WHAT? I’m FORBIDDEN from working in China if I get MARRIED?!?

so cross-Cultural marriages are quite challenging because there are some big differences in the cultures between Well: getting married in China and of course getting married in the West Welcome to another video! So why have I just put myself through this hell? Let me set the scene: I’m here in a back alley in Canton otherwise known as Guangzhou And I’m going to go to a wedding but it’s not an ordinary wedding you know I’ve been to plenty of Chinese weddings this is a foreigner marrying a Chinese Woman. So a foreign man marrying a chinese woman. I’m going to talk about the sort of cross-Cultural marriages in this episode I’ve been to plenty I’ve got some footage from one of my black friends getting married here as well So stick around we’re going to talk about what these marriages, and these weddings are all about Now the most unfortunate thing about being invited to a wedding in China is that you have to pay So you have to prepare what’s called a “hongbao” like this The going rate down here in Guangdong is 500 RMB If they’re your friend. You can go as little as 300, but that’s in pretty poor taste So it’s expensive This of course doesn’t really matter all that much because it’s a bit more of an investment than anything else For instance the wedding that I attended here was a good friend of mine and he actually had attended my wedding a few years ago, and he had given me a red packet, so It evens out and this is something a lot of people kind of count on. You know when they go To friends weddings, they’ll always be very generous But then when it’s their turn to get married they’re going to invite all the people, you know That they’ve been to their weddings and expects it of a sort of a fat paid paycheck or Windfall at the end of it So it’s kind of cool, and it certainly does help pay for the wedding So let’s have a serious talk here. There are a couple of myths I have to get out of the way I have to dispel them. Number one: I do get asked this a lot people that are planning to live in China, or maybe they’re dating a Chinese girl online and they have ideas of coming here and retiring here or coming here to get married and then settling down or perhaps coming here getting married finding a job you know and Living with their their new wife Forget about it China does just does not work like the rest of the world you cannot become a citizen. There’s no naturalization process I know for a fact that if you go to the U.K for instance or America if you get married to a local there There’s a process that you can go through in order to eventually become a citizen of that country and of course because you’re married to a local person you’re immediately given certain rights, and You know you can apply to work and all that kind of thing you can do it if your husband Or wife is say British or American however here in China They’re still very backwards when it comes to that kind of thing because China is a very homogenous, sort of society so if you get married to Doesn’t matter if it’s you know husband or wife you are only going to be given What’s called a family reunion Visa or a family visiting Visa Which basically means you’re allowed to come and visit your wife or visit your husband but you’re not allowed to work on that Visa you’re not allowed to you know do anything that a normal citizen would be able to do you’re basically allowed to come here on an extended holiday To see your husband or wife now the length of this visa depends it starts as low as six months it all depends on the nationality that you are and of course your circumstances whether whether or not or not you’ve lived in China before There’s all sorts of things they take into account, and then they give you say six months, maybe a year. I got a two-year Visa And that’s what I should say residence permit. I got a two-year family reunion residence permit because I’ve been in China for so long and they could see I had years and years of Work permits and things like that, so they were like: “Ah it’s not really a risk. It’s like at two years” I don’t know if it goes any higher than two years, but I’m pretty sure that’s kind of the max. Anyway so at the end of those two years I have to go and renew once again and You know I had to go in for an interview with my wife when I got this this family reunion thing and asked a bunch of questions and I needed to provide a lot of paperwork and my wife had to provide a lot of paperwork, and it wasn’t a simple thing to do but it was definitely a lot easier than getting a work permit, I’ll tell you that much. Thing is, like I said, I’m not allowed to work in China I’m not allowed to do anything other than just sit around and visit my wife So that’s why all my work is now on YouTube because I’m not technically working for a Chinese company I’m not actually working in China, I’m not taking a job away from anyone in China, so there we go So I just wanted to dispel that myth You can’t naturalize and become a chinese citizen and get a Chinese passport. You can’t work here however Taiwan and Hong Kong a difference now I know China will say that hong Kong and Taiwan are a part of China And I’m not here to argue politics, but what I will tell you is that both Taiwan And Hong Kong have different government systems And so I have a friend who got married in Hong Kong and immediately he was allowed to start working there You know he’s going through the naturalization process which takes about seven years before he can get his own Hong Kong I.D and passport and stuff and the same goes for my friend in Taiwan who got married to someone in Taiwan and Immediately was allowed to start working and you know settle down and all that kind of thing So I just wanted you all to know that If you’re planning on getting married in the mainland to a mainlander doesn’t matter man or woman, you will not actually have any rights, you will not be able to do anything here in China, which is incredibly frustrating