm not worthy enough of a woman or I don't try hard enough since I'm a man". Honestly, I'm actually quite fine with women ignoring me. Being single has a lot of benefits in comparison to being married. You don't have to share your money, there is no fear for unwanted children, you have far less obligations and instead you have a lot of free time for hobbies etc. The main issue with being single is however that after work I often feel quite lonely while sitting in my room watching videos (e.g. this one), playing games etc.. So often I'm actually quite sad. But I'm not to blame for this issue. I was ready to live a life with a woman but soociety was and does not seem to be ready. Thus this society with it's moral standards can suck my balls. I hope you don't take it personally if I condemn your ultraconservative ideals…

  9. Marriage is good for society because it'll teach people that being an impulsive bitch/dickward is immoral.

  10. If marriage was permanent, there wouldn’t be divorce court, and if there is a divorce court, then why get married lol. Marriage is such an old, outdated construct that serves no purpose to a mans life except to bring him to ruin by draining his wealth and assets and leaving him with a high probability of suicide, not to mention times this by 100 when your children are ripped from your life in a male biased court system. Marriage is only a legal binding contract of wealth and assets to later be redistributed to your wife, it has zero benefit to you. It’s a scam and no man alive can justify himself being married under the state with a marriage license.

  11. Marriage nowadays is so scary and dangerous. If you don't find a tolerant wife which is less than 10%, just stay safe and don't submit to the social pressure

  12. What sucks is when they're a good mom but a bad wife but who doesn't leave because they want to manipulate and control you. Also they're undiagnosed bi-polar….and a witch…whom has a history of physical violence; FML. 😣😭

  13. Can anyone tell me why people seek to ruin their relationship by attacking the other person verbally? Is it really out of fear of losing it? It sounds quite contradictory. And what can be done to help save it at that point?

  14. Nothing is forever. No point in living in misery and sacrifice for the sake of kids. If you try with your heart and soul and still things don’t work out then leave. We are not in this planet to suffer!!!

  15. Uh, divorce is preferable to death. The option of divorce is absolutely necessary in a violently abusive marriage.

  16. What the hell??? Divorce is always an option! Sure, you lose all your money but you have PEACE. And no, you don’t have a market value! I am better off alone and my kids do not need a stepfather, they love having me to themselves. Run, women, run!

  17. It’s true the relation ship with half sibling is not all there. When the parents get divorce children becomes collateral damage. They put the children against each other

  18. You can and should be capable of inspiring yourself. Nevertheless, being inspired is not always as simple as looking around you. Sometimes we could use a little boost. This is where relationships play a major role in our lives.

    The only true purpose, or rightly purpose, of relationships is to inspire your lover and for you to be inspired in return. This is what love is all about: your partner inspiring you every day to be the best possible version of yourself.

    A person who inspires you will never get boring. This person will make you want to live more, better. This person will bring about experiences you could have never imagined.

    If you settle for anything less than the inspiration of your life, you will eventually realize that whatever it is you have is not enough. The tricky thing about people is that if they don’t inspire you, they leave you uninspired. They demotivate you; they leave you with nothing to aspire to. We are creatures that constantly need to be growing and moving in order to feel alive. Without finding a person who inspires you, your relationship will feel stagnant. That’s when you feel you've hit a wall and decide to call it quits. It’s inevitable.

  19. Most people rush into relationships to fill a void, but you can’t solve an internal issue by replacing it with a person or by seeking someone out. You have to do the work and better yourself. Not expect someone to know exactly what’s wrong and solve it for you.

  20. I never realized how good I had it until I saw this. Divorce sucks terribly but 2nd spouse adored 'our' child and we 'tri-parented'. I couldn't be with someone who resented my kid, but now I understand how this could be. Divorce sucks in so many ways. So does a bad marriage.

  21. If I could have a marriage with someone who actually loves me, wild horses couldn't tear me away! The only reason to leave is if the idiot you married is trying to kill you. If "till death do you part" means something different to him, then he married you fraudulently, and you are not really married. So you can leave.

  22. "Feminism did not free women from the chains they thought were there. It freed Men from the chains they had no idea were there!" Arch Stanton.

