Why Is Marriage A Thing?


Hello and welcome to assssssskkkkk Cristen.
I landed in the ocean. Whomp-whomp-whawhawha. Your questions after the intro. So hello everybody as you can probably tell
I am not at home but I am at work on the set of Herstory the Stuff Mom Never Told You history
show that you should totally be watching if you haven’t already and if you have then forget
what I just said. No actually just watch all of those videos again. To kick things off
I wanted to share a few comments from last week’s video on ‘Don’t Fear the Break up’
because you all really spoke from the heart and I appreciate that. EbyKat said, ‘I always
remind myself that no one ever died of a broken heart. I know at the end of various relationships
it’s always like love will never happen again but I always reminded myself to keep trying
because I felt the same thing last time and was proven wrong.’ LIza G said, ‘I’m terrified
that I’ll be alone forever? What if I go through life without ever being in love?’ I think
a lot of people are terrified of ending up alone and that maybe it would be helpful to
change that what-if mentality to a what-is. If you spend so much time being terrified
over a future that you can’t control whatsoever you’re going to lose out a lot on the present.
SausageDogss, that’s with two ‘S’s’ wants to know, ‘What advice would you give for people
who are scared of commitment?’ You need to figure out what exactly about commitment you
are so scared of. Having to be monogamous for the rest of your life? Getting hurt? Getting
bored? Get to the bottom of that and if in the meantime you get involved with somebody
then you need to disclose that commitment-phobia. But not on the first date. Question of the
week from Kaitlyn D, ‘Why is marriage a thing?’ she wants to know. ‘As in why do two people,
already in love, need to be together by law? What makes it such a big and important thing?’
It’s interesting that you mention two people being in love because when you look at the
history of marriage, love is a relatively new wrinkle in this whole situation. Marriage
historian Elizabeth Abott actually wrote that, ‘Love was considered a reason not to get married.
It was seen as lust, as something that would dissipate.’ Marriage as many of us know started
out as economic arrangements. Marriages were extremely successful ways to do things like
bond families together, bond larger communities together, combining resources, maintaining
peaceful relationships, even brokering diplomatic unions. Obviously there’s the whole procreation
aspect. So this brand of marriage as economic arrangement goes on for centuries. It’s not
until the Industrial Revolution that we start to see the shift of marriage away from just
being a practical financial arrangement to perhaps a union of two people who are genuinely
in love and want to be all like [kissing sounds] I love you, I love you. For example in 1840
the wedding between Queen Victoria and Prince Albert was a huge deal. If you think that
Kate Middleton and Prince William was a big deal, forget about it. It was hailed as being
revolutionary for being a love union. As a symbol of how big of deal this wedding was,
the reason why brides often wear white these days, because of Victoria. Perhaps because
of those more practical, economic underpinnings of the institution of marriage throughout
history, if we move into the present day it is still highly incentivized for practical
reasons. Social scientists for instance find that people who are married tend to be happier,
healthier, live longer, and now the wedding industry is still such a big deal because
we’re constantly being told that it is this marker that we’ve arrived into adulthood,
there’s a certain legitimacy to it. Marriage is still a big thing because it affords privileges.
That doesn’t mean that you have to spend the average $26,000 on a wedding. I want to hear
from you, what do you think about this whole marriage thing? Why do you think it’s still
a big deal even though frankly marriage often gets a bad rap these days. Let me know in
the comments and as always, ask away and I’ll do my best to answer. Stay terrific and I’ll
see you next week.

About the author

Comments

  1. I only got married to make my wife happy, honestly.  It wasn't a priority, and I don't feel like it was a milestone in my life.  It just means that if she kicks me to the curb then I'm pretty much screwed into being poor the rest of my life.

  2. I'm 18 and I find the concept of marriage later in life somewhat confusing. The idea of being tied down for the rest of your life (even though divorce isn't exactly uncommon these days) almost seems like a trend. I don't understand why marriage is, at least now so crucial to maintaining a long term relationship. Of course, this is all probably because I'm 18.

  3. I don't think getting married is for everyone. If you don't see the point of getting married then why get married? I want to get married because I want that promise that we will stay together forever, I know it can be said without marriage, but somehow making it known to everyone, and mushing your lives and families together makes it that much more of a promise. 

  4. I hate how back then and even now, marriage is strictly political and for children.  When two people are in love people tell them they shouldn't get married but this is when the two want marriage!  I know marriage isn't for everyone but don't force it or stop it.