you know other than visit your spouse. Are you going to be accepted by your Chinese fiance’s family? Well It really all comes down to money Unfortunately, and that’s because in China money is God I’m going to give you a very good example of this: I have an African friend named Elvis, and he’s a fantastic guy and his Chinese fiancee, stunning stunning girl, her family would not accept him because he was black And you know this is something that has to be addressed and that is that Chinese people are incredibly racist and discriminatory when it comes to anyone who’s not Chinese I mean, they’re probably one of the most homogenous nations in the world and they’re incredibly they’re just very racist and that’s because they have for so long not been exposed to the rest of the World So if you’re anything other than chinese, and I mean it doesn’t even matter if you’re Korean or Japanese or anything like that You’re going to face a lot of barriers They’re going to be a lot of things put in your way But let me just tell you his story: so basically the family took a lot of convincing But after he proved that he had enough money After he bought him a car and bought a house because that’s kind of part of the whole traditional family thing here is to to make sure you have a house and a car for your Bride-To-be and Also, the family because they plan to move in with you later Once he done all of that and proved that he had the income and that he was a decent straightforward guy They eventually accepted him and they got married and they’ve been happily married for a number of years now And in fact, I think she’s in Africa with him at the moment, so you know that’s just an example of how money is probably the most important thing when it comes to being accepted because if the family could overlook this sort of racist nonsense and you know eventually allow him to go ahead and get married to her it just shows you that’s What China is all about: it’s all about the money So if you’re a woman you really don’t need to worry too much because in Chinese society it’s all about the man and The man’s family they’re the one who has to provide. So as a woman marrying a Chinese husband He is expected to provide a house for you, a stable situation in other words, he has to have a good job and Preferably a car as well But the thing is as a man marrying into a chinese family you’re expected to actually pay a dowry in a lot of cases. Now of course China is getting more and more modern and if you meet a very modern girl and You know she may be very outspoken and very wise in the ways of the world you know you probably don’t have to worry about a dowry but if you’re marrying somebody from a traditional family Especially if they’re from a rural family you will be expected to pay a dowry And it really depends on the family, you know, if they’re over low state as you pay later They’re of a high status you pay more. I have a friend who paid 10,000 RMB to get married to his lovely wife and that was an absolute steal And then again, I have another friend who had to pay 250,000 RMB to his fiance’s family So you know it really depends I personally did not have to pay any sort of dowry to marry my wife but our circumstances are a little different you know Basically what I’m trying to say here is you may be stuck paying a dowry Anyway, let’s brush the whole money thing aside for a while, and let’s actually talk about some of the big cultural differences First thing I’ll do is if you’re a woman marrying a Chinese man: be prepared for your mother-in-law to Pester you non-stop to have a child I mean literally the day after you’re married you can expect her to be giving you self-help books on how to conceive and Pestering you about having a child and every single time you meet with your family the Chinese family expects that whole like: “When are you going to have a child?” question to pop up it’s incredibly annoying and it’s It’s probably probably one of the biggest bugbears of any relationship here is that the traditional Chinese family will almost want to force you to have children the minute you’re married from a man’s perspective It’s also very Annoying as well because they will every time you meet them be asking about when you’re gonna have a child but of course it’s Less pressure on on the man more pressure on the woman because if you don’t have a child they think something’s wrong And it’s usually you know you might not want to have a child, but they’ll think: “Oh they don’t have a child because they can’t it must be something wrong with the… with the bride” It’s silly remember that China is a still a very traditional sort of a country and Although I cannot be said for everybody because the younger generation are sort of changing But you know still as it is people my age and and even younger still have to deal with all those traditional mountains Be prepared as the man to pay for everything the responsibility is all on you for everything now of course Cultural differences are so varied and we’re running out of time in this video But it’s not a big deal because if you look through my channel I’ve done so many videos with my wife that will make you understand the differences between the two cultures But not only that on the ADV China channel We’ve done videos about getting married, had some pretty in-depth conversation and of course don’t forget my friends C-Milk is also married to a Chinese local and His channel has got tons of videos with his wife as well and although she did study overseas So she has a very sort of western mindset They still have to deal with the family traditional stuff and all that kind of nonsense, too So I absolutely suggest you go check it all out Can’t wait to see you guys in the next video I really hope you enjoyed this or found it useful. I know it’s a bit of a boring topic for those of you who are not actually in any kind of relationship with a chinese person, but thanks for sticking around and ‘Till next time, you know the drill, stay awesome!

