Why aren’t you married? How to talk about being single!


Hi, there. My name’s Ronnie. Maybe you’re watching www.engvid.com
or maybe you’re watching me on YouTube. Thanks. Awesome. I have a question for you, though.
How old are you? Yeah? Okay. Are you married? No. Do you have a problem with
this? Because I know before I got married, I had no problem not being married, but other people
did. For example, my friends who were married, maybe they were jealous, other people who
I worked with, and people who I generally met from day to day. So, today I’ve got a special lesson for you people
who are not married. This lesson is called: “Oh My Gawd, You’re Not Married Yet? What’s
Wrong With Her? What’s Wrong With Him?” So, people automatically assume that if you’re
over the ripe age of 30 and you’re not married, there’s something wrong with you. Maybe there’s
something wrong with the other people who want to tell you their opinion of how you
should live your life. That’s what I think. So, I’m going to go through some terms, some
of them slang, some of them more traditional, and reasons why you can give people why you’re not
married yet. And it’s none of their business, really. I was fortunate enough to have a mom
who didn’t push me to get married. Thanks, mom. Does your mom push you to get married?
-“Come on, get married, get married.” -“Find me a handsome guy, mom, who’s
not a dick. Maybe I’ll do that.” So, first of all, people are going to say
behind your back, which means not in front of you: “What’s wrong with him?” Most of the
time people will say: “He must be gay.” Because every man out there who’s not married just
must be gay. This came from a long, long, long, long time ago. There’s an area of history…
An era of history called the Victorian Era. They didn’t admit to people that they were
gay because that’s wrong, or that was wrong back then. They had this really amazing kind
of sneaky word to say, a “confirmed bachelor”. Now, if we lived in the Victorian times and
somebody told you that they were a confirmed bachelor, we would know that that means
that that man is gay. Nowadays, we just go: “He’s gay.” Or if you’re a gay man, you say: “I’m
gay.” But gay men can marry, so yeah, there’s no excuse. What I’m going to teach you is the difference
between men and women being married and not being married. So, if you’re a man who’s not
married, we have a word called a “bachelor”. This is a very common, very famous TV show
called The Bachelor. If you’re a woman who’s not married, you are a “bachelorette”. If
you know anything about French or if your language has masculine and feminine, you would
understand that the “ette” part makes it a girl. So, we have the male is a bachelor or
a confirmed bachelor, and then we have the female as a bachelorette. So, if you are a man
and you’re not married, everything’s fine unless people think that you’re gay. If you’re
gay, that’s fine. The confirmed bachelor. But if you’re a woman and you’re not married,
we got some really bad names for you guys in English, especially if you’re old, like
over 30. So, we have two names that are not good that we substitute for a bachelorette,
because a bachelorette should be young. We have the word “old maid” and a “spinster”. So,
an old maid and a spinster are older women who have not yet married or never will
marry. So, this goes back to the question: What’s wrong with her? Why did nobody marry her?
Hmm. This is what we call in English a double standard. “A double standard” means what is
acceptable or in society for a man, bachelor – it’s not acceptable in society for a woman.
So, a man who’s over 30 hasn’t met the right woman yet, but a woman who’s over 30 and not
married is a spinster or an old maid. Double standards are not cool at all. Then some people, tragically, have lost their
husband or wife. This is a very bad thing, but we actually have a name for it. Now, the
one for women are… Is most common that you know. If a woman has lost her husband, she’s
called a “widow”. Be careful. Not a window. “My mom’s a window.” Your mom’s a window?
“Widow”, “widow”, there’s no “n”. Okay? So, “widow”. And if you’re a man who’s lost his
wife, you’re called a “widower”. I think that you guys probably have heard of “widow”, but
not “widower” because in the history of war and health problems, women seem to live longer
than men, so widows are more common than widowers, but they do happen. Another reason why maybe you’re not married
is maybe you were married, but your marriage was not so good in the end and you got divorced.
So, if you got divorced, you would be called a “divorcee”. This is a noun. All of these
words, here, I have put a “n”, it means a noun. So, a divorcee is a man or a woman who
has been divorced. Are you divorced? No? Me neither. And we’re back to our double standards
for women. A woman who has been divorced would go to a bar, have a good time, maybe find a
young boy to amuse her. If this happens, this lovely lady is called a “Cougar”. A cougar
is slang for a usually divorced lady who likes to enjoy herself after a couple refreshments
at the bar, and have some fun with younger men. As a man, though, we do not have a cougar
counterpart, because in our society, unfortunately, it’s quite normal that men would find a younger
lady to amuse him if he’s divorced, or married, or single. So, this double standard
exists I think a bit too much. On to the adjectives. So, we have some adjectives…
Adjectives to describe your situation. You’re not married. Oh my gawd. So, you can tell the
person: “I’m divorced.” This means, once again, your marriage has finished. Bye-bye.
You can say: “I’m happily divorced”, which means this was a good thing for you. Bye-bye.
You can say you’re recently divorced, this means it happened not too long ago. It’s not
telling if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but the person knows that
it’s a new situation. People can also be separated. Now, “separated”
is one step away from being divorced. So, let’s say that you and your husband or you and
your wife were fighting a lot, not really having a happy marriage, a lot of people choose
to separate. So this means they live in different rooms, different houses, different cities,
and they try to continue their relationship. So, they’re not yet divorced,
but they’re separated. Of course, if you’ve never been married and
you aren’t married, you would be single. I’m single. Okay. And there’s another term that
we use a lot for maybe tax purposes or to help us explain to people what’s happening,
although you never have to, we have an expression in a lot of countries called “common-law”.
So it says: “We are common-law.” Common-law means that you live together, you’re in a
relationship, and you’re been living together for quite a while. I think, legally, it’s
six months, but it could be six months to a year. So, be careful, maybe you have a boyfriend
or a girlfriend and you’ve been living with them for six months. So, under the government’s
eyes-dunh-dunh-dunh-dunh-and they are brutal, you will become what’s
known as common-law. I’ve also seen one thing here that again,
Ronnie-hello-has made a spelling mistake. Do you make spelling mistakes? I do. Let me just
change something, here. This word: “seperated” actually is spelt s-e-p-a-r-a-t-e-d,
so always check your spelling, Ronnie. If you have questions about
this, you could ask people. But remember: What somebody does behind
closed doors is their own business. And if you’re really wondering why that person isn’t
married, why don’t you think about it before asking them? Maybe it’ll make your
life a little bit better. Toodles.

