Why Marriage is The Best Financial Move [with Chuck Bentley]


hey everybody I am excited today because
I have Chuck Bentley here the CEO of Crown Financial which is just one of my
favorite organizations they’re just the biggest Christian financial ministry out
there and they’re doing some awesome things for the kingdom and Chuck is just
an awesome guy who I’ve looked up to for years and so I’m so honored just to be
able to speak with him today and to be able to bring him on the podcast and to
do a video with him so we’re gonna be talking a little bit about marriage and
money and Chuck wrote a book kind of tackling some of the issues with this
and so we’re gonna talk a little bit about that but Chuck thank you so much
for taking some time out of your schedule to come hang in to help our
readers and listeners well thank you Bob I want to just return the compliment
we’ve been big fans of yours for a long time from the day you started I remember
the buzz around our office there’s some kind of doing Christian personal finance
and he’s reaching a lot of people online and so we really loved it and we we were
fired up for you and my wife follows you on Instagram to this very day she knew
about Oliver she was up to speed what I told her I was going to be on
with you today she was like Oh tell him I said hello I love his work and so we
we really are grateful to be here today Bob and it’s my opportunity to thank you
for the good work that you’re doing yeah well that means more than you know
I really appreciate that and yeah I mean I I’m excited that we
both get to kind of run arm-in-arm pushing forward this cause that is both
near and dear to I think both of our hearts so anyway all right so Chuck
wrote this book which is called Money Problems and Marriage Solutions and I
want to talk a little bit about this because I get a lot of questions from
readers about how to handle some of these challenges that inevitably pop up
even in some of the best marriages when it comes to money and yeah and Chuck has
a really interesting story here so I want to talk a little bit about this so
Chuck can you tell me a little bit because you and your wife Ann, Ann right
yeah you guys yeah I mean you hit some bumps in the road with your finances in
your marriage at some points can you talk a little bit about that and a
little how you worked through some of those
things yeah we don’t come from a position of strength in fact my wife
would not agree to have her name on the book with me unless I had a disclaimer
that we’re still a work in progress fearful that I was going to say we were
like the poster child for how to do this right and we’re far from it we should I
mean really really struggle we would say we loved each other you know we we got
married and had high hopes and aspirations and we got along well in
most areas except for our finances yeah what we found out is that that’s kind of
the most critical area and so where we thought it was sort of a tangent to our
marriage it turned out to be a central issue and a real key problem we admit
that we didn’t get along in this area we didn’t agree in this area for 21 years
yeah that’s a long time because it’s a testament to my stupidity and my
stubbornness arrogance I thought I was right about it she thought she was right
about it and so we missed the opportunity to work together just missed
it and we look back on those years and we thought what if we could help couples
not miss those early years we could help them get in sync and enjoy the benefits
of what I think marriage offers which is a real solution to your financial
problems you know Bob a lot of young people think that marriage is a
financial constraint in and of itself that you know we should just live
together or we should figure out some way to to not put our finances together
but all the research indicates that that’s absolutely backwards it’s upside
down marriage actually as a financial premium it is not a liability and so I
we studied it not only did we Ann I got on the same page but we studied the
issue and realized that one of the best things you can do for your finances is
to be married be faithful in your marriage and be on the same page
financially in your marriage yeah yeah it’s interesting you brought that point
I remember you mentioned it right the beginning of
the book and I yeah you said marriage is not the cause of our financial problems
in fact it’s a very best solution to our financial problems and like that’s
something that I mean I was taken back I’m really I’ve never thought of that
and we hear the contrary I mean you know from you know talking heads and from
random people making comments but that’s really exciting and it makes sense that
God designed it this way you know what I mean
well certainly Bob think about this the Bible says two are better than one and
so we tend to do that math like this well if two are better than one then maybe
our finances will be kind of a double improvement but the numbers actually
show that it’s better than that yeah one of the I think it was Vanguard or
Fidelity did a study of the amount of money in savings by couples versus
singles so just a just a we’re not whether they’re Christian or
non-christian but just just looking at how much money they have in their
account what do you think the premium was if you were married versus single I