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  1. thats true money is GOD in China
    for example you dont have a place to stay if you tell and let them see you have money you will be welcome for all of them you will become family

  2. haha they plan to move in with you. hahah they want to make sure your friend bangs her right. the Chinese way

  3. Welcome mixed race male child you are really Chinese so from now on we will do our best to alienate you from your white father…

  4. Winston, I've never seen your or c milk (nor either of your wives put out a boring video..( What's his name, the dude from Canada, sometimes he's a little boring, because like he himsel said, he is a lttle immature. But you guys are always interesting. Or I should maybe say, China and Viet Nam and Mexico, etc. are interstting.

  5. Winston, I have the exact same visa as you. I worked in China for 5 years. Now in Japan but I have the 2 year residence permit. It's nice that I can be in and out of China easily but the fact that I can not work or do anything with it…. it's pretty useless. Not cheap either. Mine was around 800 RMB issued in the city of Ningbo.

  6. The gov really set it up so it makes it hard for whitey to date cuz he's over there beating all the cheeks .

  7. It's simple. Stop inviting the government into your marriage. Have your own ceremony, be husband and wife. Exclude the government from it. If you're in the U.S., sign a Living Will and other paperwork to give similar legal rights. Tax write off you say? They can keep it. It's not worth involving the government into your marriage.

  8. Let's be real, since the girls of those parents were aborted when one child policy existed, they should expect their son to die alone as punishment, they do not deserve to have a wife.

  9. Personally I’m ashamed of the whole dowry thing, it’s like the culture is staying in medieval Chinese empire

  10. Well , MARRIAGE is always a HUGE PROBLEM, if you marry the WRONG PERSON & for a WRONG REASON…!! Regardless of her or his NATIONALITY !!!! 🤔😣😥😝👰👦🙈🙉🙊🕵👇👎👎🖓🖓

  11. Can a mainland chinese person marry in Honkong with a dutch person?? Even if they both not live in Hong Kong?

  12. I been married to a Chinese native woman for 10 years, her family is very kind and accepting, never want money, not racist. You are too negative bro. Sounds like you been delt a bad hand. I feel sorry for you

  13. When humans deny God…Greed..money …stuff …status..
    Gluttony and pride combine as his replacement…always mass murderers and cruelty and death follows..

  14. Ik how u feel
    Arabs r traditional as well
    The family will ask u about when u gonna have a child each time u meet her parents or his parents lol…

  15. Most informative. My Chinese friends here in Houston have both mothers living with them. It’s fine as long as Mothers are getting along but hellish when the mothers are at odds

  16. Thanks bro…
    This is like one of the reasons why me and my Chinese gf are having a break right now…
    Love her so much…..

  17. women working in hotels motels are hard to find mates. they will be treated like hookers by mass population?


  19. I guess the dowry system is related to how much value the family attached to the ‘value’ of the daughter. A virgin bride will command a very high dowry price probably because the family consider losing a valuable member of the family in terms of the lifetime help in the paid fields whereas the modern and worldly city girl would have countless short term relationships and hence considered ‘damaged’ by their families and because they were already working far away from home they are no longer regarded as helpers in the fields.


  21. I have no idea why YouTube keep pushing his video to me. this guy is a shit maker. I'm gonna block this forever.

  22. It does depend of course but in general a lot of Chinese women are actually very rich some of them so a man paying for a woman or wife does not happen as much as it used to. You have to include as well a lot of Chinese women pay white men to date them it's billionaire industry in Chinese where they offer men $1000 to go on date with them I thought it was joke that but it's really common in China. One of my Chinese lady friends a woman paid someone $1000 to go on a date with her. I read about American guy who gets paid $90,000 to just date Chinese women a year.

  23. When you said "they wouldnt accept him because he's black" you reminded me of that hilarious scene from Lethal Weapon 2 "You don't wanna go to south africa" "Why not?" "Because you're blek" "Iam blek?" "Yeah" "He is… You are"

  24. Well, outside of traveling or on a vacation I no longer have any thoughts of moving to or living in China in the future…screw that.

  25. Most frequently used word in Winston's videos? "Unfortunately." That says a lot about life in China for a Westerner.

  26. I think being a foreign woman married to a Chinese guy and choosing to settle in China would be a lonely existence. She isn't going to be able to develop close friendships with Chinese women because that's not how things work in China. She could do freelance work or vlog, but would never be able to hold a job. She might get lucky and find some expat friends, but in most cases they aren't going to stay in China all that long. And when her in-laws become elderly, she will be expected to take care of them whether or not she gets along with them. Unless she sends her children to an international school where diplomats send their kids, her children will be taught that Chairman Mao is pretty much to be worshiped.

  27. You look frustrated!!! Leave China if you don't like the Chinese law or the Chinese customs. Please don't look so sour!!!

  28. In many ways my wife is an exception to this rule. She probably married me to get away from her parents and Chinese culture as much her love for me. 🙂 But don't think that makes it easy. My wife is tough as nails. Trust me you do not want to be on the receiving end of one of her punches 😀

  29. I live in Greece.. I met my Chinese girlfriend here .. so my question is if we get married in Greece can I get the spouse visa?