About the author

Comments

  1. thank you so much ronie it 's gonna. help me becuse I really need to learn different kind of vocabulary

  2. I'm thankful I watched this video it helped me understand that there are different categories of marital statuses and I'm clearly single for the time being. Also, we are all in foundation where we are free to make our own choice s of our own way of life even if it's personal so I must say that even if there's endless amounts of encouragement from society about benefits related to marriages it's best to know that regardless of what others think of us we are free in our own way and like what Emanuel Peirera said, free will is a blessing. Thank you engVid for explaining to me about that information it absolutely helps me with making the right decisions for relationships. Take care and much love and appreciation to you because you are great so keep at it okay👍😎.

  3. Ronnie, thank you very much! I learn a plenty of vocabulary with in an easy and amusing way! I really appreciate your that you are an open-minded person, this makes your lessons even more interesting! I hope you never get bore of making videos!!

  4. If you want to improve your English – join to our english speakers group in skype! 🙂 https://join.skype.com/jRpbDz2xd4jU

  5. What a perfect teacher u r 💜💜
    Anas from Egypt gives his regards to u and my friend said to if Ronnie reply to u I will give you100 pounds😂😂
    Plzz reply me I don't have any money right now😂

  6. Thanks for the video! My parents keep asking me for grandkids and I don 't even have a boyfriend, I got also asked if I'm gay and been told I'll die alone and live a sad life if I don 't hurry up, attract a guy and have kids .

  7. ronie u r vry good teacher in you tube's ..urs teaching way is very ostentatious …i always learn many things about ur videoo…u r my bestie … bossom

  8. You know I didn't know what's going wrong to me because when you speak i can understand you but when i try to listen to i fail to listen very well what is wrong by the way let me know my problem

  9. Hi folks! I'm great with a perfect deep american accent.sorry for being selfish.anyhow, i just wanna say that I'm open to anyone in english as a partner.my discord id is " justin97#9016” .just message me and start the conversation. That's it.see y'all

  10. I don't wanna seem hairsplitting, but according to Macmillan dictionary: a divored man is divorcé, without the additional -e at the end, which would be for the female form. https://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/british/divorce_3#divorce_3__1

  11. And old battle ax going after a younger man is called a cougar; An old fart going after a younger woman is called normal.

  12. A different lifestyle breaks patterns. People like patterns. They need the patterns to predict a perspective and survive by following the pattern.

  13. There is something wrong with you indeed: you are infected with a virus called feminism, you look like a man, your gestures are same as an MMA fighter and I guess you fucked over a 100 men.

  14. Ronnie
    I like your videos .
    I watched a lot of them .
    I wish you continue doing them
    I like your way of explanation

    By the way
    I am English teacher

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