  23. I think the Muslims have it right here, if one wife gets out of line- you smacked the shit out of her- and she covers her bruises with her hijab- make sure to cut off her clitoris- if the second wife give you trouble make her do some hard labor- western women are too bossy and fat for this to work

  24. The Real "Reason" for Marriage…to GUARANTEE the woman the backing of the State to legally, financially, and spiritually destroy her ex-husband when the relationship ends. MOST women marry up and most women marry up because women know that if the marriage fails, the State, Courts, and Society mandate that MEN MUST PAY.

  25. Marriage is a man-made institution that benefitted men a hell of a lot more than it did women. I'm not encouraging any of my kids to marry.

  26. A trend I’ve seen in my church is commitment ceremonies. Elderly people with no spouse who want to live together, but due to finances find it better not to marry. So they go through a similar marriage ceremony. My state you get a license your married. I’ve been telling young people now, go ahead get married just DO NOT get a license.

  27. My aunt's husband was having a drinking problem that worsen with time…should she just tolerate it and not hope for a change? Some of you aren't even married and you have an opinion on how women want things to change and are never happy, NO , women who care about their families struggle everyday to keep things in order ,to make their home even better when it needs it. Yes we do ,we hope that things will get better! My aunt helped my uncle get out of alcoholism ,she didn't divorce him. My mom divorced my dad thought…he spent all his money on booze etc while I was a baby ..he never helped my mom on anything ,why should she have stayed with him? To let him destroy my life as well? Yes women divorce men because some men don't care about keeping a marriage healthy . Women keep a home alive,if you let a man in charge he will screw everything,and i dont mean all men,some men are great fathers and husbands..and i wish my dad was like that .

  28. I understand what he’s saying, but from my perspective, still up to this day I wish my parents had gotten divorced. They stayed together, (and are still together) and they made life in that family like a torture for us kids. We have all sort of mental problems now and all three of us are scared of marriage, it’s more like a phobia for us now. It’s like getting a life in prison sentence when I think about marriage.

  29. This is why marriage is for a pare, who know each other as badly as it can get them to trust each other openly.
    I will not marry my first for the first 5 years or until I know for sure that we can truly trust each other when solving problems, or when being angry at each other

  30. Parents divorced when I was 10, 9 years later, Dad is in financial trouble and legal battles between dad and mom continue. Jordan is so right, it so fucking messy.

  31. I strongly disagree with what you said specially with the divorce, I think if you not happy in your relationship you can’t keep living it even if it’s expensive it’s not healthy

  32. Jordan, I was so happy to spend time with my girlfriends kids…that I stayed with her far longer than I should have. It made the inevitable and needed split up to be very difficult for me…as I lost something from my life that is very difficult to lose…it wasn't always easy…but it was always interesting.

  33. also…who needs to spend every waking second with their mate?? Surely, not me…I would welcome the interruptions to some extent.

  34. Marriage not guarantee anything. The person can leave whenever he/she wants only that with divorce he/she will take half of your money and if it is a she and you have children she will take the children from you. The marriage is legal state in witch both of you have the same rights but that rights are not defined and children must have home and the women can live with other guy (in some cases in your apartment with your children and you must go out). In that circumstances man suffers the most (If there is children). And for the money suffer that person that has the more (in most cases man again). So, there is no reason for men to go with marriage and there is no reason for persons that has more money and person who works more. All agreements you can arrange with contracts without marriage. You can have children without marriage and you can agree all of your rights with your own contracts. Divorce rate is to high and risk of property and losing children is to high (she can go to the other place or country) and you don't have any guarantee from the state to protect you. You get nothing!!! Give me one real reason. Not that BS of emotional and ritual reasons. Just one real reason for go to the marriage

  35. I'm kind of offended because he's right lol
    I'm a stepfather and I'm married and we had a child. It's so hard to balance everything, to love a kid that's not your own the same way as you love your biological kid can be tricky, sure you buy them the same toys and stuff but when it comes to affection they can feel the difference. Plus I feel me and my wife never got our bit of time together just us two it's always been us three and now it's four and the pressure is on. 5 years married and sometimes I feel like ending it and I'm sure she does too but as a Man I feel I should set an example and take responsibility. Guess I'll have to wait till they grow up and give us some space. My advice if my son asked me what should he do if he came across my situation, don't marry her until you've actually lived together for at least 4 years.
    Be sure she's a Christian and not on social media, has to know how to cook and clean equally as you and will not betray you when your going through a hard time. Always see where she came from….can't shake a whore tree and expect an angel to fall out.

