Things Southerners Say At Kid’s Birthday Parties


This year’s theme is Splish-Splash it’s a Mermaid Bash. Aren’t these decorations adorable? Praise the Lord for Etsy! Theme? Well the Theme is Birthday. The theme of my last birthday party was get a job kid. I was eight years old. dont get on that bounce house and throw up Braxton! Your mama ain’t gonna pay that security deposit! I’ve seen her fake Michael Kors purse. It might as well say Great Value. I don’t know what it cost to rent that bounce house thing, but I tell you what, you over paid for it. I can make one of them with two blue tarps and a leaf blower. I had to take out a second mortgage on my non-bounce actual house but it was worth every penny! Time to open presents! I only got ten minutes left on this patio and I’m not taking all these gift bags home with me! Oh no sweety. We don’t open presents at the party. We wait till we get home to open them so we can stop and write a thank you note for each and every one. Hey did you open your presents already? How many of them play those Frozen song? All of them. Well alright, I’m never going back in the house again. I live here now. The cold never bothered me anyway. Well I didn’t really consider Chuck E. Cheese cause I like to do my own theme and they already got a theme, which is Come on Kid’s Let’s All Get Pink Eye! Oh yeah, I’ve been to Chuck E. Cheese once. Boy I’ve seen some things that would shake you to your core. Hey! Y’all go get your picture taken with The Little Merm… I mean Unlicensed Sea Princess! You know I didn’t know she was gonna actually wear The seashell bikini Sister Geraldine sees that, she’s gonna hit the ceiling. I mwan her hair’s already half way there but still. Man, I tell you what. When i was a kid the only character show’d up to my party was Uncle Ed. Hire characters? I don’t even know what this is! Looks like something they’d put on T.V. to blur out your private parts Here, y’all come get you some seaweed punch! It’s just sherbert and 7UP. We are in the church fellowship hall. (stabbing sound) I knew I should have bought cokes instead. Oh here, let me see that. There it’s open now. Be sure to put sea-suds on your hands before you get cake. Yes! I themed the hand sanitizer. Boy don’t let that cupcake go to waste because you dropped it on the ground. God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt. so put it in your mouth and make it work! Is Dakota coughin’ on the cupcakes? you better step away from that table! I know your mama took you to the after hours this week. I don’t know what you got, but I don’t want it! Oh you looking for food? Well we had some pigs in a blanket, but I regret to inform you they did not make it out of the kitchen. I think theres some Little Caesars pizza past the cake table. Yeah, out the parking lot and five miles down the street. Does this look like a school cafeteria to you?! I’m not feeding twenty kids today. That’s why I had this party at three o’clock. Oh sorry, we don’t have ice cream this year. That was last years theme, remember? Here is the Scoop My baby’s Turnin’ Two. I gave all the kids unlimited ice cream sundays and sent them home. Some of their mama’s still won’t talk to me. Nah we ain’t got no Blue Bell. We Just got that ice cream that comes in a big bucket. Oh hey, hey, hey ,hey! Don’t throw that out we can just wash it out and reuse it. That thing makes a good bucket. Y’all don’t forget your goodie bags. I made each one of them with love! And my remaining store credit at the Hobby Lobby. Goodie bags?! (laughter)

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  2. I was like 8 and I asked my dad help with a caprisun. He cut it open just like the guy in this video did.
    Me: its spilling!
    Him: what does that teach you.
    Me: …..dont….spill?
    Him: you old enough to open your own crap.

    XD

  3. The joke about the card with the colored squares looking like something that blurs out people's private parts on tv was only funny thing in vid, and should have been saved for a worthy video instead of being lost in this sea of ….not funnyness. More jokes and less over production quick cuts and random props decorating unfunny scenes with dialogue delivered by single level actors, who is directing this ? I am so sad as you all used to make funny vids, now they trying too hard! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™
    And besides?…. why post a vid about kids birthdays instead of one about Valentine's Day , when it's Valentine's Day ?
    And where is the grandma?, your foundation of funny ! .!? No grandma at kids bday vid!?!? What a darn shame. Real swing and a miss guys.

  4. I alway have the party about 2 pm so Iโ€™m not feeding everyone. They get veggie and fruit platters. I always do goodie bags though. They get cake too. No ice cream because my sons birthday is in November.

  5. The using ice cream buckets as real buckets Hit me hard. I remember washing my dad's car is a kid out of a Blue Bell ice cream bucket. LOL or using it to build sand castles or put any other array of dirt in it.

  6. Birthday party??? What's a birthday party?? Boy! You lucky you had a birthday! You don't know how the world really works! It ain't one big party, it's about working and scraping and clawing, that's what life is about and it's time you learned that!!

  7. "This looks like something they use on TV to blur out your private parts…" ๐Ÿ˜‚ I know for a fact I will be that mama when I have kids. "I ain't feeding twenty kids!"

