Where The Bears Are – Season 7: Episode 4 HOUSE PARTY BEARS


Do you guys really still think
we’re not being stalked? I mean, come on, we all get notes
with the same handwriting. And why did he single me out as fat, okay? I mean, come on, you guys
aren’t exactly Timothy Chalamet. Doesn’t this stalker know
I’m taking fucking martial arts classes? All right, Nelson, calm down. – You know, I am concerned now.
– Well, I’m concerned too. Someone is breaking into this house
and leaving us threatening notes. Oh, and I just found semen stains
on my bed, just like Whitney Houston
in “The Bodyguard”. Yeah, except they were probably mine,
so it probably doesn’t count. ♪Where the bears are
We wanna be♪ SEASON 7: EPISODE 4
HOUSE PARTY BEARS This stalker could be anyone. Do you know how many crazies
we’ve pissed off over the years? (no audio) Tristan, does anyone else have access
to the codes for the door locks? I don’t think so. I change the access
codes with every guest. We should probably change them now,
just to be safe. Wood, this whole thing started with you
and that hookup of yours the other night. I need to track that guy down and talk
to him. What do you know about him? I don’t know. Let me check out
his GROWLr profile. Oh, this guy’s hot. It’s not him
but I’d totally blow that guy. Completely, yeah. Check out Daddy. Oh, I would work this daddy so hard. Oh, there he is, see? Nice, thick cock. Practically a chode, really loves rough
sex and is totally into domination. Oh, that’s perfect.
I’m gonna add him to my favorites. Oh, dude, you will not regret it. Did you happen to talk to this person
at all during the hookup? Uh, no, it was a little hard
with a ball gag in my mouth. But he did mention that he worked
as a security guard at the Air Museum. Okay, great. That’s where I’m heading now. Well, I’m going with you. Nelson, I can handle this myself. He may be dangerous. Let’s go. Now Reggie, as the owner of the pageant, I have to insist that you behave yourself
with these contestants tonight. We can’t have any appearance
of impropriety or favoritism from the judges. Tristan… I am shocked that you feel the need
to say that to me. I know how important
the pageant is to you and the bear community at large. I would never, ever do anything inappropriate
or embarrassing to you or any of the contestants. Hey, Mr. Vermont… flop that sweet ass down
on Reggie’s lap! Yeah, oh, baby! Work it! Work it! All you boys better work it,
to get Reggie’s vote. Come on, baby.
Oh yeah, oh yes, spin that ass. What a lush. Apparently, he’s like a serial
sexual harrasser too. I heard he got caught groping Cheyenne
Jackson at last year’s GLAAD Awards. He’s like a gay Harvey Weinstein. Quit spreading rumors. I mean, Reggie’s just a little tipsy
and enjoying himself. Besides, I am lucky to have him
as a celebrity judge this year. Do you know about his insane
social media reach? No, but I can see him reaching down
Mr. Vermont’s pants right now. Yeah, oh yeah, spin that ass. God! Oh hey,
you’re that choreographer guy, right? I am. And you’re that bear porn star. I am. Wood Burns. You know,
I’ve done a little dancing myself. – You don’t say?
– Yeah. I did a movie one time where I tap dance with a pig-tailed butt plug
sticking out of my ass. Sorry I missed it. Lately, I’ve been toying with the idea
of doing a big, splashy hardcore musical with singing and dancing. Maybe some blowjobs. Oh, God, please don’t. I even have the perfect title: “Joseph and the Amazing
Technicolor Dildo”. Of course you do. Hey, would you be interested
in choreographing some of the numbers? You know what? I’d rather catch Ebola. Are you getting to know
your fellow contestants here? These queens? No thank you. I’m just ready to beat their asses
on Saturday night. That’s not very nice
or sportsman like. You need to get to know
some of these guys. Whatever. Aw, come on,
it’s not about winning or losing. It’s about competing
and raising money for charity. You know, I’m not liking
this competitive side of you at all. Well, you better get used to it,
’cause I’m taking these bitches down. See you later, Daddy. So, I guess I’ve been
topping you for years. Excuse me? Our states: Nebraska, Kansas,
top of each other, get it? Yeah, I get it. Look, buddy, just because we’re from the
Midwest doesn’t mean we’ll become besties. Okay? I didn’t come here to make friends. I came here to win this thing. (scoffs) What an ass. Wood, have you met Skip?
He’s hosting this year’s pageant. Hi. You look so familiar. You probably recognize me from my work
on television. I’m an actor. I am too. Hey, have we worked together? Were you my love interest
in “The Spy Who Felched me”? No, that wasn’t me. Skip, I have to tell you, I’m a giant fan. I have been admiring your work on “The Big and the Bountiful”
since the very beginning. Thanks. My character, Spider,
was so rewarding to play. Well, of course he was. I mean, you’ve been kidnapped,
gang raped, lobotomized, you have PTSD, OCD, NPD… Don’t forget Lyme disease. Oh God! So, are you excited to be the host
of “Mr. Bear America” this year? Absolutely.
It’s a very important cause, and… a proud tradition
of the gay bear community. So true. That is weird, because I overheard Bentley
talking to Tristan earlier, and he said that the only reason
that you agreed to take this job was that you were a washed up has-been so desperate for validation
that you’d take any job, including being a clown
at a kid’s birthday party. Cheese? Mmm. Not for you. (techno music playing) May I have your attention? The pool and the hot tub are heated
to the perfect temperature. So grab your bags, change into your
swimsuits, and let’s have fun in the pool! (all cheer) There’s a snake!
There’s a snake in my bag! (screaming) Oh my God! What the hell is happening! Do something! You! You! You! (gun blast) I’m from Texas. Ahh. ♪Where the bears are
We wanna be♪ ♪Where the bears are
Where the bears are♪

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