have no idea but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me yeah good good idea don’t fall
for my trick question it’s not double it was 10x really
married couples had ten times more savings than single people at these
trading houses and they looked at that and thought something’s going on here
and I looked at it I thought yeah I know what’s going on two are better than one you help each other yeah but you’re missing the premium in your marriage if you’re
not if that’s not how it’s kind of working out for you if you’re stuck like
we were and you know we think that people can accelerate their financial
health and the ability to flourish if they can get on the same page that’s why
we wrote the book that’s amazing 10x like that’s that’s so cool
that’s really exciting all right let me ask you this um and like I mentioned
originally earlier I get asked you know like I’m sure you get this question a
lot but a question from readers generally
goes something like this like I am working really hard on getting our
finances in order but my spouse doesn’t care there
on the same page and what do I do and that’s always been a question where it’s
been challenging to me because as you know there’s so many variables there
isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to this question but I know that you have
you know met with hundreds or thousands of couples I know that you have you know
going really deep in this you’ve written a book what you know how can you shed
some light on some answers that you found for questions like these well I’m
happy to be specific without sort of going all the way through the process
that I wrote look what we found is that most people give an answer to the
question that you just got like my spouse doesn’t care you know we can’t
work together on this they give an answer that assumes that the mechanics
of finances will solve the problem mm-hmm what’s their first mistake the
budget doesn’t solve the problems of a marriage it helps I’m pro budget you’re
pro budget we like budgets but to make the assumption that the budget is going
to fix the marriage issue is wrong yeah I realized that there were there was so
much more to it that Ann I’d never captured in our in our conversation or
in our teaching but a friend of mine actually in Brazil called so I want you
to come and teach couples on money and marriage but I don’t want you to talk
about budgeting and saving and debt I don’t want you to talk about the
mechanics and I thought to myself at first what should I talk you know like
what am I going to say yeah and then I realized wait there’s a
whole lot more to it than just a mechanic’s especially in that case that
you just mentioned and there’s not that uncommon where one person is sort of
passive about it and another person is maybe aggressive or too aggressive
trying to compensate for the passive one and what I found is there’s usually
somebody hurt in the marriage b]Bob just from you know speaking in general about
the experiences we’ve had the person that’s passive has usually been hurt and
they just hit the eject button or they’d hit the you know the capitulation button
I’m just not gonna engage because I’m gonna get because it’s a super sensitive
topic and I’ve really thought a lot about why is it so sensitive why is it
such as a supercharged area where there’s a trigger if you know it’s
brought up I think for two reasons one is that a man feels completely
disrespected if his spouse is complaining about the finances it’s
painful in a deep way of our sort of our identity yeah I’ve been there I’ve I
made so many financial mistakes that I was silently fearful that my wife would
leave me for my mistakes hmm I didn’t say it to her and if I had if she would
have probably said no but I knew that it was bugging her and I knew that it
attacks her need for security and so if she’s got a need for security and things
are going well and she brings it up to you and you feel threatened or
disrespected but also there’s a wedge and there’s a wall and there’s a
relational barrier and you just stop working together you know you kind of
say okay you do that you take that part you know yeah and that’s where I think
the enemy starts to win the battle that’s where the 10 X Factor gets
destroyed and where couples actually start to go backwards financially and
they can’t figure out why it’s not working for them and the issues they’re
not working together now and I think God designed us to be mutually helpful and
so I would say to that couple I’m sorry I’m giving you too long and it’s fun no
that’s a great answer I would say that couple the first thing you need to do is
not a budget the first thing you need to do is to get reconcile with each other
and ask for both to be engaged appeal to your spouse
I want you engaged and that’s really where we come up with our first step in
the book was learn to be a peacemaker because if you’re not a peace maker
you’re gonna you’re gonna have that opposites repelling and
not get there yeah yeah I mean I feel like in our case Linda and I out of the
chute when we first got married I was kind of like that was when I was really
starting to get into personal finance and realized I’m a mess I’m trying to
get out she hadn’t quite come to that
realization yet so I was trying to you know string her along a little bit and
we were making some progress but once we we got in unity like you’re talking