  8. Even though I live north of you, in Indiana, we always have someone at the party/family gathering who with with judging, you-are-so-____(stupid, lazy, not creative, etc.) eyes says right to my face that she/he "could've made that for free, w/better details, ingredients, etc. & in no time flat"… I'm glad that I have grown a little bit to be able to get a laugh from seeing you represent <that person> in your videos hahaha Thank you for what you do!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. We just bbq and drink as the kids fight it out in the bouncy house and then the fathers wwe that bitch till all the air runs out…

  10. I'm not southern but when ever I need help with a caprison someone always has a knife and try's to do it that way!

  11. Donโ€™t forget โ€œNo, you cannot drop her off and come back. Itโ€™s a party not a babysitting service.โ€๐Ÿ˜‚ Always that ONE parent who tries.

  12. 2 Thanksgivingโ€™s ago me and my siblings and cousins wanted a tire swing because we were super bored so I started climbing a tree so they could throw a rope over but then all men got a tractor stood in the bucket and hung it up, it was hilarious๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  13. โ€œGOD made dirt, and dirt donโ€™t hurt! Put it in your mouth and make it work!โ€ ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

  14. โ€œ god made dirt and dirt donโ€™t hurt so put it in your mouth and make it workโ€ Iโ€™m dyeing ๐Ÿ˜‚

  15. "God made dirt…" we used to say that when we were kids. I have no idea where we got it from. Neither of my parents were from the South. Unless Maryland counts.

  16. I don't understand parents who throw those huge parties for kids under the age of five and all the children they invited are much older… X.x Cake and some presents with the family is good.

  17. goodie bags? ๐Ÿ˜„ yeah…that's me. We had 6 children and two (yes TWO) "birthday" parties a year. We had a spring party to celebrate the 2 March and 1 February. Then we had a fall party to celebrate the September October and December. My hubbys bd was also in September and mine became part of the March group. This worked perfectly….until the infamous 16th bd parties where they all thought they all of a sudden needed to have their own identity lol. Seriously, though it really did work we looked forward to those parties almost more than Christmas.

  18. I was the over the top theme mom. I was just the over the top wedding mom and now I'm waiting rather impatiently to get to be the over the top grandma

  19. I'm the lady who had the party at 3 o'clock and nearly lost a lung laughing at the idea of goody bags at a kid's party. YUP..and yet my kid always had a good time at her parties…wonder HOW? lol…

  20. I remember this one. โ€œWe have cousins only birthday parties, not all those random kids from school. Of course, we only have the one cousin since the others all moved to Texas last year cause their Daddy worked for an oil company. But itโ€™s still fun.โ€

  21. My wife is Southern and says "God made dirt and dirt won't hurt" all the time. Never heard the "make it work" part, but I love it!

  22. @ 1:49,that is so me at my niecelings' birthdays.
    Though,I do get the kids all wound up before leaving the party for my sisters or their guests to deal with.

  23. I was at a birthday party in SC today and overhead someone say "how was your trip to the Walmart?" And it made me think of this video lol

  24. Yeah they had to mention Chuck E. Cheese. The place that's supposed to be geared towards children, but last I heard the one in Little Rock started selling alcohol. Not for me thanks!

  25. When my kids were little, we did a themed party for the 3rd birthday when I felt they were old enough to enjoy it. After that, they got to choose the color of balloons! LOL Then when #4 baby was born in Jan… The same month as my firstborn… Well, that's when I started doubling up! Two kids, one party!
    And don't forget that bucket of ice cream! With eventually 5 children, we went through a ton of those… Mighty handy buckets!

  26. Black mom, right here ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ
    (And Iโ€™m white.)

  27. Dirt just makes your immune system strong anyhow. Thank goodness for auto spell on the microphone!?๐Ÿคฃ lord I tryin to spell ammune system. ๐Ÿคฃ what genius decided to spell it that way….. anyhow dirt really dont hurt

  28. funniest one yet! Oh my goodness. I LOVE the laugh after "goodie bags?!" excuse me I have to wipe my laughter tears now.

  29. all my birthdays growing up: cake, ice cream, soda. Games with prizes (spin the tail on the donkey, pile of shoes, find yours run to the finish line) open gifts go home. NO goodie bags, no theme other than birthday, just a basic party with friends and CAKE! though we did get the barbie in the cake dress a few times. this was in the 1960-1979. after 10 we only had parties for the "big" numbers, 13, 16, 18 and done.

  30. Southerners calling Northerners, "yankee" and "bless your heart" is no different than every German today being called a Nazi. The South can go to hell.

  31. Then there's me, $20 for Costco Pizza, a homemade cake, bucket of ice cream, and a movie. Have some pizza, watch a movie, eat some cake, and go home.

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