  5. I'm a little squee happy right now that Christen used my comment. 🙂
    I think marriage is great if you want to get married, but it would be even more awesome if people would remember that marriage is hard work and life doesn't go smoothly. Be forgiving, honest, and willing to compromise. Learn how to fight with your partner in a healthy way. It goes a long way to making a lifetime commitment work.

  6. I think marriage is a really risky business to get yourself into and I want to make absolutely sure that the person I intend to marry is right for me and going to be right for me for the rest of my life. 10 years of living together is a minimum. For now, I don't think I'll ever want to get married.

  7. Disney, now I think with the generation I'm in everything is because of Disney. (Probably not a direct consequence of Mr Disney himself, but then again maybe it is?)

  8. Ive succeeded in most parts of my life. I have a career I love, decent income, a car, health insurance and all that grown up stuff. But  people still look at me as if I'm a failure because I am not in a relationship or married yet. My family recently described me as "still single." ……Why does our society make marriage seem like such an essential part of life? Those who are single, or couples who chose not to marry always seem to be look down upon. 

  9. Scavenger hunt: Unsolved Movies. The tortoise's shell, mustard & bun, chalkless, half a Greg Kinnear. Ready…Go!
    Winner gets a kiss.

  10. My parents have been putting me under a lot of pressure to get married. Especially since all my younger siblings are married, and I've been single for 7 years, Ive gotten used to being single, But I am very lonely…..Does anyone have any advice on coping with loneliness?

  11. Marriage is an amazing commitment you make with your best friend, your life long love, you want to share everything with your husband/wife. Marriage is the safest way in which to bring up kids in a loving home where you put your whole life into bringing them up. Marriage is also about selfless love, serving your husband/wife's needs whom you'd do anything for

  12. Don't know the answer to the reason why people marry. I guess it psychologically makes people feel secure. Weird since most marriages end in divorce. I love being married and really don't wish to be with someone else but I guess there is more respect for women when they are o.O silly…. Yeah but it is somehow. This earth is a bit weird :/

  13. That's something I wonder about too, but a big thing I see is the legal status. If you're unable to make decisions for yourself, those decisions go to family members or some other person you designated as having such power. That marriage certificate makes your partner into a family member and able to make decisions on your behalf where your parents or siblings may not know or care about what you'd want done. There are bound to be other legal benefits besides tax status, but it's well past a time where my thoughts make any sense.

  14. I pretty opposed to the idea of getting married for myself, but others seem to make it work well for them. I don't think I can be monogamous with someone for such a long period of time without getting bored or falling out of love. I also don't think that privileges should be afforded to people just because they are in love.
    Unlike many other Queer people who are opposed to marriage though, I do not see it as "oppressive" or "heteronormative." We've seen the institution of marriage change since it's days of dowries and business transactions, I think we can see it change again to be more inclusive of all people who want to cement their love and maybe get some tax benefits from it.

  15. Do u think only gay guys watch ur videos on a regular basis? Cuz Im a straight guy who does and has no problem with that I LOVE ur videos, BUT I do get a lot of that crap from people regarding different things like music I listen to, movies maybe, etc etc as if straight guys gotta b glued to sports and dumb fighting movies etc

  16. Ow and about marriage: idk really, whenever I think of my future its my job and traveling and meeting different people, cannot really fit marriage into that picture (I already have a lot of difficulties even managing long-term relationships):)

  17. I say marriage is an echo of "traditional values" and personally would like to see government recognition of relationships go away all together. The only reason my husband and I got married was economic. We love each other dearly, but that's not a reason to got married in our opinion. We only got married because our insurance goes down, we gain tax benefits, and we can make decisions for each other in medical emergencies (which would cost thousands of dollars to arrange via a lawyer). Our marriage cost $45 because we just went down to the bureau and signed the papers. 

  18. Why do men have short hair and women long hair? When did that happen and why has that become a 'thing'? As in why do people say to a girl with short hair "you look like a guy!!!" (happens in my school)

  19. My partner and I don't care to get married which is funny because everyone in both of our families expects me to be pushing for it as the stereotypical woman. The only reason for us to want to get married would be the benefits from the government that come with it. (Taxes, hospital visits, etc.)

