Wait, My Spouse Can Change??? Marriage Myths… DKUJ


Welcome to another episode of Don’t Keep
Up With the Joneses it’s your boy Rickey Jones Jr. and this is Chrystle Jones I
feel like we’ve done these intros so many times you should know our names by
now but I’m gonna keep doing it because you never know when somebody new pops in
however as I did in last video I want to do a quick plug for our latest movie the
transfer which is doing phenomenal as far as views as far as reviews as far as
people letting us know how they felt about it liked it and just wanted more
of it please if you haven’t already done so I’m gonna just drop a link below and
they probably just saw the icon pop up because you need to check it out the
transfer second short film that we’ve done more to come do that okay but
this vlog isn’t about that it’s about our third episode of marriage myths
third episode Chrystle and hit you with the topic as she always does hit him
with it alright myth number three the person you married will always be the
person you married that’s a myth womp womp womp if you didn’t hear to the
first time she said the person that you may read will be the person that you
marry always yeah so what are we saying basically nobody stays the same person
forever that’s born anyway and even at the root
of things there’s no guarantee that somebody’s gonna stay the same in a
particular area forever so you have to realize that as people we evolve we
mature we grow and that’s a good thing right um with your spouse you’re going
to latch onto some of their behaviors, they are going to latch onto some of your behaviors it’s like you’re growing and evolving as
a unit and that’s how it should be so the way to get through myth number three
is to grow and evolve together key when you have major changes and things that
occur make sure you say something what are major changes in things like if
you decide you gonna go sit in the room by yourself in the dark listen to 50
podcasts on some new crazy religion and then come out and just expect you’re
supposed to be like yes I will follow what know what run what, what if they say
that like and that’s an extreme example but sometimes it could be just something
normal it may not even be a new religion but maybe in your faith you found out
some new information and instead of like just dropping that on your spouse and
expecting them to instantly agree and catch and run and walk with it allow
them time to walk through it and really the best thing is walk through it with
them listen to the podcast with them go to the service with them try to do
things that can facilitate major change in your life together when at all
possible um because even when you do a thing and you may talk to your spouse
about something that you may have learned or coming to the knowledge of
they could be the voice of reason to let you know no what you learn or what you
are attempting to do you should not do yes it could be a little crazy for an
example we just being honest this is what we do you boy read a book the book was
great I got to the end of the book and the book started talking about which if
you read this book, a lot of people have read this book, at the end of the book it started
talking about ability to speak to the dead right so I
was like alright cool like I remember in the Bible cuz you know we’re Christians
so I remember the Bible where like Jesus went up on the mount with James and Peter
with him or whatever change Peter and John the three anyway he took them up
you know the prophet Elijah and all of them they were up there talking so like
Jesus had talked to the dead in this Bible verse okay cool it’s been done
we can do it again so you know it said how you can like talk to the dead so I was like
alright cool like I’m about to start like praying and start like talking to
either two dead people and to people that were alive like I could do both
okay so I started to tell Chrystle about this capability that I read and heard. Not just
started to tell me we were on our anniversary trip this is true was it
four years five years one of them years we was on our anniversary trip
when you decided to tell me this so go ahead go ahead. Alright so we were on our trip and
you know I was just telling her like hey I read in this book that you have well
we have the capability to talk to dead people and I was like I don’t just want
to talk to dead people there are some people alive I want to talk to in the
spirit so I’m about to like pray and talk to these people in the spirit not
I’m about to he was like so for the past couple weeks I’ve been talking to dead
people and which that didn’t go well you know say I cried. I was like. And it sucked it was
like our first I think it was our first day on this trip. We went to DC, I was excited and I didn’t cry like I cried because I was
trying to understand but it’s like in our conversation and trying to talk it
out I could understand what was going on like I I started getting more and more
frustrated he started to get more frustrated with my questions because I kept
trying to ask questions so I can understand like okay what’s going on you
talking to dead people and you’ve been doing this every morning for weeks and it was
like two weeks but it was all of all I’m not gonna talk about the book or
whatever, all that to say that the experience read a book, decided to do something
correct follow the steps of the book felt like it was successful to the point
where I was like oh cool let me share this with my wife shared it with her she
shut it down and then from since then I stopped because you know I got an
understanding of was she showing some scriptures in the Bible which is a thing for
us as Christians and as believers we use the Bible as our authority we use the
Bible that’s the final say-so on the decisions that we make on the things that
we believe in do so she told me some scriptures in which she said or which
said that you know that is something that should not be done and showed me the
consequences for those who did do it in the Old Testament but nonetheless it
just wasn’t something I should be doing which you know I then prayed to Jesus
and God specifically and got the understanding it okay
yes she was right so I stopped yeah and it be just that easy conversation yeah
but it was like to just pop up and you just expected me be like that’s so cool
like yeah like could that have happened yes obviously it did not happen but you are
the other side of change as a spouse you have to be one willing to
