When Your Parents Don’t Accept Your Marriage | Conception Season 2


My mom went to the same
hairdresser for 16 years. She calls me up. She’s just so angry. And I’m like,
“What’s wrong?” “I had to change
hairdressers.” “Did Rocky close his
shop down?” She’s like, “No. He’s gay.” And I’m like, “You
didn’t know? Doesn’t he have a son
with his supposed best friend who’s male?” If we were going
to screen people, my parents would not
have been people that should have had children. One week after I was in China,
Lehman Brothers collapsed. I didn’t come back. I had a job that I loved,
and then I met Richard. For the next 60 days, we
went out every single day. And I would meet
his friends, but I wasn’t meeting his family. This went on for
almost a year. And then he came
up to me and says, “My mom would like
you to join us for Chinese New Year Dinner.” There was never a
discussion about us. His parents would
invite me to weddings in the family, his dad’s
birthday, yet no discussion. Richard would put
on his wedding ring, but he would take it off
anytime he saw his family. I knew that it was going to be
hard for them to understand, but I’m like, “You
have to tell them.” He’s all upset. I’m like,
“What’s wrong?” He’s like, “They
don’t accept us.” And that was devastating. They may say
we can’t do this. But, you know, over time,
they’re going to see that’s not true. Ian is from Richard
and Eli is from me. When we heard the two
heartbeats, we were both crying. Sometimes, it’s just surreal. When the boys were
born, Richard’s parents would only want to see
pictures of Ian or FaceTime to see Ian, and even made
suggestions of Richard taking Ian and
going back to China, or Richard divorces me and
marries an American woman. What occurred to me was
by the time we got to the, “send them to school
in China” craziness, we had actually
made progress. We weren’t separating
them anymore. We weren’t
divorcing anymore. It was, little by little,
moving to acceptance. Richard is their only child. His parents love
him very much, and he loves
his parents very much. So I know that it isn’t
from a place of hate. It’s from a place of
just not understanding and needing time to adjust. But it is really, really
hard because it’s your kids. And you’re just like,
“How could you treat anybody like that?” A family is not
just a structure. A family means that there
is a loving environment. I never felt that I
could ever come out. They wouldn’t
have accepted it. My childhood is not what
these kids are going to have. We will teach them
to be themselves. We will teach them
about both cultures. We’ll teach them to be
respectful of people, of differences. They don’t see yet. They don’t understand
voices yet. But they’re going to
start knowing who we are, and they’re going to know
who your parents are soon. Nobody should go through
their formative years thinking that there’s
something wrong with them. Ultimately, whatever they
choose in their own life, that’s O.K.

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Comments

  1. This is so emotionally moving, and it really reaches deep within and strikes at the core of what everyone wants from life, to be loved for who they are unequivocally.

  2. Loving and devoted parents regardless of their sexuality is what a child needs growing up. Many blessings to you and all parents just trying to raise their little ones in this world.

  3. Parents 'children are not parents' possessions. Of course you should respect your parents as a family, but you do not have to get your parents' consent when you get married ,.
    If I persuade my parents to get their consent, would not it be a welcome marriage for everyone?

  4. accept: 2 : to give admittance or approval to (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)–Sirach 42:1 Of these things be not thou ashamed, and accept no person to sin thereby: 2 Of the law of the most High, and his covenant; and of judgment to justify the ungodly;

  5. Goldman Sachs may lose 20% of annual profits, corruption – Wall Street Journal
    http://www.trust.ua/news/164449-goldman-sachs-grozit-ogromnyj-straf-iz-za-sgovora.html

  6. Why do you illustrate them with black noses?

    All I can think of is the image of a Mt. Everest climbing mishap survivor.

  7. I'm in my late 20s (now early 30s) when I went to China for work. After 3 yrs, I met my chinese ex-bf who was just 22. He went to China military before going for university. He would always tell me that we can't be together forever as he'll have to marry a girl later. Every time he'd say that, I felt pain but then again that's what the reality here.