  30. Winston does have a certain level of understanding about marriages in China.However,There are a lot of variations in different regions. The form of the marriages are also heavily relying on the individual decisions. It can go both way in an extreme fashion. A large amount of Chinese parents would offer money for the new family to start their life. It is not homogeneous as you think because we have less resources from the govenment. Everything depends on the individual decisions , family ties ,and financial status a lot. Many people would be wondering why the housing price in big cities are so high. You know what? There is a possibility that there are 6 people maxim bearing the financial burden together. It is not easy to live in a deveolping country no matter where you are.

  31. I love to see your videos! Just a "stupid" question: Are there no regulations for use of a drone in a Chinese city? In Norway where I live, there are strict regulations…

  32. question if I may. If my wife (Chinese) and I retire to China and open our own business, can I work in the business that I open with her, or that she owns solo?

  33. As u say in China , no naturalization process. Reason is simple – there are already far too many people. Over 1 billion !
    The authorities would be more than pleased to get rid of its own people !

  34. I know your favorite word: "nonsense". I think if you count this word in all your vids, you'll be surprised. Regarding the topic, I was also married to a Chinese wife. Yes, I needed to buy a house. It was a sensible custom imo. People outside of China just won't get these traditions. But for me, I get it. It's very opposite of Western culture but eventually, I realized why they require a house from me. And I respect it.

  35. Family reuinion visa should be everywhere…cause nowadays it's dangerous to date girls/guys from other countries, cause of scams!

  36. It cannot continue. We will support only race relationships shortly.

    No matter what the propoganda activity of the commies and Islamists and luciferians say…this world your seeing now will not continue into their hands.

    There is about to occur a change in power 😉

    Babylon is coming down 🙂 these lowly suckers don't even see what's coming.

    They are 'wretchs'

    Down with the wretchs.

    Wretch; n. A person that is an Islamist, a communist, a Luciferian

  37. heh funny how the question was dodged on why he didn't have to pay for his wife. In other videos he has basically said why, but didn't bring up this topic mixed in.
    The wife was married before and so like "damaged goods" was the way it was worded in that video. So no need to pay to attend the wedding!

  38. I Am Australian lived in China for Ten years worked there as soon as i got married i was not allowed to work .I had to return to Australia . If I worked in China After marriage I was subject to low wages being black mailed for money so I could stay . Then they Can arrest you any Time . then you Need to pay all your money to get Free . whats the point . so I left . now there making It hard in Australia to get work . . The Chinese take you to resturants gIve you a girl friend . I wonder How many politicians they have done It too and have pictures of them in compromising positions . for Black mail . . It certainly makes you think .. . There ideology is spreading and It has to be looked into or they will enslave us all

  39. So if you got married in Hong Kong and leapt through all the hoops of fire to become naturalized after your marriage. Would China accept Hong Kong's naturalizement or would you still be regulated to the family visit visa only?

  40. I hate dowry. Is not like going shopping for a wife, instead it happens naturally between 2 individual. I have been living here for over 10 years, 2 years more than you and have come across many difficulties and culture shock here. I would love to meet up with you and share my years of experience living here with ya…

  41. Come to Thailand on a retirement visa,you just have to keep £24,000 in the bank or a marriage visa @£12,000.the visa rules are constantly changing here.all Asians are racist they hate us.

  42. I am planning to move to China and teach English so what your saying is if I get married to a Chinese man I cannot apply for a new contract to keep teaching English as well?

  43. If Serpentza has a child, then he should make certain the child is NOT born in China. I feel having the child born in the USA would be a far mile more practical. Because of Legal reasons if there was a divorce. Then child Jurisdiction will be where the child was born. Be a wise father if you want to be a father.

  44. How we are supposed to feed our family when you can’t work ? Not letting people work can cause illegal. Ways to work

  45. Excellent stuff, well done in style, manner and objectivity – no hype at all, and with praiseworthy modesty and humility.

    That said, one small question on the questions of money eg the bride’s family expecting the husband to buy houses and so on,
    when did the change from straight communist ideas come into practice or have people suddenly become comfortably off in
    financial terms ie even capitalistic terms I mean they ie the regime have certainly not thrown their Maoist stuff out of the
    window have they, with all their millionaires etc one might wonder on the one hand how can they speak on similar terms with
    say North Korea on the other how come they can’t be as it were on the same wave-length as Taiwan?

  46. Me and my bf think about our future together quite often :/ we think about how we are going to be able to stay together…we want to be together and live in the same country together but it's a very tricky thing to figure out how to do that…he was born and raised in china and he's a chinese citizen….right now he is attending school to get his bachelor's degree and doesn't plan on leaving the U.S. until he gets his master's degree…we talk about what he will do after he gets his master's degree…he wants us to stay together…he doesn't want a distant relationship…I don't think I could handle that neither…it's very heartbreaking to think about the whole situation 🙁 we don't know if we'll be able to stay together

  47. Watching that Chinese kiss "Elvis" made me nauseous…you shouldn't put clips of bestiality in these videos…It's disgusting and I think illegal…

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