about so we had a budget before that we were making some smarter financial moves
but we didn’t really see progress until we were in unity and that like was a
game changer and and honestly when you say that 10x think it makes so much
sense to me because we just saw that thing that once
we were in unity in an agreement it’s like it just catapulted us forward
financially so yeah that’s that’s really good Bob I did not realize that I was
married to my greatest financial adviser in fact I didn’t treat her that way at
all and it was through the pain of our mistakes that God helped me to see she’s
right there my wife is phenomenal with this stuff yeah well I I was not engaged
in her and her wisdom her sense of accuracy her precision her intuitiveness skill at keeping the books and records
straight all of that I was missing and I was coming to do it myself thinking that
I was going to somehow impress her with it and it wasn’t yeah that’s all right
um so let me ask you this kind of coming back to you know some of the couple’s
you’ve counseled over the years and you might have already answered this but but
if not so what like one decision or change of belief have you seen in
certain couples that has set them apart and maybe it is this unity thing but if
there’s something else like just a really big key thing that many couples
are missing out on that a lot of them got ahold of and it
just changed everything I think that if I would just sort of put it into a
little handle for people is that when you are about to enter into a financial
fight stop and recognize that the enemy has already won the battle when that
fight starts mmhmm because you’ve you’ve destroyed your
ability to work together and you have terminated the 10x benefit and so he’s
won he’s just he’s got you exactly where he wants you so when you when that
starts to happen when you you know it’s happening you know you get this it’s
coming it’s them somebody’s offended somebody’s gonna not you know that’s not
gonna work out very well make this decision God wants us to fight the
financial problems together and he doesn’t want us to fight each other you
know not God God doesn’t want us to fight each other
Satan wants you to find each other he’s loving that and so if you’ll just back
up and wait a minute I don’t want to go down that road I want to embrace her
turn and face our problem together and fight together you know yeah that simple
little paradigm shift helps stop the cycle of just perpetually being
frustrated and angry with each other and unable to make progress so kind of
flipping things in the other direction here you know I was reading some of the
stats you had in here and I had read some of them before about top predictors
of divorce I forgot where that section was but what you know of the couples
you’ve worked with the ones that have gotten divorced I mean I know you
don’t have all this information but the ones that you’ve seen who have gotten
divorced primarily because of financial reasons what were some of those things
there those red flags those things that the cautionary tales the things
that we can be aware of to try to avoid yeah that’s that’s that’s pretty broad
you know the people get divorced for a lot of different core reasons but when
it comes to the thing with you the all the studies show that is the leading
predictor of a divorce so financial arguments regardless of
income regardless of wealth those are the leading predictors of divorce and I
think the reason that it’s it’s so central and I’ll get to some of the
symptoms but the reason I think is so central is because people feel unloved
if finances aren’t taken care of you know your your spouse spells loves to
keep but you know security S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y yeah and if money is insecure then
she’s gonna feel like you don’t love her and she’s put more prone to speak in
disrespectful ways and and cause you to feel unloved as well and so it drives a
wedge in our hearts because it’s just so personal and I think you know just some
of the extremes that I’ve seen I’ve had a couple come in for counseling that she
discovered that he had hidden all of his debt accumulation from her before the
marriage and after the marriage when they came to see me they had two hundred
fifty thousand dollars in consumer debt they were both working on straight
Commission well he had missed a couple of months of hitting his quota and
getting his normal paycheck and so he made up some sales and got fired and so
he can’t she came he came to her and said I’ve got some bad news I’ve lost my
job I haven’t made my quota for the last two months I lied about it and there’s
about $250,000 in debt you didn’t know that we
honey I bought your wedding ring on credit I didn’t tell you about my
student loan debts I paid for our honeymoon on credit and those two cars
in the driveway I really didn’t pay for I borrowed money for now it was tough it
was tough one and somebody somewhere referred them to me
thank you pastor the church and I really hurt for them and so I call that
financial infidelity where yeah you’re lying to each other you’re covering
you’re not transparent and honestly that’s so destructive to trust in a
marriage it’s almost akin to sexual infidelity
you know where you you cheat he cheated his wife and so she left I’ve seen I had