  8. Makes me feel extremely lucky to have an aunt on my side of the family and my wife's parents who accept us. It hurts knowing that parts of our family don't want to see us anymore. Like me marrying a woman changed who they had always known.

  9. They got married bc they loved EACH OTHER (parents) so why can't your child have a happy life with someone they also love is what I hope most homophobic parents will ask themselves…

  10. This isn’t about lack of tolerance or understanding-his parents love him and want to set him straight (no pun intended).
    If your child “LOVED” killing people, would you support them?
    If your child “Loved” lying would you approve?
    If your child “Loved” stealing, would you allow them to keep doing it?

  11. Oof I felt this. I want to tell my sister soon, with the hope that she'll understand… This whole experience is so sad and so wrong to go through just because of who you love. Great story and really lovely animation to accompany it!

  12. My family abandoned me for dating a black man (we're still together and talking about marriage). It didn't hurt me because I didn't have a great relationship with them to begin with, but I can understand the meaning behind this story and the hurt that they must have felt. I hope things keep on improving for you both.

  13. There's a thing called natural law, there's a reason why two men can't naturally have children. There's a reason children come into this world with a mother and a father and to say that it's fine do deliberately deny a child that is ridiculous and unjust to that child. Yes something is wrong, it's a disordered desire, just like some people are sexually attracted to objects or children, being sexually attracted to someone of the same gender is a disordered desire.

  14. also this made me even more emotional than i already am :') the animation and music made this video so touching and beautiful !

  15. Don't want people to push their beliefs on you but wants to force what you believe on them at the same time. To want a person to accept something they don't want to just like they tried to do to you. Hypocrisy at it's best ! On both ends.

  16. I know what that is like I'm married and been together for 4 years and my family does not except it. By the way he is Mexican. And his family does not approve of the marriage. So I know what this cuple is going through.

  17. how funny you talk about family but you lie to your family. doing something without discussing and doing things behind your parents back. imaging one day your kids, disrespect you, doing things behind your back then you know how hurtful it will feel. this is not about 'did not understand' or 'do not accept'. this is about not telling the true and keeping things behind their back.

  18. Respect is a two-way street. Parents can't demand respect without being willing to give some back. This is a respect issue.

  19. Meanwhile…
    Mom: So, when you get married…
    Me: Mom I'm not gonna get married. Ever.
    Mom: But when you find a nice boy…
    Me: Mom, no.
    Mom: Or a girl!
    Me: That's not the point, mom!

    My mom doesn't care if I married a sea turtle, she just wants me to get married lmao. And that's one of the last things that I want.

  20. No No just Nooooo!!!!
    The idea is disgusting🤢
    call me homophobic but this is disgusting you know there are women to love right? they don’t just exist to produce children!!!!
    Oh and just because it is 2018-2019 doesn’t mean i have to except this disgusting situation 😡

  21. I'm asexual, not interested in dating or marriage, and haven't told my parents. When I once suggested that I were to live without a partner for the rest of my life, my parents looked so shocked that I'm not sure I would ever really want to tell them. They're great parents, don't get me wrong, but to an extent our beliefs just don't match up.

  22. This hit so close to home. Holiday season is particularly tough. Hopefully one day it will get better, just a little bit.

  23. I cut off my parents for this reason. I don’t need the toxicity of a dictatorship in my life. My parents raised me to be strong, to be resilient. It’s just sad that I’m using these skills on them right now

  24. Honestly most people wouldn’t be allowed to be parents if they were screened, including my parents. It’s hard to find somebody with a good, functional family or parents.

  25. It's your child, but it's his/her own life … whatever choice s/he makes, it's your role to support her/him … Will never understand this tendency people have of putting their nose in others' business … nobody has this right, even if they're the parents … one's life is personal… it's private … it happens once and if you ruin it, you're a criminal … everybody deserve to be happy and acceptance is the first step towards it.

  26. Why does the animation show the blonde child going to the blonde dad and the Asian looking child going to Richard? Both boys are their sons

  27. אתם תועבה בגסות מגעילה עם החוצפה לגדל ילדים . לך לעזאזל.

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