  20. To those curious as to where I got my shirt, I found it at American Apparel on super sale. (side note: "The Thrifty Nickel" may be a nickname of mine…)

  21. My husband and I don't really believe in marriage as an institution, but we still got married because he is foreign and it made visa issues a lot easier for us. But really, in Australia defacto relationships have the same rights as marriage so unless its an overseas love thing there is no real benefit to getting married. Apart from the presents.

  22. Religion is another really important factor in the history of marriage. I'm just glad I live in a time and country where I can get divorced too.

  23. Well I am getting married in a week and I love the thought of when we have kids our family all having the same last name. I mean we already have a house together and I just like the idea of in my eyes making it "official".

  24. My husband and I got married by a minister at the courthouse because i saw no need to spend tons of money on a huge wedding. And we got married because we are Christians and that is our morals and beliefs system. And there are societal benefits to being married (entire family having the same last name, sharing health insurance plans, sharing car insurance plans, and the list goes on….and this saves money as well) I don't believe in divorce and I believe couples should be able to work through any problems and grow old together. I've been with my husband for 7.5 years and married for 5.5. We have had ups and downs but we have made it to the other side of mutual respect and truly love one another in a new way….life is hard, marriage can be hard and that is just how it is. Shouldn't take the easy way out.

  25. To me, marriage is really just an experience. It's more of a celebration of love than a bonding of two people. I mean the two people are already bonded, and it's not really much more of an engagement to the other person than it would be to simply stay with them forever, but it's a really nice way to just scream to the world how much you love each other, and also to promise each other a happy life together. I don't think it's a necessary thing, but still a nice idea to daydream about =P

  26. $26 Grand!! Ours came in at around $6,000 for everything and it was in a different state, 3.5hrs away from where we were living.

  27. As a married woman who feels meh about marriage, it is beneficial in aspects of child rearing. Love is very important, but it's also important for reproduction to know and have a commitment from the partner that they will be there to provide, protect, and ensure the livelyhood of the family.

    Some experts believed we only started monogamous relationships because we started walking upright. We couldn't carry babies on our backs and carry food, our pregnancies got longer and our infants became more defenseless as intelligence grew. So monogamy isn't natural, but beneficial, and marriage is sort of a social and economic representation for it.

    Something interesting about our two closest relatives and their relationships. Bonobos actually have sex with all the males, and the males, not knowing if the offspring is theirs or not, help the females take care of the babies and protect the troop. They live in one of the most harmonious and peaceful societies as well, as opposed to chimps who fight for domination for breeding and often have conflict within the troop and females often commit infanticide and live more solitary lives. 

  28. I never dreamed of getting married to anyone. If I had to, then it would be more for our own benefits (insurance, ETC). Even then I wouldn't want to be tied down as a housewife or have a traditional family. I can never imagine that for my life. I think a lot of people just want to get married because that's what society expects from them. Paying over 20 thousand dollars to plan a wedding is one of the most stupidest thing I've heard of especially when you divorce or aren't true to each other. You could be paying your bills or going to travel the world with all that money. No way am I going to stay in one place and live my life as a wife and mother. I have so much better things to do than what society tell me to just cuz I'm female. I'd like to have my freedom and do as I please.  

  29. I think the concept of marriage has either died or evolved.  That it is no longer the glue to bondage, but the bondage of in its' self unites families and/or communities.

  30. Hello Kristen, i just started whatching your show 😉 I have this question… do you believe in soulmates, like a great best ultra friend + sexual desire + partnership for life? Thank you for your attention 😉

  31. People make such a big deal about marriage, and I never understood it. I mean, you can always get a divorce, it's not like it's permanent. Now, once you have a kid… That's permanent.

  32. I think marriage has evolved into this thing that people do to have a party and be the centre of attention and get gifts, and then after a few years realize that they weren't done looking for a lifemate.  If most people knew what it actually took to keep a marriage healthy and thriving, they would just opt out altogether.  Marriage is such a very beautiful journey!  But marriage is also tough and gritty and sometimes deeply heartbreaking and to get the beauty of it, both parties have to be fiercely loyal and fiercely determined to choose to love and show love no matter how gritty it gets.  You get married because you love your partner…you stay married because everyday you wake up CHOOSING to still love your partner.  By God, it's the hardest journey you will ever take, but if both of you put your partner first no matter what, the beauty of what you are living will be worth all the pain and struggle.

  33. Well.. Oddly enough, getting married is one of my top priorities in life – I don't care as much for how the wedding itself it, but being married afterwards. A bond I can spend the rest of my life to maintain.