a couple come in just recently that she came home from work they were both
employed both professional and their furniture was sitting out in front of
their yard to her shock they had been foreclosed upon and he didn’t tell her
that he was behind on the mortgage Wow and for them they decided that I mean
there was a complete meltdown there was a complete disaster relationally they had
three children can you imagine Linda coming home
tomorrow afternoon and your furnitures out divorce is not far away right you
know it’s it was knocking at their door but that couple turned and they could
they fought each other fiercely and then when they came to me
we walked him through this process and they quit fighting each other that’s
good as that wasn’t gonna keep the that wasn’t gonna stop the foreclosure what
was gonna stop the foreclosure stop the you know losing everything they had is
if they would work together and it was interesting I said to him you know
there’s one way to solve this problem and he said what’s that and I said let
her manage your finances because he was doing it all like I had
been and he you know you’ve never thought of it and once she got ahold of
the finances you know the checkbook and the budget and all those things I can assure
you no foreclosure she’s gonna get the bills yeah that’s crazy
Wow all right so yeah so one of the kind of groups of people who I want to talk
to a little bit are the people who might be listening or watching who can maybe
you know are starting to see some of the benefits and the potential of what can
happen when you both get on the same page husband or wife get on the same
page but I’m sure there are some people watching and listening who feel like it’s not gonna work for them who feel
like their spouse is a unique special case and they’re yeah that it’s just not
gonna work for them it’s not worth the effort or the potential battles that
will come because whenever you mention money this one spouse shuts down what
would you say to somebody like that yeah I would say that there’s always hope I
do not believe there’s any case that doesn’t have hope to be restored or
recovered out and I’ve seen it over and over and over and over Bob I I’ve seen
what I believe are miracles in this area yeah yeah would would by the time they
get to me sometimes they’ve been through everything else yeah you know I’m the
I’m the last stop on the train and and it’s always bad man I feel like I get
the bowl of spaghetti and somebody says make it into a nice you know uniform
grid yeah and do it fast and so I’ve had those experiences I had one where a
couple couldn’t look at each other couldn’t talk to each other it was there
was such a damage and wound in their lives that it was it was almost like if
either one of them said something there was going to be a you know an explosive
time action and people had said there was no hope in fact when they got to me
the the wife handed me a note that she had written
didn’t show her husband and I read it as we started counseling together and it
said I cannot go on any longer like this if today doesn’t help us I’m taking my
own life Wow I thought Lord how did I get into this situation Wow
it it felt overwhelmingly dire this was the couple that we were sitting outdoors
at like a Starbucks and she was on one side of the table he
was on the other I was between them and they could not even kind of face
each other Bob and so they were ready to give up and what I discovered in talking
with them is that neither one of them ever apologize to the other hmm and so
what happens when you don’t apologize that sort of defrag all the baggage all
the all the wounds and all the hurts is that it’s just one brick on top of the
other that builds a wall it’s a relational barrier and neither one could
get around that wall and so I don’t know why I said it but I just looked at them
and I said boy we can’t go forward until one of you apologizes to the other for
something somebody’s got apologized yeah and I remember sitting there with my
arms folded thinking I wish I hadn’t kind of you know that wasn’t I could
hear my watch ticking Bob it was and I thought how long we gonna sit here but I
was just waiting waiting waiting and to my complete shock
the man who was very stoic very objective and difficult he was difficult
he fell out of his chair out there in this outdoor setting with other people
around hit the concrete with his knees crawled around me to her put his head in
her lap and wailed will you please forgive him Wow public setting and she
immediately said yes I forgive you and I love you and they
both cried and it was sort of this mental picture for me was this wall just
crumbled into dust yeah and then we started then we started okay now let’s
work together yeah you and so I have hope for every couple to answer your
question everybody yeah I mean and seeing something like that and I’m sure
you have tons and tons of stories you know like that are really of amazing
things happening yeah I mean that’s got to just really inspire ya inspire you to
consider your doing what you’re doing and that this stuff works yeah it is inspiring Bob and I take it from the standpoint I mean I you know as I said people come to me when it’s
usually pretty pretty serious and people come to me thinking that the divorce is
inevitable sometimes they both have a lawyer and
