TV SERIES | S1-EP11 – BACHELOR PARTY


Man:
Previously on WingMen…Rick:
You know the gravy train? It stops right now. This could be my salvation. Say I bought the place
and we call it Franco’s Deli. Frank Jr:
You didn’t even have
money for the sandwich. What am I signing? Doug:
It’s okay, Rick. Can we trust this guy? Nadine:
I don’t think so. Duffy:
Park it, park it! Lars:
Slow the hell down! Gino:
Brace yourselves! Vivek:
Okay, okay, okay! This is your wife that we’re
doing the surveillance on? Racquel:
What are you doing here? Woman:
Hi, Bill, how are you?
I’m Christine. Hi, Christine. Nice to meet you. I’m ready for you if
you want to follow me back. I will, I will. Christine:
So, I’m going to be
doing it in here for you. Are you coming in there with me? (Christine laughing) Are you kidding me? You’re lucky I wore
underwear today. Thank God. Okay, so, I’m going
to warn you right now, unfortunately, I
can’t spray on abs. (machine whirring) Okay, one, two, three. (Christine laughing) No. (Billy laughing) Okay, now, turn to the back. Christine:
Oh, yeah? Christine:
One, two, three. Ah! (Christine laughing) I got a tan line. I did it normal, and
then you lifted it up. (Christine laughing) (Laughing)♪ She said don’t
wanna see me again ♪
♪ Well, that’s alright,
it’s alright ♪
♪ I don’t
deserve another chance ♪
♪ Well, that’s alright,
it’s alright ♪
♪ I’m gonna
keep the pressure on ♪
♪ Well, that’s alright,
it’s alright ♪
♪ Give it another go
(It’s alright) ♪
♪ Lay it on some more
(It’s alright) ♪
♪ Sit her right on down
(It’s alright) ♪
♪ I ain’t gonna mess around
(It’s alright) ♪
♪ ‘Cause she knows
I can’t say no ♪
♪ She’s in control ♪♪ Riding in that
underground train ♪
♪ One thing I always
know for sure ♪
♪ I won’t ever shake the
thought of her ♪
Billy:
Well, we’re here at Zaza. We got some good-looking
women coming in for a little private interview. Hopefully, today’s the day
that I’ll find that right girl. Is Billy here? Yes, Billy’s here. Billy! Yes. There is a beautiful
and great woman. And now, two espressos. Who was your first? Is it a him or a her? What do you mean, is
it a him or a her? Well, I’m just curious. Bi-curious Billy. (laughing) Bi-curious Billy! I’ve met a lot of women, but– You’ve met a lot of women? Met, met. Why is it so messy here? Oh, I just had an
accident with the sugar. Date:
Oh. I really like you, and I want to just kind of– I
want to be honest with you, because you’re going to
probably see me naked and… Espresso for Bill. That is my heart. Date:
Very nice. Made special for a
specially great angel, huh? It have sugar? I don’t think you need sugar. I need sugar. Rafael:
You’re sweet enough. These guys have been busting
my balls all afternoon. Every time, they’re interrupting
me, asking me for sugar, asking stupid things. Anything you want,
bella, anything, you will get it. The Viagra’s kicking
in, you know. I’ve had this espressos. You remind me a lot
of my dad, so… Billy:
You know what, Kim? These guys are really, really
getting on my– My name isn’t Kim. Two espressos, please. Barista:
You sure? Billy:
Yeah, one more is okay. I’ve had a few. But take one. They’re good. You can just put your
number in, because I can’t. I’m a little edgy right now. Date:
It was interesting. Weird. Disappointed. I hope he’s not
having a heart attack. I’m not sure if he is. Date:
You don’t smoke? Billy:
No, not at all. So that’s not you that I
just saw out there smoking? I want to be a
nice guy, you know. I want to turn over a
new leaf and just start fresh and just find somebody
I can, you know, have a decent life with. Okay, slow down. (laughing) Well, look at the time! Franco:
Could we borrow some money? Please? We’re just going to go
around the corner there– I told you, I’m not in the business
of lending money. But I’m going to give it to you. We haven’t had any drinks! If you need drinks, then here. Don’t get me mad here. Okay! We got to have fun, too! Where’s Ricky? Where the hell are these guys? (chuckling) Yeah, no kidding, eh?Billy:
I don’t know what’s going on. I’m throwing them all
my best lines. I’m giving them
everything I got. Maybe it’s that freaking jacket. Every time you wear