    You know, even by the time people do get married, they usually don't know the other person completely yet – Thus, divorces and so forth – Which is mainstream these days. 

    I hardly know the 'legal' benefits of being married in Norway. I haven't given it much thought at all. I just know it've become one of my top goals in life, followed by raising a family. .. And here I am, age 20 and not even sure where I'm headed in life. Hurh.

  34. Marriage is actually a way to give a woman her rights..Hold on, I'm a woman so don't think i'm being sexist. Here's my logic: If a couple are living together and are not married, the man is not legally obliged towards the woman yet if they are married then he is legally obligated to care for the woman, so it might be economical on the surface but it's also a guarantee of sorts for the woman that she will be looked after when lets say she get pregnant and cant look after herself as well as she used to be able to, not just economically but physically and emotionally also. Then when a man and woman have a child together and are not bound by marriage then he can say he has no obligation towards her and just take off- which would suck for a new mommy! I mean seriously doesn't she have her hands full as it is?! By law a father is obliged towards his children & up until recent scientific discoveries of paternity tests a man could just simply say that a child is not his – unless they were in fact a married couple, in this case no one would believe him unless he provided evidence. So that's why men are more afraid of marriage then women are, because it basically means they have to be responsible. That is also why men are usually the ones that propose marriage, because they are showing their significant other to-be that they are willing to be responsible for her well-being and the well-being of their future offspring.

  35. As evidenced by my photo I am married and I find it to be a thing in today's society not so much as a means of "love" but, as a way of saying, "look I found my best friend and we are going to be besties forever!" Understanding that if you look at the real world of true best friends they do things together, not together, fight, makeup, etc, etc. When you find that in a partner, living together can be great for a while but, sometimes people just want more proof of a lasting relationship. On a side note we were together for 10 years before we actually got married. 

  36. I married my husband almost 4 years ago and we are doing great. We don't believe in extravagance most occasions so we got married at our local court house for $20.
    I wore a purple dress I got for free and paid for it to be altered and revamped. I bought shoes at a thrift store. In total, we paid about $68 dollars just in clothing and marriage. Our reception was catered by myself and I had a great time. We went to a concert after and it will be something I remember forever.

  37. I'm getting married soon. For me, it is more practical than not. Being in the military, in order to stay together (physical location) we must be married, besides that there are financial insentives and of course the whole love thing. But you can love someone and not get married to them. I think if we were not in the military, we would both be more willing to have a civil partnership versus a marriage. While there are great insentives to marriage, there are also negative aspects. For example, you cannot just walk away from a marriage when issues arise. 

  38. Ted-Ed came out with a real good video on the history of marriage. Procreation and the merging of families and property is a huge responsibility not to be taken lightly – which is why human beings came up with the concept. 

  39. Here is a brief sliver of one side of the marriage question: Fewer and fewer men want to enter marriage. Why? Alimony unfairness and the archaic lopsidedness of it appears to men to favor women–making women, in this case, more than equal under the law. (I'm not talking about child support here.) What rational creature would enter into such an unfavorable contract? One who feels the irrational pressures to marry lest he miss out on a legit and sanctioned life. It's an illusion. The whole happiness myth of marriage is completely blown when children arrive. Yes, children destroy the married life, but that's probably another, but well documented, topic.
    cheers!

  40. I don't really care about the marriage part as much as the wedding part, because you've most likely already been together for some time. That part won't change. BUT! I do like weddings. You get to celebrate your love your love with friends and family. It's something I really want to do in my life.

  41. I grew up in a religious community where marriage was just expected, and I followed that for a long time. I fantasized about my wedding and had it planned… except I could never actually see myself being with someone that long!!! Near the end of my last relationship I realized that all I wanted was the shiny ring and the party, not the marriage. So I decided that I would work on myself, by myself a ring and have a fun party with my friends and marry myself. 

  42. I just find it odd how every single civilization that ever existed has adopted marriage, and furthermore, they all have similar aspects. I wonder why this is.

  43. Tax break that comes with being one household? =D Or the romantic idea of committing to a person on a specific day that you've planned and set aside for. Some believe marriage will help save a relationship, though I've yet to see this work. For myself its just another thing in this big world I wanna do with my lover to have the memories. A day we can both look back to and say that was crazy but awesome! =D

  44. Here's a semi personal story. As I was growing up. I never thought I'd be thinking the way i think now. But since I was younger i always thought that "I'm going to be a single, strong woman a who doesn't need a man by her side. I always had this independent way of life that made me not want kids. Or even a family. Now that I'm 18 and in love. All i want to do is marry my boyfriend and have a happy long lasting family with him. I dream of being a mother rather than a professional. Is it just the teenage hormones talking or are my thoughts normal?