they just kind of meet with me to see if we need to go through with it and I’ve
seen it over and over get sorted out and so yeah I really do believe that
marriage is the solution to the financial problems people are having and
that if we can help them to get it right they’ll go from being in deficit
financially to being able to flourish but their relationship would just become
very thrilling it’s and you and Linda are experiencing that Ann and I are
experiencing that it’s one of the benefits of being on the same page that
I think is somewhat underestimated yeah yeah it’s uh it’s amazing I mean you
know like I was mentioning a little bit but I mean that’s one of my favorite
things in life is just being in unity with my wife you know I mean because
it’s one of things before you get married I feel like maybe I don’t know
you have a skewed view of what marriage is but we spend so much time together
where our lives are so intertwined together that when we’re not in unity
it’s terrible and when we are if we feel unstoppable and and it’s just a really
important thing and I think another point to consider here and you know I’d
love here on this – but it’s it’s bigger than just
us it’s bigger than you know you and I or just are our spouses it’s like this
affects the rest of the world this affects the people that you know we are
going to reach or impact with our lives because when you’re in the middle of a
battle with your spouse like normally you’re not at your best to go do
whatever God has called you to do normally I mean at least for me those
are the moments where I struggle to obey the Lord and the small things that he
asked me to do because I’m frustrated about this or that or the other thing and
not to mention you know like you’re talking about that 10 X Factor like what
does that mean for the giving that we can accomplish in our lives
you know when we’re together so anyway any other thoughts along those lines
well I think it’s an I think it’s an important point because for me
personally and I want you to think about this I’ve been married now more than 40 years congratulations but to this day my wife’s support and encouragement and affirmation and and
knowing we’re in unity is one of the greatest sources of courage and strength
that I have mm-hmm are from the Lord I mean when we’re together I feel emboldened I feel like I can run through the you know run up the tallest mountain I I’m
I’m my fullest I’m more fully alive but the opposite is true
we’re in conflict when there’s you know there’s a there’s kind of I call it I
grew up with this term sand in the sheets you know where it’s uncomfortable
you’re not close to each other and you know it’s just you kind of go to bed
angry and you wake up angry and it just kind of grinding it out I’m my weakest
and I’ve had to explain that to my wife even a little tension now we’re
sensitive to because it does impact everything Bob it impacts impacts your
ability to perform an impact your ability to to fulfill your purpose to
give us as much as I think God intends for us to you know we weren’t on the
same page giving I don’t mind revealing that
after 21 years I Ann asked me you know to analyze our giving what I’d been in
charge of and it was 2.6 percent of our gross income after 21 years and i was
super happy about that I thought man I’m the national average I’ve got it going
on here and she looked at me and thought that’s not what I want to do I mean that
was one of the areas where she was super disappointed in me and I thought you
know it feels pretty good to me making it happen and why would you be
unhappy with that and what I found out is my wife really really did want giving
to be our top priority with money yeah and we unified around that but it was it
was a process to get there and I would say that was a really really big shift
for both for in our marriage it was required my change but it also brought a
lot of joy to us as we started to work together in that area yeah that’s so
good all right so I don’t want to take up much more time here but tell me yeah
I’d love to hear you know just any final thoughts you might have of encouragement
to people who are just you know struggling with all this and maybe it
where you know you or I have been at some of our more challenging times or
maybe far worse with kind of battling out with our spouse so any other final
words of encouragement you’d have for them yeah there are what I call the soft
issues the issues that have nothing to do with the mechanics it’s not whether
you’re good with math or whether you know how to you know fill out a budget
form it’s not whether you’re a spender or the saver all those issues that
people tend to to get into I think miss the mark what really needs to
happen is people need to analyze what’s inside what’s in your own heart and are
you willing to change in order to come together to experience the benefit that
God intended your marriage to have to truly truly
flourish for me it took a lot of pain to get me to that point I was stubborn if
Ann were on the interview with you Bob I try to keep her out of the interviews
because she tells the truth on every question completely unfiltered truth teller
she she she would laugh about that watching even now but that’s the truth
she would just say you know Chuck was Chuck was difficult personality to live
with and I was there were times when she wasn’t sure she could make it to endure