answer questions in walk your spouse through what that change is you can’t
get frustrated and upset because they’re trying to understand why you’re making
the decision that you’re making how you came to the conclusion of what you’re
now doing what you feel is now right you can’t just be like oh stop asking all
these questions oh why, this what I’m gonna do and do it like no
y’all decided to live life together so you you have to be willing to talk out
whatever change is occurring and make sure that you both are on the same page
maybe you know it ranges from whether it’s spiritual stuff – whether
it’s natural stuff you decide I’m gonna go get a job in another state you you
just do that okay well you have a whole spouse right right like and
responsibilities that’s what you you just you just about to up and move to Texas
like you going to China now like yeah I accepted the job so we’re moving two
weeks from now we right you made it right you made that decision or even
then if you like well no I’m just gonna go you can stay here. I signed up for a
living situation like what so you know that there’s so many things whether it’s
moving jobs whether it’s quitting jobs whether it’s anything like it can range
the range can be so big um be ready for change because the person
you married the situation you married into it’s not always gonna be the same I
mean we moved from Atlanta to Tampa so as the topic is the person you marry
will not always be the person that you married of course why because people
grow people grow people change people up adapt like if you are the same person
that’s terrible actually that’s actually very terrible because that means that
you live a mediocre or repetitive life every day from the day you said
I do, to today when you’re watching this video you live the same life every day that’s
absolutely terrible like people grow bigger wider really not taller if you
get married like it won’t grow any taller you can shrink because you’re
hunchback anyway things change about people like you get to meet new people
like you become one like the person that you were as an individual should no
longer be the person that you are as one with your spouse so even that in itself
is a change that you as a person get to experience and the people around you get
to experience like your parents your friends your brothers like sisters all
of them get to experience a new person ideally because of the marriage in
itself so like you have to get out of the idea of oh my gosh like when we got
married like you said you’re gonna do this or used to do it like that or when
you know I called you used to laugh and giggle always at my jokes but now you
just look at me crazy like things change yeah okay maybe they’re tired of hearing the
same jokes or maybe your jokes not even funny or maybe they were doing various
things just to get you like things happen people do things for various
reasons in very various ways one point a time sometimes and time expires you no
longer get the things that you were getting before you said I do but it’s
not a bad thing because with growth comes new opportunities so get to know the person
that’s what makes it fun that’s how you can meet a person like we were talking
about her parents last week who were married for 40 years my parents been
married for 32 years now and that’s how they are having fun in their marriage
everyday because it’s something new that you get the experience with your person
the person that you’re married to every day so hey get out of that bad thought
that the fact that the person changes it isn’t the same person that says I do is
a bad thing okay and if you’ve read that book
just thrown it out the if you read that book and you know the name of that book
drop in the comments why because people need to know that at the end of the book
it gets a little dicey y’all don’t need to go through what I went through so I’m gonna
save you okay yeah I think you hit something really good somebody may have
been doing something before you even got married now you married and they not doing that
stuff no more whatever whatever things change and stop holding them
people accountable to what they say before you just start because things
change no I’m saying like things changing it’s
okay cuz the life changes around maybe you have kids now and that’s a totally
different dynamic than it was when you were dating meeting or when you got
married things changed like you said we moved we moved from Tampa to Atlanta
okay we moved from a town home thing things
change like I said my things change yeah and it’s all different things. He’s switched jobs and everything yeah and I was a student and when we first met
yeah I can’t still be a student I am I can’t have a student mentality yeah I do
have a mentality that I’m willing to learn every day and I’m not going to
classes I’m not going to class and then go in to work and it maybe seeing her
at night like that’s not the life anyway Mrs. Jones
you want to hit these people with a haymaker on the end what would you say
Wow it’s World Series season so you know haymaker I was gonna hit you with a
haymaker on the end I would say don’t fall into the myth that the person will
always be the same person and learn to embrace and encourage change in
your marriage by growing and developing together nice and since you didn’t ask
me the question I’ll answer anyway I would say to have fun and learning and
getting to experience life with the person that you said I do with every day
realizing that a new day is just that a new day and experience the person in a
new way I want to say Perrier I want to go rhyme but it didn’t rhyme. Anyway. Ha Ha. That rhymed.
No, thank you guys for tuning in for these videos there’ll be one more
myth that we’ll do next week and then we’ll go into some other topics and
stuff that I’m excited to get to uhm I don’t even know why we have to keep
saying this but if you haven’t already please go ahead and like subscribe hit
the bell so you know we have new things to pop up comment below if you read the
book please drop the comment the book is a good book into the end depending on
what you believe in and watch the movie okay you need to do that do those three
things four things five things all the things but have a great day don’t keep
up with the Joneses because you have a great life that you need to live out to
the full like that girl is doing right there live your life to the fullest we love you
as Chrystle would say

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