  45. I'm super duper happily married. My husband is brilliant, handsome and sweet. I only suggest that others marry someone like that. We dated exactly 2 months, we eloped with a minister in our apartment, $125. We have been married 8 years and it's just perfect for us. It is WAY different from dating.

  46. I thought that legal marriage was a big deal because it offers both parties certain legal protections. Like medical decisions, access to shared funds, and for men it automatically gives you joint custody of any children you may have with your spouse.

  47. I was with my now husband for almost 6 years before he proposed to me and even though our actual relationship is still quite the same I feel that being officially married makes you learn to work things out as a couple instead of feeling like one bad fight could break you up in a snap. There's a feeling of security and also a need for more patience and learned selflessness. 

  48. I have no problem being alone. People who get lonely are unfortunate as it's just like any other disease that one then has to look for a cure. Marriage is total BS, obsolete, and irrelevant. It's draconian and should be abolished/illegalized.

  49. I love my wife more than anything or anyone else but the whole marriage thing was really more for practical and economical reasons. Taxes, health benefits (in the military, getting married allowed her to be on my health care plan) and such.

  50. more people married to drug or gambling or alcohol these days hehehe until they realized that they need to change and humble himself (guys) to get a non-barbie good woman, perhaps not too late 😀

  51. I know that I want to spend my life with my current boyfriend, but I don't know if I want to get married. We both don't want kids, and all of the weddings I've been to have been really sexist. I just find the whole concept to be dated and not necessary. It's weird that we have to be legally bound to others and can't just have social ties on our own in private. And I really don't think that the concept of marriage is realistic or right for everyone, considering how people constantly change throughout their life, and wants and needs change as well. It's pretty childish to think that most people will be successful and HAPPY in this type of agreement. But at the same time, I could see myself happy with my partner and grow old together. Marriage sounds comfortable.

  52. I don't want to have or raise children, and I don't want sex, so getting married doesn't make sense for me and it wouldn't be fair for the theoretical spouse I'd marry. I'd get married just to have an emergency contact, basically, someone who'd drive me to the hospital in emergencies but otherwise leave me alone. I have no interest in pleasing my community either.

  53. This video was made for people like me I guess.
    It's been pretty simple for me. I have never understood the need for marriage, even aftewr knowing how it started out and what it is today. Two people in love can stay or not stay. And the law or any religion has nothing to do with it. It is also funny because when I mention the unnecessity of marriage, people call me commitment-phobic. So for people now, marriage is like a goal. Like something every human being needs to achieve at some point in their lives. This, is out of my understanding.

  54. Ugh, I just can't get enough of your videos. I have never been the type to learn by reading, I can't remember anything I read, so I have learned SO much from your entertaining and educational videos. I feel like I am going to the coolest school ever in 2015 at 29 years old. Thank you!

  55. Because of religion and the sexual shaming with which it indoctrinates people. If Romeo and Juliet weren't taught that sex before marriage was a sin, they could have just had sex and moved on with their lives instead of killing themselves because they couldn't get married to have sex.

  56. I love my girlfriend more than anyone else, and I can really see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I doubt that we are gonna get married. We both come from parents who divorced, and honestly, I just don't really believe in marriage. If we were to get married, then it would be for tax benefits, or to be considered each other's family. That's it.

  57. When you like a girl and actually get together, fall in love and she says she loves you but she gets married to some other guy and makes a baby then divorces and calls you, says she loves you again… you want to time travel. however it won't happen so you want to be a harem king, lose respect to marriage, even dislike to hear about it, and decide to be selfish single guy. After that you realize things work better that way for you and your perspective about girls and world changes drastically. you laugh less, listen to music less, make jokes less, instead you become more serious person in every way, care less about what others think and worry more about your goals in life, retirement plan, investments, reputation etc… i am not sure if it is growing up or just being heart-broken but one thing is for sure: after 22 my ideas changed, now rather than giving rights for gay or polygamous marriage, I would simply revoke all marriages and laws associated with it if i had power to do so.

  58. Here is my opinion. Now mind you this is from what i see and Practical Experience. Not theory.

    What is Marriage?
    Marriage is the State Backed Contract that you sign when two people come together to become one unit.