my personality and some of the decisions I made she prayed for me for 21 years
yeah silently prayed for me she’s very quiet and and a very deep thinker and so
just between her and the Lord she kept asking the Lord to get a hold of me and
of course if she had told me that I’d been offended like why are you praying
for me you know what’s wrong with me I don’t need that prayer you got a great you got
a great deal here yeah she was praying for me and God answered her prayer and
that’s what changed and then then we worked on the non-mechanical issues how
were we peacemakers I think it takes two in a marriage to really thrive not just
one you can survive in a marriage if one of you is willing to apologize and make
it right but if both of you are in fact we we try to be first we when we’re
offended when we’re not getting you know along we we sort of it’s unspoken now
but it’s like who’s going to go first and usually we’re in a little bit of a
competition to be the first to apologize that’s helpful yeah that’s great
apologize we admit we were wrong we admit we need to learn and then what
we’ve done is we’ve worked on defining what is prosperity to us for Ann it
was inside our home for me it was outside our home yeah that’s reason that
we were going different directions the more successful I became the more
miserable Ann became and I honestly could not understand that Bob
yeah and you had to explain it to me that my heart was outside the house it
was my next promotion it was my next you know the next rung on the networths
calendar and the ladder and and she didn’t feel a part of that and so we
need to define prosperity what does it really mean and bring it back into our
home instead of out we we worked on our joint purpose as a couple what are we
here for why did we get married what are we supposed to do together not just Ann
supporting my purpose but us having a joint purpose and then we worked through our philosophy what do we believe about finances when she brought a belief in
the marriage I brought one neither one of us had a biblical belief about money
a biblical philosophy and so we adjusted there and then we had to learn to accept
our personalities and that was the big step that brought us together so instead
of offending me or getting on my nerves or making me feel like a failure if she
needed to correct something or input to the issues I embraced her and she is as
detail-oriented as they come Bob yeah and I’m not and you know the detail
person is usually right but the big picture person doesn’t want to admit it
you know that tension existed when she would bring up a detail and when I
discovered that I needed her I didn’t just tolerate her I actually needed her
and I went to her and apologize for treating her personality her particular-ness
her detailed small minutia questions with disdain I apologize
for that yeah and I welcome to her in to say okay speak into this what do you
think we ought to do here what bills should we pay first which debt should we
prioritize what should we stop doing with our finances where do you want to
give what we invest in and when when I opened up
about those things to really became one mm-hmm
we had been like this and God made us like that and like you just gave
encouragement to we became a solid unit inseparable in many ways and that last
bit of area of our life where we didn’t feel compatible because we’re total
opposites God made us compatible it was like was like the the gears synced yeah
and we started working huge progress emotionally relationally spiritually and
financially yeah that’s so good all right well this is the book Money
Problems Marriage Solutions yeah I mean if you’re listening to us or watching us right
now go get this if you need it go buy it for
somebody who does because yeah I really feel like this is a big big deal
yeah and I mean I know as well as you do that this is a really common problem
and it just affects way too many marriages and there’s a lot at stake and
it’s a really important thing so so yeah if you are struggling with that
definitely check out the book Chuck thank you so much for taking the time
today I really appreciate it I know you have a lot going on and yeah and where
can people find out more about you if they need to Crown.org Crown dot O-R-G we have a very very simple web address you can find us there and I wanted to
mention a couple of things before we wrap up sure
gratulations on Oliver I don’t remember if I congratulated you upfront thank you but my wife wanted to be sure that I got to say that today and congratulate you your
family’s expanding that’s great news and truly thank you for what your what
you’re doing Bob I hope we can be more collaborative in the future and help
more people yeah I’m really honored honestly we we’ve been around a long
long time and we’re a global organization but we sincerely appreciate
what you’ve accomplished and how many people you’ve been able to
help no I yeah it means way more than you know so thank you well thank you Bob
it’s great being with you today all right well thanks Chuck it’s been a
pleasure and we’ll do it again sometime yeah God bless you friend and if you haven’t already head over to SeedTime.com so you can get your Free email
course from us on How to Master Your Money Using Biblical Principles so
that’s all for today have a great rest of your day adios