it, you steal them all. You know what? I’ll take the jacket off. There’s a new Billy in
town, and that’s it. I’m taking over. We had major
cock-block going on. It’s not going to
happen anymore. Look at them. I’ve had a few drinks now. Now, I’m loosened up. It’s a different game now. I did the dating thing, but finally, it worked out. I’m single and fabulous. You’re single? Yeah, but I’m
not opposed to dating, because clearly,
I’m here with you. You know, look at us. Getting cigars. You know, we’re in a cigar shop. We’re happy. We’re making an
afternoon out of it. You good to hang around
with us all night? Yeah, as long as there’s
dancing involved. I got some great moves. Can you show me? Well, right here? Dancing in the street. Dancing in the street? Yeah, I mean,
finally, I’m happy. Let’s go. Alright, how do we do this? Let’s go. We got to know each other, and I really see something
happening in the future. He never connects, but
then he finally connected. And now he wants to get married. Maybe this is
the love of his life. Maybe this is the one that’s
going to keep him happy for 15 minutes. Who knows? Nikki’s here, guys. You know what
happens with Nikki? Tequila makes
her clothes fall off. Big time! I’ve seen this movie before. Billy’s going to get shit-faced, and I’m going to
walk home with the prize. When you actually interviewed me and you asked me about
my measurement… Look at you. You’re… 34Cs. Well, how do I say it politely? You’re not my type. Never mind the other
side of the bar. This is where the action is. Billy:
She’s really the woman I
was after and looking for today, and tequila makes
her clothes fall off, so– Thank God I don’t drink it. Well, it makes
my clothes fall off. Perfect. Ah, maybe he should marry Jess. I found the girl of my dreams! After, what, 47 of them? Lars:
Oh, show them the badge. Franco:
I forgot it. Oh, you’re off-duty today. Have a fucking drink, Large. Rick:
Anyway, look at these two. Jess:
Wow. Oh, you guys want some? Waitress:
More beer, guys? This guy comes in, and he goes, “Oh, I think I met my wife.” “Met your wife,
have you, Billy?” “Yeah.” I look at her. She’s 19. The guy’s 49. Two days ago, he’s
“tooken” Viagra. You’re driving me to drink! I don’t even drink! Salud! I was so excited
about meeting Jess and you know, my future
together with her. And all of a sudden, I
got bad vibes from Lars. He was with the girl, what,
six hours today? “We’re going to Vegas. I think I met my wife.” Billy:
I’ll throw this bottle
right at you, right now. I will smash your Viagra pills. Billy:
I will stick this
Crayola right up your nose. Alright, he got
me with the Crayola. Franco:
It’s ridiculous. What is he thinking? This guy’s going to
get married and settle down? It would really be my honour. Honour? Yeah, honour. On her and off her all night. (laughing) Oh, my God. Franco:
You know what? I’ll just go along with
this wedding fiasco. Nikki:
This is your big weekend. You’ve got to
go out with a bang. You really, truly do. Well, we’re going to do
some banging tonight. Lars:
I don’t think
he’s thinking straight. He’s been drinking. He’s been on the espressos. Mild Ricky:
I was starting to
get somewhere with Nikki. I might’ve had a shot. And next thing you know,
she’s lap dancing for Billy. Lars:
What the hell? You see that shit? What are you doing? You’re getting married, Billy! Oh, my God. I’m out. I am so out. She’s riding
him like Seabiscuit! Whatever happens at Jack
Astor’s stays at Jack Astor’s. (men laughing) Lars:
You’re going to Vegas. You’re marrying your new bride. The girl at the end was nice, but you can’t be doing
what you were doing with Nikki. Why not? Who do you guys think I
should do, Nikki or Jess? Rick:
Marry or do? Lars:
Marry, not do. You’re not
doing anybody tonight. You’re going home to make plans
for your wedding to Jessica. Rick:
You got to calm
your heartrate down. You’ve had a rough day. Lars:
You met 14 girls. 14 espressos. (Beethoven’s
“Ode to Joy” playing)(record scratching) You know what? I got to take a moment
to really reflect and… I love you guys. You know that. So, anyway, what’s wrong