    What cons are there?
    -The State gets to rob the other person and transferring wealth to them they did not work for
    -Promotes Hostility if you consider your other "my wife or my husband"
    -Promotes Jealousy if a partner doesnt get the attention they are supposed to get. So they seek a 3rd party to fill that void. Which breeds Jealousy.
    -You are now one Unit. One spouses debt is YOUR debt
    -Promotes hostility in terms of finances
    -Lengthy and Expensive Divorce Process
    -One partner gets a bad deal almost always(generally the male gets the bad end)

    What Pros are there?
    -Tax Credits( which breeds dependency) for children
    -One person may not have to work
    -Use the Government for Financial Gain
    -Government can imprison a partner, Confiscate Property and Fine them on YOUR behalf
    -Set Terms and Conditions
    -Feels Good(at least at first)
    – More social benefits
    – More Status in some cases

    Now some History of Marriage.
    Historically Marriage had nothing to do with Love. It did however had something to do to A) Transfer money B) Transfer Land and C) Status
    Nothing more.
    Also poor women can rise to the upper class if she marries. Thus doubling income, property and bearing children with less financial hardship. It was popular for Prostitute to marry to rise in Status and Power while still selling herself but to Senators for Influence.

    So what is an alternative?
    Cohabitation of course

    Pros of Cohabitation:
    -you retain your individual identity
    -you are responsible for your own finances and your debt is yours only
    – The state is not involved as much since no State Backed Contract was signed thus no consent
    -you can still raise a family and two people can now do it much more efficiently because they retain their own identity instead of being one
    -Promotes Personal Responsibility
    – Allows one person to leave the relationship without the State being involved and transferring wealth to the other person(remember no Contract no money for you)
    -Promotes superior bonding. Remember when two people are dating and one person neglect the other its only natural to find a 3rd party. In a Marriage you can file for divorce or live the lie. If you only Cohabitate you can leave with no State being involved and no financial burden and no robbery. Or you can share partners
    -Does not promote a person as "property" You know the saying "that's MY wife or MY husband". You dont own them so they are not YOURS.
    -Promotes Open Mindedness
    -Promotes Flexibility and Happiness
    -You can file for Social Services as each person. If your married you are considered one person already. Now you can file as two people.
    -Each person brings their own money in.
    -No Joint Bank Account(which is a bad thing anyways)
    – Every action you do is 100% Voluntary and not Coercive
    – More incentive to actually work since your other isnt giving you money. Now you need a job

    Cons of Cohabitation:
    -Less State Credits or Tax Benefits
    -Less Social Status
    -No defined contract or Terms and Conditions
    -Less likely to have children because your working which means the State will raise the child instead of you. Plus you cant use the State to sue your "lover" as easily

    Just my take on things. I often compare to Marriage to a Single Payer State Backed Prostitute Contract. I mean you are selling your body for housing and money. May not be directly but indirectly you are. Think about it. Your poor and he is not. Get married, you get his money by voluntary means or you can use the State to make him pay you(theft) i know its a devious scam but people knew the rules or they wouldn't be married. Many people will find out the hard way. A piece of paper doesn't mean you love someone, it does mean you dont trust that person. Because you will use the Government to make him give you money. Eventually if you decide to divorce.

    Cool Random Facts about Ancient Rome:
    #1- In Roman Times Bachelor Men had to pay a tax for being single
    #2- You could not have sex with a non slave . If you wanted sex as a single male you needed a Prostitute. By Law.
    #3- having sex with a slave wasnt considered cheating as slaves were considered physical property
    #4- If a wife is ordered to sell her body by her husband she must do it
    #5-Rome offered many Social Programs to encourage Procreation. They would pay you more money for each child since the male children can be conscripted into the military thus promoting Imperialist State
    #6-Gladiators would often become prostitutes for High Class women
    #7- Senators owned brothels but in public denounced them as "evil"
    #8-The person on the bottom during sex is the Woman by default.
    #9- The person on top is considered a Male by default
    #10- It was considered an insult for a Male to go down on a Female as this was seen as being submissive.
    #11- Female prostitutes made more money than a Male Laborer
    #12- Female prostitutes expended less calories than a Male Laborer
    #13- The Phallus was considered a good luck charm and thats what the Chevron on military ranks are supposed to be
    #14-Homosexuality was very different then. If you were the one penetrating then you are a Man. the Bottom was considered to be insulted and giving up control
    #15-Bestiality in Rome was not unpopular(still legal in 30 states i think). The Greeks did Bestiality for Religious reasons while the Romans did it for pleasure and entertainment
    #16- Pederasty was also popular

  59. Reading the comments made me ashamed for wanting to get married. I never wanted to marry before I met my current boyfriend. I think he's the perfect match for me but apparently marriage today is a waste of time. I'm bummed.