About the author

Comments

  1. What about those, like myself, where I'm still waiting on God's leading regarding marriage. And I'm 48! Yikes! And a female, so speaking for myself, it's so tough when you have to be both mom and dad along with tough issues like finances. Would be great to find a Christian women support group, but they tend to all be married! Que sera, sera.

  2. Yes…until lust, greed, narcissism, lost of love, selfishness and the 20 year old mistress steps in …not to mention the increased murder rate of spouses killing each other.

  3. I was crying through a lot of this. I divorced my husband after a wedge was driven between us. He didn’t want to work with me in finances and everything was going downhill. I felt that he was enabling our daughter and his family (brothers and sisters) and that it wouldn’t get any better, so I left. I watched this with my bf so I am very hopeful for our future. Thank you so very much!!

  4. I am a firm believer in the marriage arrangement set by God, but in these last wicked days I am a firm believer thst every woman should have her own vehicle, income, credit, savings, retirement, ETC first…and then also help with the plans of her and her husband. This is the great mistake many women made in the 50s, 60s, 60, 70s, even today! They love or loved their husbands and work hard with him to build a good life….then these men and some women also, decide they no longer want the marriage and start to hide money, assets, ETC. This is even common with entertainers also…..So love your mate and build FINANCES and assets with them….however; have your own cushion just in case! The divorce and murder rate is at an all time high due to infidelity, greed, narcissism, lack of love, mistresses, gambling, bad investments, ETC. This is a sad time we are living in….but being honest and realistic is key…..

  5. Awesome! Got to show my new wife this video! I think this advice is very encouraging and helpful in our journey together! 10X wow!

  6. Lmao I will never bet 50% of my net worth and belongings on a fucking woman 😂😂😂

  7. This is BS!.I think you are sooooo wrong! divorce rate is higher then 50% …so that would be very high risk of more then half of your wealth goes to tour ex and the half to the lawyers

    and take a high interest loan for child support for 18yrs.

  8. For men, the best financial advice I can give is to NEVER get married….ever. and keep your seed out of places that could cause you problems. Divorce for a man is almost always a guaranteed financial disaster. Women are not ladies, especially during divorce. #mgtow.

  9. Are yo completely out of your ducking mind? There is a practical reason Jesus never married and never bought a house.

  10. Until she divorces you and takes half your stuff holds your kids ransom and you have to play alimony and child support…. and let’s be honest.. most marriages end in divorce ( 54% in the USA within 18 months) and in 76% of cases the women initiated the divorce process …. guys go mgtow and take ownership of your freedom and money

  11. Bwahahahaha!!! Divorce, child support, losing your 401k, Ira, social security, home, possibly going to jail. No thank you.

  12. In response to the headline: That is unless you get divorced. In wich case you may end up in the poor house.

  13. This is another ploy to get men back on the plantation. Don't do it. The cost of her far exceeds what they are worth. How many times do you have to be raped by the court system just to find the one and only. It's not worth the time trying to find that needle in a hay stack hoping that it's your turn.

  14. Hey Bob, I was hoping you could offer any income suggestions for a married, disabled woman who has interest in making money online to just have extra income. Vlogging you tubing?

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