with you two? You guys look like you
lost your best friend here. You seen him. What are you, upset? I can bet you your whole empire,
he’s in the handicapped, getting it on.Billy:
Yeah, I thought I’d just
come back for a little touch-up, because I’m going to Vegas. What was it not good enough? When, yesterday? Christine:
Yeah. Take it easy. You don’t want to, like,
get wet or anything. How about if I have
sex in the next hour? Will it rub off? You’re not going to
believe what happened. I met this girl, and I think I asked her to
come to Vegas to get married. I’m happy for you. That’s great news! What about us? I thought maybe we
had something going. Oh, man. Billy:
She’s got beautiful boots.The strombolones. I’ve thought about it, and it is time he settled down. He’s been a womanizer
for years now. She’s a little younger, but I mean, you’ve always
wanted them younger. Mild Ricky:
I just want to ask you, do you really love her? Franco:
Do you really love her? Why don’t I just
give you the answer so you don’t put pressure
on the poor guy, okay? Yeah. He loves them all. Franco:
Large. Billy:
Try getting some in
your mouth next time. Oh, is there something on me? (laughing)♪ I hear her voice resonate ♪♪ I hear her voice resonate ♪♪ From my dreams into my day ♪♪ I can hear
her most any place ♪
Billy:
Franco’s in security still, I just heard. Lars:
Gone back for the cavity search. He’s lined up three times. I don’t know if we’re going
to get him out of there. Unbelievable, okay? It just gets worse for me.Rick:
Dom and I are going to be
pranking these guys all weekend. We’re going to light them up
like the Fourth of July. But I mean, this is the end. Franco:
I got to relax. We’re going to have a
good time here in Vegas and we’ll try
not to get arrested. Mild Ricky:
We’re going to kick
this town on its ass. Billy:
Cheers, buddy. Both:
Cheers.Lars:
Well, we’re here. We got a great view. We got Hooters. It’ll be hard to keep
Franco away from the window with that sign there, I guess. Franco:
We need a cocktail, Large. Say you’re loaded,
out of your gizzard, like this guy’s going to be in
about, you know, 90 minutes. And he’s stumbling to the room. All he’s got to do– It’s called blackout. Are you watching? Look. (laughing) That’s the best! Billy:
Cheers. Lars:
Cheers, big ears. Billy:
Oh, he got the fucking kahuna. Here. Big toys for big boys. Remember. Billy:
Your girlfriend’s so ugly, when she was born, the
doctor slapped her mother. She’s so ugly, she has to sneak
up on the toilet to flush it. When she steps on a scale, the
scale says, “One at a time.” Franco:
Apparently, this is where all the movie stars,
fighters, celebrities stay. I don’t know
what we’re doing here. Come on, guys! Let me in! (knocking) See, they start the
party without me.♪ Shiny shoes, fresh cigars ♪♪ And moments like these ♪Open up! They’re going to arrest me!♪ Don’t really know the rules♪ Until you play the game ♪(metal clanking) No, don’t worry. I’m with them. Come on, boys. Franco:
You locked me out?♪ Oh, it’s perfect ♪♪ Take the plunge ♪♪ Make your mark ♪♪ And take a chance ♪Franco:
Incredible. Just over the top. This is it, man. Rob:
Rick doesn’t drink. So, all these guys are loaded,
hammered out of their minds. What are you talking about? You know what I’m talking about,
you fucking idiot. Rob:
And Rick’s just
feeding the fuel. He’s just, like, putting
gasoline on the fire and watching these guys
go out of control. They can’t handle their booze. And then you got Billy walking
around like a perpetual hard-on. (laughing) (Unclear)! Where’s Biana when you need her? Rob:
And they got some nurse playing hide the salsiccia. (laughing) You know, that’s how
crazy it’s going to be. And that’s part of the problem.♪ Moonlight ♪♪ Sweetheart hero ♪♪ All in ♪♪ Start with zero ♪♪ Nightlife ♪♪ Shadow of a hitman ♪♪ Thank God for my wingmen ♪♪ Deep end ♪♪ Head for shallow ♪♪ Knock you out like
George Chuvalo ♪
♪ Blue eyes call
me the money man ♪
♪ Time’s up ♪♪ Got to pay my wingmen ♪♪ Wingmen ♪♪ Wingmen ♪♪ Straight up ♪♪ Battle of my life ♪♪ Stand up ♪♪ Wingman ♪

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