  60. Not into marriage. My boyfriend & I have been together almost a decade. Neither of us has ever been married. At this point, marriage would just be a formality. My family don't approve, but I guarantee that my relationship is healthier than any of their marriages. All they do is bitch about their respective spouses.

  61. Love the quote "to combine resources, and unite communities and bring people together…" some such stuff. Ya, because look how well that's worked out in world history. I think it's bullshit. I don't think it should even be a thing, legal or otherwise. This idea that two people can get along with one another for 50-70+ years is just soo antiquated. I think part of the natural consequences of modern science is that people have begun to realize how pointless legacy building is in that matter and how in the ultimate analysis of things we are not going to survive, so it's meaningless.

  62. Please, kindly refrain from using the word "like" as a verbal pause. You are far more intelligent than this and it destroys your credibility. You are for more articulate than that.

  63. G. K. Chesterton wrote a wonderful little essay titled, "The Superstition of Divorce", regarding people of his day changing marriage by adding divorce. He illustrated that the people wanting to change the 'thing' are those who have no understanding of 'thing' that it's the height of foolish hubris. To wit: [[ They are like people who should say "Give me three feet of dog"; and not care where the cut came. Such persons fail to see a dog as an organic entity; in other words, they cannot make head or tail of it. And the chief thing to say about such reformers of marriage is that they cannot make head or tail of it. They do not know what it is, or what it is meant to be, or what its supporters suppose it to be; they never look at it, even when they are inside it. They do the work that's nearest; which is poking holes in the bottom of a boat under the impression that they are digging in a garden. This question of what a thing is, and whether it is a garden or a boat, appears to them abstract and academic. They have no notion of how large is the idea they attack; or how relatively small appear the holes that they pick in it. ]] The same applies to modern discussions on the institution of marriage, often by those who have no understanding of marriage and have not themselves been married, and even more often by those who have only seen the recent 'modern' idea of marriage (that really resembles the ancient concept very very little) judging not just that modern marriage based on that, but all marriage across time despite of being entirely ignorant on the subject of anything other than the modern iteration of marriage… people who even then are ignorant of having experienced the modern iteration of marriage. To make it worse, they also often chose as their exemplars, bad stories of even modern marriage being done poorly as reason to condemn all marriage past or present, or they chose to use the characterization of marriage in the 50s created by those in the 60s who wished to see the institution destroyed… use it as though it were a legitimate characterization of marriages in the 50s. I'm sorry if this is difficult to understand as I'm finding it difficult to express. Marriage is not now, nor should it ever have been the bugbear we've made it. We no longer make distinctions between 'good marriage' and 'bad marriage' and just refer to all 'marriage' with the pejorative 'bad' in our minds. We even have the condescending hubris to tell people who think that they have a 'good marriage' that they are wrong and they really have a bad marriage because all marriage is bad and they've just been brainwashed into believing <insert whatever feminist, SJW, free love, whatever rhetoric here>.

  64. legal marriage gives spouses protection that common law does not. that's why marriage equality is such an important right for all people to have. legal protection.

  65. Tbh i like the idea of marriage and spending ur life with the person you love and it does have legal advantages (that i only found out about bc of why gay people actually want marriage equality) but i dont like huge weddings lmfao and if i ever hot married it would probably be rlly simple tbh

  66. Well, this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but for me, marriage is a big deal because I'm a Catholic and can't and don't want to have premarital sex. I know it will never become an issue for me though because no one wants to date me, let alone marry me, but I guess that's to be expected after the sexual revolution and all… SAD DAY

  67. The truth is marriage is Biblical. and marriage is about Love and is simple. Modern corporations take advantage of this global trend to make money, and they pressure people into through marketing, which distracts people from the true purpose.

  68. there’s nothing wrong with being afraid of commitment, monogamy is not for everyone and that’s ok
    the key is to find a partner who doesn’t want a monogamous relationship either

  69. Marriage is a legal vehicle for entrapping a man into 50 years of servitude to a spouse, children, in-laws, home and mortgage.

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