  36. My wife and I have only been together for three years of marriage but like all couples, we've had our arguments, some of them even got nasty (mostly the early days). We probably have that one argument a year where our voices raise and we both say things we regret…
    BUT, I have had such a miserable last two years, in and out of the ICU for a pretty serious condition, laid of from two separate jobs by no fault of my own (though, I make a significant income so we're stable enough), holding me when I'm sick, not getting angry at me when I stumble back from a night of online gaming while hammered, just showing real love.
    At times, I want to spend more time with her, I want to hold her more but she's the type of person who, when she sets her eyes on doing something, she just really, really wants to get it done. It could be opening a business, it could be cleaning the kitchen. So when I see that, I show her the respect of giving her the space and time she needs, as well.
    We don't have a perfect marriage but we absolutely love each other and work to keep things happy for both of us, even if we make mistakes sometimes.
    In general, we shouldn't have to change who we are but we should adapt ourselves to ensure that we're giving the space or love that people need at the times they need them.

  37. I'm a 29 year old male and single, mainly because I've noticed how poorly my other male friends have been treated by courts, abortions and other crooked affairs.

  38. Is it just me or do alot women these days have the "little princess mentality"
    Where they have high expectations expecting vast material , good reputation ( basically everything pretty and perfect and narcissistic ) but places all responsability on the guy ( which in these days are nothing more the a boy brain in a man's body ) ( FOR THE MOST PART. Though there are few exceptions ofcourse).

  39. I've seen people totally miserable after 20 or 30 years of marriage and I've seen people (mostly men) free and happy at 50, being single or divorced. Marriage is an unnatural thing for most men.

  40. Assuming that the people that are married like each other to begin with. How do you work out getting your face beat in? How do you work through knowing you’ll eventually be a Walmart greeter in your 80s because your mate is financially incompetent and there’s no way they’ll ever let you be in charge of finances without beating the dog shit out of you. Be specific when you’re trivializing REAL issues that arise in marriage. Is everything able to be worked out, or is there a point where leaving is a matter of life and death?

  41. Young men – Put your whole future , freedom and personnel control over your own life to some little girl you found….

  42. The tone of his voice when he says” Good, you’ll have it every day every day of your goddamn life “ Man there is emotion there that hits like a hammer.👍🏼

  43. Or you can just not get married so you don't have to live with a guy that forces me to eat red meat until I get cancer.

  44. I married my wife because I didn’t want to live without her in my life and because I fell madly in love with her!

    My wife is literally the most diehard loyalist I have ever meet!

  45. The reason true-love marriage doesn't last nowadays is because people change. Sometimes a person can change so much that the husband/wife can't agree with this new behavior, the love dies, and the only possible solution is divorce. That's nothing wrong with it. We can't compare to the old days, when culture was so different, no technology of any kind.

  46. Divorce allows children to escape fighting between parents and two gardens to grow in. Divorce is not awful, a failed marriage is way worse

  47. Don't let Jordan Peterson's views / ideals be the basis for your decision making. Make you own choices and live with them.

  48. I told my wife “ the only D word that separates us is death”. I visit her grave every year. Kidding we are still married and we had to work through issues. I told her even if you cheat on me I will not leave you. She made me the same promise and we are still in love.

  49. If you do get divorced, TRY not to use attorneys except for the very end when everything has been decided. Use arbitrators instead. I say that as an attorney. D.A., J.D., NYC

  50. There you go. You finally verbalized the major problem with miserable people staying together. Fucking kids. Don't have any of those little blood-sucking parasites in the first place so that the two of you in a relationship can deal with each other on a personal basis and not be encumbered by your mutual sexual mistakes!

  51. I married a drug addict , try help her many times and fail . so dear doc?. yes i div. so i agree to disagree with your bows for life .. keep your money and freedom .. there are many nuts out there .. you dont have to married them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *