Titus – Bachelor Party (Temporada 3 – Episodio 13) Subtitulos en Español


marriage is a joy I can’t wait look when you meet the man that you love you marry him and when you find the perfect man you don’t look back Hey look at he left this morning for his bachelor party and I miss him already I do I do too Elementary amino acids and a photovoltaic cell I’ve created rudimentary life very good miss Fitzpatrick mr. Titus oh I did not create life I caught it in the yard behold the miracle of flying light I have created death Christopher is never gonna be that guy again okay but you know it’s normal to have doubts not that I do but you know if I did that would be normal right bad is Christopher the one for me yes yes of course he’s great always been great he’s gonna be a pig like his father no hey my eyes getting worse or is your ass getting bigger nope it’s getting bigger be careful honey your thighs are gonna rub together and start a brush fire Christopher is the one for me listen his bachelor party in Vegas my idea I said Christopher you have fun with the strippers and he said I will Benny said that he’ll call me at sex and I said honey call me don’t call me I really don’t care you go have some fun that clucks bathroom the urinals bolted to the wall cuz I’m gonna blow it off ha ha 90 miles to Vegas home to the most affordable strippers this had a Branson girl then after Vegas road trip to Branson hey maybe they got some strippers here yeah Dave this was like a strippers holding area oh there’s two now spot bucks whip now here’s 200 please don’t stick around they’ll fall out by themselves oh I got a call here uh phone Oh move it mine’s about to oh god please please tell me you just dropped the bag of goldfish plugged in probably just tied up at the front desk you know hotels can be showed well it’s not like he’s surrounded by naked women dressed as bellhops cuz a naked women can’t be dressed just wear those tiny little hats well much ladies much whoa deines shouldn’t you call Erin who you just call mine one one oh we don’t have that here a woman just dropped a uterus in your hallway who would you call for that Edie had your uterus guy good head drives an ambulance and he’s got a mop great could you please call that it doesn’t have a phone who has the phone Rick can you call Rick and have him get ahold of it no they don’t get along but if you’re missing a chromosome I’d live here all right and anyone with the forehead that big should be making chromosome jokes was a man pee to sit down just to tame the Beast let’s get rolling those strippers aren’t gonna get demoralized all by themselves okay good luck then this phone is clearly broken now he can call unless he’s too busy gambling away the money for our honeymoon in that case I’m just gonna have to wait Tommy give me some more chips use my honeymoon money cuz I’m not gonna be needing it you sure you don’t hey bitch don’t own me these all moisten your throat sounds pretty moist Rick says that’s not gonna make it he sat on his fishing hat yeah that’s probably what it sounded like she’s never gonna make it to the hospital she’s gonna have this baby right now well we can’t stay come on you got the bachelor party we’re right Vegas might close I want to see boobs I want to see butts I want to crotch this clothes for my face and I want it now you know I’m sorry he’s usually so caring and woman like you should probably breathe me you idiot let’s go on the booze and sober is nipping at my heels watermelon nipping at my crotch no I’m hungry can I get a fruit plate frequent urination yeah Tommy I swear to God are you feeling fixing your belly instead of your ribs yes sounds like the baby’s posterior banging nurses doesn’t make you a doctor instead of down what’s surgery Channel I can actually pump my own stomach so that’s why our vacuum smells like tacos I play Dave Dave is getting my non-drinking boyfriend drunk when you get married it’s like you get an instant family just add one packet of idiot redhead and let’s simmer that was clever [Music] [Laughter] Mexico’s number one rubbing alcohol no this is to disinfect the salad tongs use those you’ve got to get the baby to turn over get down on all fours sweetie dad she’s already pregnant help you get the baby to flip over yeah I saw this I saw this follow me now breathe nice and deep like this and then you know my bachelor party is really missing something that was it I’m so insecure because Dave got Christopher drunk and Tommy’s gonna surround him with strippers because that’s what he thinks Christopher wants and of course he’s gonna do it because he’s Christopher’s little boy Christopher’s little man serving mr. Burton a damn monkey boy you I said I wanted a brunette thank you so she will do till you find someone with bigger hooters strippers love pecans you own one more time I will I know stuff feeling pretty useless aren’t you men don’t belong at births that’s why hospitals need bars okay when aaron has the baby I am gonna be there Oh Aaron Aaron honey are you there sorry didn’t call look we got big problems here [Music] oh my god Christopher’s been shot oh my god maybe I heard it wrong don’t don’t know oh my god damn prey dogs freak out every time i make chili maybe they don’t want to be the chili actually the south american prairie dog makes a chili there’s muy caliente really good something small and furry just crawled into the urinal you know sometimes your imagination just gets away from you but you just you calm down and you realize that is not as bad as you thought christopher is not dead Tommy just killed a hooker in a fury of repressed homosexual yeah she went for his zipper somebody better call her next to pimp this is her fucking chicken and some potato salad and week it out picnic on her okay she’s only got one door and we got that covered okay all right on three I want you to shoot it out we’ll catch it [Applause] the baby is upside down not one of you has got to get up in there and turn the baby over let’s get up in there Oh me pick me besides of that you have to cut open her stomach I’ll do it you do it you little girl hands you want to boot me out of the birthing process great but I’ll have you know the other day I got this puppy inside a muffler because he’s capable and smart and able to cover up the death of a hooker no to dump the body in a low-income neighborhood Dave would use the body to drive in the carpool lane where’s Lois I don’t know she never showed I wouldn’t worry about it though I’ll take nothing that never happened we didn’t kill bubbles and roll up in this carpet all right we did Dave where does that get here with the mop make your friend go away or I’ll snap it off the wrist that reminds me wouldn’t we get to Vegas I really want to see a magic show sure is warm in here huh [Music] you all make their jokes but when push comes to shove Tommy Schechter comes [Applause] Tommy’s head in the girl’s crotch I never thought I’d say yeah yeah you know Dave he’s right take a picture do something maybe if somebody asked nicely the surgery channel say to do here I don’t know I switched to water skiing all right come on Europe just pretend she’s Arab right Mary justice oh you already have kids oh yes you are you were gonna make a great father just like me I’m sorry but you can’t have this baby are you doing Titus takes a moment date I can’t do this with you standing over me be like the first time I tore down an engine don’t wuss out on this boy hey you don’t tell me what to do oh yeah well you can’t wear a white dress at a funeral I’m supposed to be marrying him not burying him how could I have ever doubted that Christopher was the one for me I’ve known we were perfect for each other since the first time I saw him after high school weight after high school [Music] Aaron Fitzpatrick do I know you oh hey wow you look I mean you’re much wow you look great Thanks catch me if you can but I don’t want any help from you and I don’t want any criticism then don’t do it wrong okay does the baby have a father you’re not doing it right what’s right all the way you do things huh Racing the kid destroying his self-esteem and tell him till he hates himself so much he burns down the garage or wants to snap up his father’s head like a chicken changed my mind I got this oh oh oh I’m sorry he just makes me crazy huh you want to go crazy try raising you give something to your head old man I am never [Music] I am never raise a child crappy horrific way you raised me hello God is it past six oh yeah he doesn’t even notice oh man Aaron is awesome I call three hours late and she still wants me to get lap dances from oil lips trip the thinner the pants the better the dance no no dad we’re not going to Vegas I mean I have a gorgeous woman at home that takes her clothes off you have a stripper at home Aaron when we get back to your house I want a good table my man [Applause] want me to kill you um no all right you guys ready to order oh ho ho wait up dad look at that over there don’t you want to say something to me yeah in the middle of the desert when the chips were down my son had the strength and character to step up and bring new life into this world thank you that’s right I did someone must have raised you pretty good you’re welcome do you see what he does I’m naming the baby ken Tommy let’s go going yeah come on I had the strangest dream I was stuffing a turkey and I fell asleep with my hand inside Apple gobble marriage is a joy I can’t wait you find a man that you love and then you marry him Wow that’s darn good milk nope betrothed to my beloved Aaron I love her so why this you’d make a lovely librarian Christopher is the one for me I know so just shut up and marry the guy already okay I will I’m talking to myself [Music] [Applause] [Music] you I’m the funny one oh I’m the fucking pilot I’m doing okay [Music]

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